A Close Call with Stupidity

A Close Call with Stupidity

Just 26 days left in Vietnam and only 27 days left in the Air Force. Life is pretty damn good. It was a clear September day, although it had showered earlier. There was still a little rain water draining from the troughs, ground level gutters, that were installed all around the shop building to avert chances of interior flooding during heavy rains. After all, the shop area was full of electrical devices and equipment.

We did not allow smoking inside the shop building. Cigarette smoke can, over time, affect performance of electrical equipment, particularly equipment with relays and contact nodes. Not everything was solid state in those days. We kept empty coffee cans at the doorways to accommodate all smokers and our cigarette butts. There were lots of us in those days and the butt can areas were places for reasonably fresh air and a place to congregate outside the confines of the shop, make plans for the evening or just chit chat.

I was about to go in, so I took a drag off my Camel, put it out on my boot, and dropped the butt in one of the coffee cans. Just then, I noticed a small green snake in the trough in front of the door. Knowing we did not want snakes in the shop building, I used my government-issue mechanical pencil – about six inches long - to pick up the little fella. He objected with a hiss, so I quickly dropped him in a clean coffee can that had been left very recently. He did not seem to appreciate the surroundings, but I took him inside to show the others. Maybe he did not like the smell of coffee. There are odors that will repel snakes of most kinds. I placed the coffee can on the long work bench. Several of the guys came over to see the snake. There were a number of us trying to determine what kind of snake it might be. In the meantime, I had an almost new wooden pencil with an eraser and I was teasing the snake. It was becoming aggressive and was striking at the eraser. Keep in mind, my hand is just six or seven inches away. It was not until he began to “hood” like a cobra that I became concerned. Just then, our Vietnamese cleaning lady came to see what was so interesting to all of us. She took one look into the can, dropped her mop and raced out of the building yammering loudly and frantically in Vietnamese. She kept telling us to come out too. I asked her to come back in and explain. She would not do that. She was not returning to the building as long as the snake was there. Well, after all, she lived there and knew the surroundings. I called the pest control office.

When pest control folks arrived, the “retriever” was properly equipped and very careful. I told him about teasing it with the pencil and his eyebrows went up and he shook his head in disbelief. “That’s not too smart” he said. He told us that if it was “hooding” it was undoubtedly a venomous snake….just how venomous he did not know. He said they would release it in a rural area after they researched its species. You see, they do not kill critters in Vietnam, but try to avoid them. Those that are trapped are returned to nature. Anyway, he said he would call me with more information.

When the guy from pest control called with more information, he said, “You were lucky, pal. Have you ever heard of a three-step viper?” I responded that I had and he chuckled, saying, “Well….this is a two-stepper.” That did it for me. I had been less than five inches from quick death and was teasing it with a pencil. Boy, did I feel stupid. Although I have since found out that a bamboo viper’s bite is quite venomous and its bite quite painful, it is rarely deadly. The pain is intense for about 24 hours. In the meantime, the tissue in the bitten area quickly turns black and dies. The more venom pumped into the site, the more tissue dies. I know now that the pest control guy was just trying to teach me a lesson. Still, I have been very mindful of snakes ever since and avoid them at almost any cost. I know they serve a purpose in God’s creation, but I do not like them and am afraid of all of them…..kinda like spiders.

Comments