Escape from the Rock
Escape from the Rock
1
How it all happened is fuzzy now so I was thinking to write it down. I used to say I would never do drugs. But when you are so down you need a pick me up. My pick me up was crack. For a few seconds, I’d be in bliss. After that I would just fiend. I routinely owed my two weeks’ pay out completely because I couldn’t say no. Not saying I’m that much better but I do have money. This is an extreme feel good feeling I get now from that thought. So where to begin?
The first time I shot coke and remembered was close to ten years ago wow time has flown. I guess this isn’t the very beginning. So I shot the coke and I figured what the hell why not and it was fucking amazing. Its like I was within the entire world a shield before me. I tell you this; after that shot it was all over.
I was an addict.
I roughly went through over 50,000 on my three-year run. This is a rough estimate. I really have no idea how to calculate it. It could easily be five times that.
I shot Heroin with Lauren (now deceased) Kurt (now clean) And a couple people I don’t remember. That shit lasted a long time as did the coke.
2
For the first time… Well for all good intentions my first deadly overdose was on Heroin. I only survived cuz one of the guys gave me mouth to mouth with a tube though we never touched lips. Lol. So it wasn’t soon after that that I quit heroin. And then crack n coke too. I had been living off of nothing for so long I was losing weight and looking sickly. Also my lungs were taking quite a beating.
It’s really crazy but I had to stop I was getting monetary help from parents and I got out of the symbiotic dealer fiend relationship and went on my own. I can say the day I started paying mom at the beginning of the month to hold onto my money. Then I got hospitalized for a week and upon my return left Framingham and into Mom’s condo in Holliston.
Now I think back over the years. I’ve lost so many friends. I was even going to be Josh’s best man when he married Jillian. Now we are both sober but Josh is gone from an overdose of heroin. Channing who lived on my floor for 2 months died a week after I got out of the mental health facility. Lauren who was there when I shot up the first time is dead. A crush of mine Lindsay is dead. There are many others too. You hear it all the time on the streets. This ones in rehab, this ones in jail, this ones in the mental ward and this one is dead. It’s a sad feeling the loss but now I try to pick better friends, ones that wont die on me.
heroin
is killing
everything
I once
held dear
so many
friends
gone to
the hereafter
leaving
me alone
with methadone
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