Faceless Love Affair
Faceless Love Affair
It was one typical summer, as I thought it was. I usually travelled at around six o’clock in the morning from home going to my work place that usually takes two hours. Yes indeed, the travel time is killing me but it’s normal in my country. Not everyone could live near their workplace because it is expensive, congested and the places aren’t so good to dwell in. And aside from these, working people prefer to live in their peaceful and quite home, far from the fast-phase-stress-filled life in the city.
I wake up at around five in the morning; have my 30-minute breakfast with a cup of coffee while looking at nowhere. It is a rewarding minutes for me before I start my day because later, I will not have this luxury of time to do such thing. I work as a general manager at the age of twenty-five. Just imagine what kind of life I have everyday trying to be very productive and only care about is closing a good deal.
If you think that I know a lot of things, no I don’t. I don’t know how to smile, when to take a break, I don’t have the courage to resign and can’t go out as much as I wanted to because time is the thing that I don’t have. I struggle daily to fight against what I believe I should do as a worker and as a humane individual. I wake up early and stayed in the office late at night. This is life for me, my undying passion of slowly killing myself and my own personal happiness.
So here I am sitting on a bus, six o’clock in the morning, looking out the window, travelling for more than two hours. I usually gets on the bus at the terminal, where there are few people hopping in and out of the vehicle. It is still early for others but it was a perfect time for me. I’ll have again my two-hour nothing to do but to sit for a moment lasted for almost a lifetime.
As the bus approached the intersection, it stopped and few people gets inside. I was busy looking outside, a guy, in a uniform, student of one of the universities near the place where I work in, came and sat beside me. I nearly had a glimpse of him. He neatly wears his uniform and the nearness of his body, sitting next to mine, I could smell his fragrance, he’s fresh, for what ever it means, he is fresh, a boy-next-door appeal in a school boy uniform, who never fail to attracts women.
It was a long trip as I whine everyday, but today was different. I wasn’t able to have a nap or I think I didn’t even wink a bit. He neither says a word nor did I. There’s nothing to talk about, we don’t know each other, just to remind myself. He gets off near his school, with the color of his uniform; I can tell where he is studying but the thing that I forgot to do, to look into his face.
I went home that night, and forget that interesting chunks of that day. In my life, unimportant details should be left alone for there is a necessity of my memory for other use, retrieving vital information that would help what I value most.
The night was terrible. I think the length of hours at night gets shorter. Because I again, I have to wake up right now and get inside that bathroom and leave.
Just when I thought I have forgotten what happened at around 6:15 am yesterday, the intersection of that specific location reminded me that a certain good looking faceless guy hopped in and share the same seat with mine. Were there any regrets within me for I haven’t check what he really looks like?
The answer came as quickly as I have never expected. Someone sat beside me, and I can tell who he was. The faceless guy, in the same uniform that I caught at the very end of my eyes, the same fragrance that I enjoyed last time and the same nearness of our sitting arrangement…
The second ride was more exciting than the first one. When the bus leave the terminal there were around five passengers including myself. And there were a lot of vacant seats inside and I just can’t say why he chose to sit beside me again. And the scenario when he gets in, the same as yesterday, I was looking outside my window, but the difference, I was thinking about him.
It is a debate inside my head whether I should check him out or not. Will I say hello, and say how good the weather is? Or should I say that his school won in the last basketball league? And I finally decided to shut my mouth and do nothing.
It paralyzed my brain of what should I do. What I remember is that for the entire travel, I just thought of him, what if he asks my name and my number, will I give it to him or not? To my surprised, time passed by and before I knew it, he was gone.
The next day was not the same; I stayed at home for it was my rest day. I wasn’t in the same bus and sitting beside the faceless guy. I am on my normal mode living as a sane individual, moving around the house as a human being again..
Monday morning, it was another heartbreaking scene between my flesh and my bed. I don’t like to wake up and go to work. If I were to ask, I just wanted to sleep all day and be a bummer for the rest of my life, not until I collected myself and realized that the idea is vain.
The same seat, the same intersection, but the question is, will it be the same like last week? Will he be standing in same waiting shed waiting for the bus where I was inside and will he be sitting next to me? The answer, yes.
It was a jubilant feeling that I don’t understand. Was it a will of someone that the thing like this happened consistently? Was it another joke that someone you don’t know, out of a million people, possibilities comes in the most unexpected day, location, people and manner of how it happened? And now the question, will I or will I not see his face today?
Everything happened for a certain reason. We might know it right now but time will tell why it has to be like that. And the consecutive encounter of two people didn’t just happened by accident; there must be a reason behind it.
Today will not come tomorrow. I have to take my chance and play my cards correctly. Waiting for someone to do things you wanted to do might not happened because the person might also be waiting the same wish that you have… or simply, he just wanted to mind his own business and mind my own too. In the end, I failed to look at him directly into his face.
That night, as I am about to go to bed, I promised that tomorrow will change the usual thing and I’ll have enough courage if he didn’t have one.
It seems that the intersection is far than as usual, I arrived in the terminal the same time and passed at the same time across the intersection. The bus stopped on the same bus stop and I was waiting for the guy to sit beside me again. But to my disappointment, he didn’t come. He missed the bus.
The next day, the same time, the same location, the same waiting shed, no faceless guy appeared. Until I arrived in the office, I was thinking that he might have other route or took another bus, but then I remember, it was the end of the summer school.
The journey became as boring as anyone could imagine. Sitting for two hours and continuously wishing that you are at home sleeping. The thought of the guy who gets on and off the bus was an interesting tale to tell but I don’t have the time to say it to anyone especially, it was just an idea.
The affair that I was thinking, purely was just my own. The fact of the matter was, he didn’t do anything aside from he consecutively sat beside me. I fail to see his face but if I did, nothing will change.
The journey with the stranger in the bus was wonderful and that ends there. Sometimes, things like that happened without a concrete meaning. I may not have the courage to do what I wanted to do but if I did, what will be the next step. Few weeks after those incidents, I no longer travel via bus. I finally moved in my apartment. Waking up early wasn’t a thing to deal with; it was easier and convenient life then.
Years passed but nothings change much about my life style. I am in the office late that night, just relaxing my nerve for that day and prepare to go home. I don’t worry if I come home late because I don’t have to wake up early the next day and travel long hours.
On my way home, I remember the faceless guy. I am trying to weigh if there’s any regrets about not saying anything or even seeing his face. And there was nothing. Things ended as expected. There were no us in the first place. Relationship comes into different ways, probably, but reality alters some of these possibilities. The occurrence of unexpected things was done through a wild and unconventional imagination of a person and there’s nothing wrong about that for it brings you to the place where people are afraid to find themselves into.
I maybe lacking in courage to open up what’s on my mind, but in my view, I think, I was just being realistic. That in reality, you might find enough courage to say what you wanted to say and ask what you wanted to learn, but the answer may not be the answer you wanted to hear.
But one thing that I realized in that summer time affair, that the faceless guy made my whole journey worth remembering…# SD
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