Seasonal Humor
Three men all passed away on Christmas Eve. Their deaths were unrelated. They didn't know each other, had never seen one another. They were not of the same professions. They were just the three guys that happened to show up at the same time. St. Peter looked upon them and, after a moments ponderance, said, “In order for you to enter Heaven on this Holy nIght, you must possess something that symbolizes Christmas.”
The first quickly went through his pockets and pulled out a red BIC lighter. He held it high and flicked it on, saying, “This represents glowing Christmas candles.”
“Welcome to Heaven” St. Peter responded.
The second man was rifling his pockets and pulled out his keys. He also held them high and gave them a little jingle, saying, “These represent the pealing of Christmas bells.”
“Welcome to Heaven” St. Peter responded.
The third man seemed desperate, fumbling through is pockets frantically. Oh, he had something in his left rear pocket that he had considered; but he had turned the others inside out without success. Finally, from that left rear pocket, he pulled a pair of red bikini panties. St. Peter raised an eyebrow and sardonically asked with some apprehension, “And just what do those represent?” The man hesitated, looked at St. Peter nervously, but finally said, “These are Carol’s.”
With the faintest of smiles on his lips, St. Peter said, “Welcome to Heaven.” ------------------------------ Now, many folks these days, because of Christmas cards and Nativity scenes, seem to believe that the Three Wise Men arrived together, all at one time. The fact is, however, that they came from different places, different directions; and while they may have all arrived within a fairly short span of time, they did arrive at different times.
The first to arrive was a fairly short Persian wise man. He acknowledged Mary and Joseph, gave his gold, then knelt and prayed over the Child. After some time, he looked up and asked, "What have you named the Child?" To this Mary only offered, "We await guidance."
A bit later, a middle sized Turkish wise man arrived. He acknowledged Mary and Joseph, gave his frankincense, then knelt beside the Persian wise man and prayed over the Child. After a bit, he too looked up and asked, "What have you named the Child?" Again, Mary simply said, "We await guidance."
The third to arrive was a tall Ethiopian wise man. As he entered the tiny manger with his Myrrh in hand, he bumped his head hard against a rafter. He grasped his forehead and grimaced, exclaiming loudly and painfully, "Jesus Christ!"
Mary turned to Joseph and said, "See, Joe. I told you that was better than Herbie."
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Think about it. "In Herbie's Name, Amen." That doesn't sound right, now does it? And think of all those Hispanic guys that would be named Herbe', instead of Jesus. Yes, we Christians owe a lot to that Ethiopian wise man.
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