Dreams of Reality

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Meetings and Musings

Day 1

A day is nothing more than the passage of time until two hearts can join again.

Well, hello there, gorgeous. I saw you sitting there in the shadows, hoping not to be noticed. You could sit there for days. Absentmindedly, you were drumming your fingers. I see you nod at the barista, asking for just one more minute as you try to decide what flavor espresso you want today. If I’m right, it will be caramel today. I know your favorite is mocha, but they are out of it today. You got the last of it yesterday and caramel is just the next best thing to mocha. Smooth, not too rich, and just the right amount of flavoring.

Ah yes, I am right. You take the small cup in your hands, deeply inhaling its contents as you bring it to your lips. You sigh contentedly and relax. Then, you steal a curious glance at me. You bring me to you. You tentatively touch me. You run your fingers down my spine and lovingly finger my clothing. It feels magnificent as your knowledgeable hands work me over. You open my cover and touch my print. Alas, we finally meet. I am called whatever you wish me to be called. My given name is irrelevant and I can be reinvented many times over. In your eyes I am the hero or the villain, whoever you need me to be.

Day 2

I would like to kiss you, but I am too shy. We are strangers, at best. Your dark, brooding eyes scan me, and a smile comes to play on your beautiful, full lips. I can hear your heart pounding as you tentatively touch me again. This time, you bring me close to your face. I can smell the combination of caramel and coffee and just a hint of mint on your breath. As I gaze into your face, I find myself wondering, what’s behind that smile? What makes that magnificent mind work? What puzzles of the world have you endeavored to explore. What makes you laugh? What darkens your soul? What secrets are you keeping and how can I unlock them? What treasures are waiting to be unfolded by tender probing and gentle nudging? I am at your disposal, a willing slave to your fancies.

Day 3

From the first moment I saw you, I wanted to meet you. I wanted to open up and show you a new world that you’ve never seen before. I wanted to take you to foreign lands and dance with unicorns and rainbows. I wanted to tell you tales and hear yours. I wanted to show you my battle scars and see yours. I wanted to probe your mind and soothe your heart. I wanted to be your friend, easing the loneliness that passes as our days. I craved a heartfelt kinship and you gave it to me. I wanted to tell you my dreams and hopes and aspirations and I wanted to hear yours. This is how a friendship is born.

Friendship Blossoms

Day 4

Now, we converse for hours, getting to know one another and move past the trappings of mundanities. I discover your likes and dislikes and willingly reinvent myself to make you happy, avoiding the things that sadden you or bring a shadow to your lovely eyes. I make you laugh long and hard and in that charming belly laugh you never use with anyone else. I slowly let you into my world, opening your mind and heart and filling my world with music and laughter. Your laughter is my music, you know. My beautiful friend, I have found my voice in you. I share with you my penchant for stories of distant stars and love forlorn, amid sappy fairytales and happy endings. You smile and share your guilty pleasure for the same. We are kindred spirits and I have found my happy ending with you. A sense of hope is born. You love to look at the world through the innocence of a child, with love and hope and a tenacity of which I’ve never seen. This endears you to me. Our friendship blossoms. Long hours are spent conversing and just enjoying one another’s company. You come to me in the wee hours of the morning seeking solace and comfort. I offer a tender ear and stories to make you laugh. I bear your silent cries and hold you tenderly in my heart. When you bitterly shed tears of frustration at the world gone wrong, my plaintive, weak answer is, “me too.” As we are kindred, we share our hearts and souls. Come let me take you back to the the world of rainbows and unicorns, of princes and princesses and realms far away. The world is daunting and the hour is late, but in our world, we are free.

Day 5

The morning comes and things are much brighter. My world is brighter because of you. The sun shines and the moon rises because of you. I am complete and need nothing. When I dream, I dream of you and in my dreams, you are mine and I am yours and we are together forever. Love is a sublime dream that I wish to never awake from. As long as you hold me, I am complete. The days we spend together are magnificent and magical and I can take you places you have never been and introduce you to people you’ve never met. Among unicorns and rainbows we dance. These are my companions and my bosom friends and they will soon become yours. I can bring you into my world and immerse you completely and you are once again mine. I have opened your heart and you have brought light to my soul. I am in love with you. I am yours forever, and you are mine. Life is complete.

Day 6

Your visits suddenly become less and less and my days drag on. You still visit when you can, and I still endeavor to make you smile. You have the most beautiful smile, you know. It lights up the darkest room. Every time you shine it my way, I am in heaven. Your smile lights up my darkest places and I crave your love and attention. You open my door and freely step in whenever you need me and I am always there. I welcome you into my world with open arms. You tentatively explore my beseeching mind and heart and I furtively reassure you of my love. Your reciprocal love sustains me. I rest in your arms, safe and secure and we dance with rainbows and unicorns to accompany us.

Day 7

You are in my dreams and I in yours. Rainbows and unicorns dance as we imagine our hearts joining as one. I follow you into the soft glow of love and see you as the most beautiful thing ever. Our love blooms, unsullied and perfect. I am yours and you are mine, and the world is sublime. Hero or villain, I am all and none with you. You are the sweet angel sent to rescue me, instead. I am imprisoned no longer, as I am buoyed by your love. I have purpose in my life and my purpose is you. You have opened my heart to endless possibilities and dreams untold and I am thankful. I sink into a blissful sleep, dreaming only of you, my love.

Day 8

Love pours from me, as I give you my heart and soul and it pours from me forever. I am yours and you are mine forever. I watch you as you share your kind nature with the world and radiate kindness with all you meet. You breathe love. You are a vision. You teach others to hope and that damned stubbornness comes in handy when things get tough. You always manage to rise above. Watching you, my world is rose-colored and I am blinded by love. I long to see you; bring a laugh to your face; a smile to your eyes. Then like a dream fulfilled, you come to me. You come to me in joy and bring light to my world. I sit in darkness until you visit. We share our hearts and I soak up your love. There is light in the darkness and that light is you. I waste away the days waiting for you to visit me.

Madly In Love

Day 9

Sleep is elusive and I am mad as I wait for you. I tend to the unicorn, but the rainbows are waning without your light. The storm clouds gather and lightning flashes and destroys the small house of dreams we have built in our last visit. The door is on the ground and I kick it in frustration. It shatters into shards of glass and one pierces my eye. I cry and tears of blood run down my face. I angrily wipe them away, leaving bloody fingerprints at the end of the rainbow. I cry tears of anger and abandonment and finally collapse into exhaustion. I awake to endless darkness. Sullenly I wait for you to return to visit me.

Day 10

Finally, after an eternity, you visit. I am too overcome with joy to bother you with the tale of destruction of our dream home. You seem to notice the blood on my face. Your kind eyes search for meaning and I oblige with stories of battles fought and won, against monsters who would dare to destroy our dream world. In my stories, it is a large, lumbering monster that broke into our dream home and callously destroyed it. Lies slip effortless from my lips as I bask in your love. I share my tales of valiant standoffs with make believe dragons and lament that I was not able to save our dream house. But alas, don’t worry my love, he has been banished and all is right again. See how the rainbows are brighter and more colorful? Do you see there are no storm clouds? Everything is perfect. Come sit with me awhile, love, and together we will soak up the sun. We are carefree and love awaits us. You ply me with promises to rebuild our bent but not broken door, making me believe that any obstacle can be scaled with you by my side. The skies brighten and again unicorns dance with us. You tenderly hold me, assuring me that your visits will become more frequent and you will protect me from the dragons that seem to have run amuck. You bid me a soft goodnight and pleasant dreams, and I sleep peacefully. I dream of you.

Day 11

You have returned but your visits are short. You reassure me that everything is fine and you are well. As long as you are happy, all is right with the world. There are no dragons to slay, no storm clouds to cower from. I take you to foreign lands and introduce you to princes and princesses and kings and queens and beautiful maidens. You act as if you are jealous. I laugh as they are nothing compared to you. I reassure you that I love only you and would never love another. We part and bid each other goodnight. I sleep and dream of you.

Voices

Day 12

Suddenly I hear a voice. It is unfamiliar. It is rough and base, but it speaks your name. The name that I love, therefore the voice speaks love. I hear you respond to that voice with a laugh and a lilt in your voice that I have only heard once before, when we met. I cannot hear the words that it speaks, however, it seems to please you and you respond with another laugh. I can see your eyes light up when the voice speaks, and I am immediately jealous. The dark clouds come in again and it begins to rain. Lightning again strikes but this time it strikes a unicorn. As she lay dying, I mercifully reach in and break her neck. She gives a sorrowful cry and vanishes, as unicorns do when they meet their demise. I feel my heart break as I’ve lost my friend. I am angry. I rip the newly planted roses from the ground and smash their heads. I hear their soft moan as they strangle. I uproot the steadfast trees and laugh menacingly as they fall to their doom. I light the bottom of the rainbow on fire and watch in amazement at the prisms of colors it makes as it melts into the sky. I marvel at the beautiful destruction as it shatters into a hundred droplets of color before it is gone.

Day 13

As days go by, the rainbow is destroyed and I have no unicorn as a friend. The flowers are dying and the trees lay strewn on the ground. The rain pours and a lake forms and I fashion a boat from the scarred remains of the once fearsome trees and sail to the land of the princes and beautiful maidens. I meet a handsome prince and we dance the night way as one can only do in fairytales. At daybreak he attempts to kiss me. I decline, as my love for you is stronger. I return to our destroyed dream home unfulfilled and await your next visit. I vow to ask you about the voice and share my own story of woe.

Guilty Destruction

Day 14

Days go by and your visit is long overdue. Having killed the unicorn, I am lonely. Having destroyed the rainbow, it is dark and cold. I return to the foreign land, to the prince’s embrace. I am guilty, but he offers me what I need. It is not love, as you are my only love, but it fills a hole in me. We dine on sweets and empty promises as he whispers words of sweet nothingness and I succumb to his ardor. We fall into mindless bliss as only fairytales can. Guilt stricken, I again return to our dream world and it is still barren, but alas you have not returned. I no longer feel like dancing as I sit and wait for you to return in our ruined world. I watch you as you become friends with the owner of the voice. She now accompanies you to the coffee shop where we met. She now smells your mocha-caramel breath and feels your hands caress her spine. She now listens to your joyous chatter and quells your fears. Your need for me has gone, but my craving for you has intensified. I yearn to hear your voice and see you gazing at me lovingly once again.

Day 15

Finally you come to visit me. I am guilty for having used the prince in the foreign land many times while waiting for you and having killed the unicorn, my only friend in the world. I am sad because the rainbow is gone and the trees and flowers are dead. I am cold as the storm clouds are still here and everything is still dark. When you come to see me, the clouds part and we are once again awash with love. We may not have a rainbow, but we have some sunshine. You ask what happened to the unicorn and where the rainbow has gone and my easy lies of witches and magical spells ply you. The evil witches took the rainbow and put a curse on the trees and flowers. An evil dragon came and with fire breath destroyed all living things in the world, leaving nothing but hollowed out, burnt remains of the once beautiful forest we planted. You see my boat and I tell you of my rendezvous with the prince, neglecting to tell you the sordid tale of lust and loneliness. You do not mention your newfound friend. I assure you that there is nothing to fear. There is a sense of peace in both of our worlds as we visit together. I again take you to faraway lands and we dine on elegant feasts with engaging conversations of the mind. Once again, I feel your love and I am grateful. Sometimes now, when you visit, you glance around furtively to make sure no one is watching. Who are you afraid of, my love? Is there someone else who steals your heart? You ask me if I love you, and my answer is always the same. I do, always and forever. You ask if my heart belongs to you. Only you, my love; only you, always and forever. I am yours and you are mine, forever and ever. It is just us, in our rainbow world. Yes, the unicorn is dead and the rainbow is gone, but they will soon return. Let us love for all eternity. Let us rebuild houses with clouds and dreams and hope and hold onto each other for all eternity. No one can destroy our dreams; I give you my heart and soul and ask for the same. I am yours and you are mine, forever. We are forever locked into an endless dance of love. We are one again, you and I. All the pain and loneliness are forgotten as you sit with me. I dream of you and you dream of me. Blissful ignorance is sweet. I can give you what you crave and you answer my soul’s call. We are soulmates and nothing can break us apart. You are my dream come true and I am everything you want and need. We are in love and nothing can break that. All is right with my world. I sleep again and await you in my dreams.

Day 16

Then, I hear that voice again. Cajoling you; saccharine sweet. It calls your name and you answer. You turn to the sound. Your eyes sparkle at the presence and you laugh. I love that laugh. I wish it were only for me. The voice speaks your name again, with the art of seduction on its tongue and you smile. You want her as much as she wants you. I can hear you as she plies you with kisses and soft caresses that used to be mine. I can see the hungry arms she holds you with and the sensuous way you kiss her. I know you love her.

Revealing Ruminations

Day 17

I’ve seen the way you look at her and her at you. She makes you happy in ways I never can. Your eyes sparkle and your lips part as she kisses you, whispering words of love. Talk of marriage and dreams shared. A future, a home, that I can never be a part. You turn into her waiting arms and the light goes dark again.

Day 18

The storm clouds once again gather and I am lonely. I again ride on the boat and visit the prince of old. We fall into familiar steps and once again I use him for comfort and find peace in his arms. He is a need, nothing more. You are a distant memory in the foreign land and while I am not happy, I am at least sated for a while. I am no longer murderous, I have accepted my fate. He offers me a home with him and as only fairytales can, I will forge my own happy ending. I return to my rainbow world, now dark and desolate, and watch as you and your corporeal lover make plans for your bright future.

Broken Fairy Tale

Day 19

Asleep in her arms, you dream of her only. I am nothing but a memory to her warmth and realness. At morning light, you sneak a glance at me. Is that guilt I see in your eyes? Oh, my darling, I could never make you feel guilty. I love you always and forever. Wipe away that guilt and visit me and we will dance until the storm clouds are gone and the rainbows and unicorns return and I will once again take you to the faraway lands and we will forget the mistakes we have made in our waking hours when we turned away from each other. Ignore the shards of broken dreams and we will dance blissfully until our feet are numb and we are too exhausted to move. Come back to me, my love.

Day 20

Many days, it might even have been years, have passed since your last visit. I have seen you and your love marry each other and start your own fairy tale. You no longer need the rainbows and unicorns that I once offered. Our dream house has become your real house and you are newlyweds living a blissful life. You no longer tell me your hopes and dreams or look to me for comfort or solace. I am forgotten. You tell your newfound love everything you used to tell me and speak volumes of your love for her.

Day 21

I have moved the prince into our once shared house of dreams. We have married and we have rebuilt the shattered walls and are gently replanting the destroyed garden. He has brought a small star from his land and we are tentatively watching it grow in hopes it can replace the light we have lost. With the return of the light, we are hoping for the return of the rainbows. We have populated our fields with horses from his kingdom and while they are not unicorns, we believe that with some hope, they will become unicorns. They are gentle beasts at least, and at least I am not lonely anymore. We are companionable. He is a nice man as princes tend to be. He tries to give me what I need and asks nothing in return. I do not love him, but we will share our own happily ever after as only fairytales can. My love for you is a torch, but it is futile. You cannot join my world, nor I yours. I am nothing but a shadow, a lingering memory. I beseech you, beckoning you to come visit me, but nothing brings you to me, as you are lost to me. For what can I offer you but unicorns and rainbows and houses of dreams that can never be? Corporeal love will always win. The prince and I will forge a new existence, as there is no life without you. My love for you is timeless and eternal. I will live in a loveless dark fairytale and will wait for you to come to me again. I know you will, as fantasy is so much better than reality. Fantastical seduction will always be there when reality becomes too much to bear. I know you will again turn to me for solace and I will be here, waiting. Always; my love.

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