Satire Journalism by Poet Perry Campanella
Short Story Fictional Prose
Poem - Born on one May night suddenly to be a twin maybe, the Doctor may have said, I and white dear came into this world at the same tine, this should have not have been possible, at that time cause... This white dear had antlers, although small stubs at first one could figure it had something to do with demographic phenomena an steroids, eighter way there we were together, lookin' stupid, having seen that cupid photo only once with the two of us together in wintery weather... at Disneyland Canada where mother dear use to visit once in a great white while I smile...then crack-up with it as I recall...
This story goes on and that when mother dear had us both in that crib together, our cage rattled us so we hated it truly, also cause we had to share everything, the worse part was that our makeshift bottle with which had only one nipple on it, tasted weird a-bit...
I distinctly remember white dear was stronger and more like a hog about sharing. Later as I grew, to understand life better, and showing another photo, that nipple looked as though it were attached to a big black inner tube, rounded not a cube and with a label that read Steroids for white dear only and so I did keep that picture to this day really I say, It was when we both climbed up and over that crib at some time, only to fall over, out of our crib tree clothes and all... I landed on a sled upside-down with my little legs wiggle in', white dear were not so lucky and it was that last trip on down to the snow-topped ground below I would see her, rolling down that snow-covered mountain and straight off a mountain ledge, an so to me, up-side-down this looked something like she was falling off a white cloud with legs straight-out, as I like to remember my twin white dear with those stubby antlers, white ears, in my loving' memory, sliding' directly up to Heaven on wings like a dove...
. Now you may think this story is about white dears fate or how the sled I fell onto had managed to slide up a fallen tree covered with iced snow, to launch me up-up into a tree limb to catch and save my life enough to tell you my story after infancy; Right! or about Mother Dear - Wrong! 'No' NO... This story is about an hour-NO! No! only joking with you! This story is about College Life, a then time that would come to embarrass me and you forever. I had been rejected at most University campus institutions and well, until... I wrote my own acceptance letter to alpha-beta grama delta recycle institute for rejects, after... our Idiot student's High School stamped us - 'UNFINISHED' and where this story begins. to diminish Homelessly and parent-lastly was a difficult time in my youth-full life when a fledged frat had to undertake serious initiation requests to belong and I wanted to belong to any - anyone should want to have an ignorant idiotic, dimwitted, nitwit, twit wonder, like myself for a member into a wild stupidity Frat Order. as today I just wander... ( natwit )
My day had come and their first request seemed odd and somewhat easy a real snap! Floating into my tree-house crib like a little paper plane - letter, just to land onto my pillow so insane; your requested 'order' is, as I read it to say a little smuggled ): little unreadable! "Go to McDonald's and there to purchase a whopper, fries, a co or coke and consume in one hour, then do prove it! you nitwit... Off to that corner, fast food place requested an I ordered same as requested, only! I had only fourteen cents and the 'voice from that order-box asked me to pay at that window 99cents in US money, only! I replied: "Hold that a min." when just then... Donald drove up! I asked if I could borrow his new bike to get the rest of the money I needed and he said: "if only you make it fast" Off I went and around the block when I'd spot Mac there! I asked for 85 cents when Mac said he would take that bike for it! I said: Ok! and ran back to the window and when, Donald asked: "did you get your money"? I nodded and paid for that previous order held! When Donald asked: "where did you park my bike," I said: "I thought you said I could get the rest of the money I needed with your bike"!
What! What! You Did What? At just that moment the window opened, the server handed me a box, not the usual box, as this box was a sealed plexie-glass box with the food suspended in mid-air as floated on anti-gravity in that box and stuck motionless, I only had one hour, too open and eat the entire content! What was I to do and how could I repay Donald? Running past Donald fast with a "Please I'll take care of you later" when I heard the window server shout "you should have read the fine print" When Donald laughing loudly ”serves you right" Not knowing what else to do I stopped at a hardware store and inside, grabbed a hammer, pounded it on that counter, till the clerk asked: "I hope you intend to pay for that hammer?" Now shaken'
That letter actually read: Go see Mac Donald, he will purchase a whopper, fries, "the co is for me" I'll, in one hour, pay for it" "Do enter the Contest" mom I felt faint, hit the floor I think fast, shortly - I came to and when Mother Dear called me wake-up; Come come to thee sound of my voice; "COME to thee LIGHT son" ! My dream a vision was now over!
Are YOU still laughing - Cool beans - Copyright © Poet Perry Campanella
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