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In Trouble with Equal Opportunity Employer


He got into trouble with the E.O.E.

Because he re-created the job application

He owned his own business, he thought he could get by with it.

Unfortunately, someone sneaked an extra one out and sent it to them.

The FEDS, the highway patrol of the job application process.

He asked them their age. Their waist size, their blood type, their credit score,

Their religion, whether or not they got along with their neighbors, and there was a

Comment box. So if you answered no, you had to explain in three paragraphs.

He asked them to bring in a cute relative, who was willing to volunteer sometimes.

She had to be a she, and had to be between the ages of 18 and 22.

You got extra points toward the job possibility if she was blonde.

At least he knew better than to ask them to bring in a buxom one.

There were six boxes under race.

The first four said white.

The fifth one said “hell yes, white”, and the last box said “other”.

You received 100 points for the first three x’s, 200 points for “hell yes, white,”

But by the time you got to the other box, all the points were gone.

There was a little disclaimer explaining this.

This potential employer neglected to run this new improved job application

Past anyone except his racist mother.

The points for the boxes was actually her idea, so the die was cast.

He was not only fined, he was found guilty, and sentenced to ten years.

So now he is in his cell, creating a new job application through his tears.


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