Buggars
As a chronic gold digger in early grade school, specifically within my nasal passages, I excelled at locating awesome gooey gems.
The pinky seems most opportune for button nose of mine as most convenient handy implement to mine for juicy succulent wads of yuck.
Early academic experience helped me refine the delicate art of reaching for pitch perfect snot.
This individual craft essentially entails extensive dexterity in conjunction with recognizing ideal picking time.
If one plunges the little finger prematurely, nothing but a glob of gook will dribble out.
Best to wait until rock hard sensation felt when applying pressure to either nostril.
The consistency of rock candy the best analogy for this other than tasteful habit instinctively learned when being housed in the womb.
Upon birth one or more phalanges often solidly locked where mucus generated.
This common medical condition frequently requires delicate intervention (usually minor surgery) to separate the glued gummy intertwined proboscis with fleshy mitts.
As a natural born miner for the most moist and choice septum byproduct, this man as one gangly whipper snapper master the art of sifting thru the sinus cavity to extricate boulder sized buggies wrote the book on this ole factory chews.
Unlike many other young children who fancied this fun hunt for crusty crab cakes like formations as delectable treats, this grown man chose to paste them on the underside of his desk.
No particular strategy for affixing goop upon the underneath section of old fashion unit (whereby the top opened up and provided a dish like formation to store materials) motivated this daily cultivating for ripe buggies.
Within very few months, the front most section became quite thick with wads of buggies that quickly hardened into scaly coating displeasing even to my high tolerance for gross.
Since no preliminary measure took place to map out where to place the collection of daily glob, inevitable contact took place with aging dried out buggies that felt like molting shells of insects.
Nightmares eventually took place incorporating this scary goblin like creature (usually dripping with mossy slime), which sought out his insatiable hunger for…nasal dreck.
In these dreams, I tended to be honored with razor sharp fangs and dagger type fingernails.
The latter came in particular service to probe my Pinocchio- sized smeller with amazing ease to scrape practically to the brain (and perhaps some grey matter did get unintentionally removed) to appease the buggy monster.
Soon after waking up in a start from this nightmare (when the outsize still pitch-black), a blurry image seemed to dart thru away leaving soggy footprints closely resembling phlegm.
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