how he really got into politics
“How he Really got into Politics”
1
At first glance they were ice, they had to be, or snow but no doubt they were evil.
2
They had a leader. He had the finest hair and a #youarenotthefather or #yourfired kind of flair to him, an appeal of sorts. he liked the finer things in life so when he discovered the secret to creation of inanimate life with adamantium he found on a meteorite he quit his job and went into public office.
3
Well the mayor was easy secretary easier. He didn’t want to just kill them he wanted to pay back so he shot through his desk and into his dick. He heard a squeal and squinch and the secretary died.
“What was that?”
The mayor pulled his hands up. They were covered in blood. “You shot my dick.” “Yea think it will kill you?”
“no nut caught...”
BANG!!!
and he was off to see the vice mayor. “Bang Bang Bang” said the slightly slow Charlie. Everyone said he was a little light on the head snow. But nobody bothered to tell him for his antics were hilarious. And how could you look at his dumb ass and not laugh.
4
The vice mayor was in the heat bath and their leader paid a kid to run in and hand him a note that said simply “The snowmen have come to kill you. Come outside and diet.” He immediately thought it was his wife she was always getting on him to lose weight. In actuality it was Charlie who amazingly got through the whole note without maxing one mistake just simply adding one extra letter. the other snow men were convinced it would still work.
so when the vice mayor got outride needless to say he was shocked to find evil zombie snowmen there to dismember and delete all traces of the vice mayor. Charlie got the left arm and kept it as a souvenir.
5
The jester would have been easy vanilla cream pie to the face with acid as a filling would have done the trick. This my friends though was a court jester the worst and evilest kind of jester there is playing games with people’s lives and then making jokes about it. so needless to say he had a crew as evil as himself. There were lawyers but not just any lawyers prosecutors and kind that when he packs for vacation brings three things the mournful picture of family, a colt .45 and a bottle of swigging whiskey that were all getting low on which made them louder and more frantic.
They met on the baseball field. But the leader wasn’t stupid he had reanimated some other things. 1. A bunny with lasers on its head and a freakishly enhanced body but held together of metal and plastics packed in there too. 2. a zebra whose stripes were snakes that could replenish endlessly. 3. The actual soul train, and of course this tommy train masterpiece of children’s programming. 4. and a handful of math nerds he would need along the way to figure out the law bullshit and numbers game.
“get this city back to right!” He was fond of saying and afterword’s he would stroke his sweet soft combover which had even the greatest minds of the time were stumped.
“Why would someone in politics have a combover we all know politicians were rich especially the ones with a humongous supply of adamantium.”
6
“So this is your little army? HA!” he said and his lawyers ripped off their clothes to reveal them all in tight yoga pants but they did really….
“Look like ninjas.”
“Oh yeah got it it’s just the spandex...”
“They’re karate pants.” The leader laughed HAHA
“They definitely are yoga pants look that one says love pink.”
“That’s cuz she’s a girl you moron.”
“Moron I like that word that’ll be your new name Moron the Court Jester.” Their fearless leader said laughing hysterically.
“Its really not that funny.” He said getting pissed.
“Yeah well do something about it.” He said continuing to laugh.
THEN!!
RIGHT THEN!!!!
It got serious. One of the ninjas threw a Chinese star at the ascending snow-man and it cut off Charlie’s twig of an arm that had a $40,000 watch that dropped to the ground as well as his clean severed tree branch hand that began to glaze over with sap.
“Charlie NO!”
“That was my good arm.” He held up his other a little stunted thing. I just have to pause her for what kind of sicko makes a snowman with a jutted arm. No like he was making a tyrannosaurus rex. NOT COOL MAN. Not cool at all.
But this absurdly of all absurdities put a fire in the snow men’s bellies looked even to melt a bit. So when they attacked with full force.
Soon the ninja were dead as was the court jester. the snowmen receded to the deeper parts of the forest.
7
Some say that Charlie still lives. Some say that smooth haired psycho continued in politics this is not for me to say but sure it isn’t an implausibility.
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