Gerrards End

Gerrard's End.

Gerrard lived in a hole in the garden of No17, Honeysuckle Crescent.

He was quite comfortable living on his own.

He would only venture out when it was raining or had just stopped and the ground was nice and damp.
he was always on the alert for any predators that were on the hunt.
Early Bird was always on the look out for a quick snack and Gerrard made sure he wasn't it.
Oh! I forgot to mention that Gerrard is an earthworm.
He had no desire for other worms for companionship and was quite happy just to burrow deep under the garden.
Now for no particular reason that he could think of, Gerrard suddenly wondered what it would be like to stay out for a while and bask in the sunshine like some of the insects did, especially those Ants.
Silas Slug, on hearing Gerrard relate this thought, told him of the horrific end that had befell his late great uncle Crud earlier that Summer.
He had decided that he would like to visit his brother, Gerrard's great grandfather Sidney, who lived in a commune under the shed at the bottom of the garden.
It was raining when he set off, just before dawn, again hoping to be missed by Early Bird.
His plan was to get to the broken plant pot and get his breath for a bit and then , if it was still raining, carry on to Sidney's place and stay the night, particularly as there was to be an Ugly Bugs Ball, it being Saturday.
His plan would have succeeded if only he hadn't spotted a rather succulent cabbage just off the path.
His stomach as usual won the battle and off he veered for a quick munch.
As he was dining in the lee of a huge leaf, he never noticed that it had stopped raining, in fact even when he set off again, now with a full belly and moving a lot slower, he thought it was still raining due to all the drops slipping off the leaves overhead and dripping down on his back.
He started to feel an unusual heat on his back, it was becoming unbearable very quick and then he suddenly realized the terrible mistake he had made in stopping to ease his greed. The sun had begun to shine.
The hot Summer sun soon dried out the garden , Crud found no hiding place, he tried hard to make it to the broken plant pot which was tantalizingly close but heavy with his intake of cabbage, he was tiring fast. The heat dried out his back and soon he new he wasn't going to see his brother ever again. No party time for him, he just shriveled and died just in front of the plant pot that was to have been his safe haven.
Gerrard was agog with this tale of horror, it was a dire warning that he should have heeded, But Gerrard being Gerrard, He decided that he knew better, he had a cunning plan to succeed where his great uncle Crud had failed.
So, very early, well before dawn he set off to the shed, wriggling along almost reaching a snails pace . He hugged the edge of the path so in the event of trouble he could slither under one of the border plants for protection.
Traveling so fast he soon tired out and decided to have a nap under the leaves of the potato patch.
Just as he was slipping into a doze he saw the huge blade of the gardeners spade coming down at frightening speed.
Before he could move it had sliced him in two.
Oddly he felt no pain and wriggled off to a safe distance, napped and continued on with his quest. He did notice that he could move much quicker now, probably , he thought, because he was only half the size from when he started.
As he neared the plant pot, his digs for the rest of the day before it started to heat up, he heard a voice behind him. He looked round and saw another worm of similar size wriggling toward him. Hang on Gerrard it said, I'm coming with you. Oh no your not said Gerrard, this is my quest and mine alone so wriggle off.
Anyway, who are you? Ive never seen you in the garden before.
I've always been with you it said, I'm your rear end Arfur.
Gerrard was both amazed and angered at this revelation.
Well, he said indignantly, I don't want your company, I've always been on my own and I plan to stay that way.
Sorry, Arfur said, I'm your other end and we are one and the same, where the front goes the back follows.
Angrily Gerrard slithered off toward the plant pot as he was starting to get a warm feeling on his back .
When I looked back as he made it to the shade he saw his so called other half was nowhere to be seen.
Gerrard was a bit perturbed by the confrontation with Arfur, so much so that it put him off his journey to see his great Uncle Sidney, anyway he could always go another time when the Ugly Bug Ball was on.
Heslept soundly under the plant pot and once again long before dawn he set off home, albeit wriggling faster than he thought possible, due to the lack of body weight.
Home was a welcome sight as he wriggled down his hole ready for a nice long sleep.
he stopped dead in his track!
There was another track, and it went straight down his hole!
Just then, his nemesis popped his head out and said, well it's about time, I was wondering when you would get back, Ive been waiting all night for you.
Waiting said Gerrard, waiting for what?
This is my hole, mine. I tunneled it out so you can slither off. You can get lost, I don't want you here , I live alone get it?
Not now you don't, said Arfur, 'cos I'm your other half and we have to share.
Dream on, said Gerrard, I'll get the Garden Council to evict you, so don't get settled.
With that , Gerrard wriggled off to the old biscuit tin that served as the Council Office.
Sebastian Snail, the senior housing officer was in his office as Gerrard, unceremoniously, barged in.
What in earth is the matter? Sebastian asked, when he saw his angry potential voter.
Gerrard stated his case and Sebastian nodded and twitched his stalks in an officious manner.
After due consideration he said, sorry mate, there is nothing I can do for you.
The top and bottom of it is , not to make slight of the matter, that you are the top and bottom of it , so to speak.
You being the top and Arfur, being the bottom, so to speak , if you get my meaning.
Right then, I have a lot to do , but before you go, just one question puzzles me.
If you were Gerrard the full worm before, why is he called Arfur?
Because he is only Arfur worm you idiot, shouted Gerrard as he stormed out!
The end of a worms tale.

© Dave Timperley May 6th 2016

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