1001 Insults
Corona Virus pick-up lines...
I'm not looking for Prince Charming, I'm looking for Prince Charmin.
Fancy going out ?, I'll go Tuesday, you go Wednesday.
I'm just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot.
If I told you you have a nice body, would you pose it for the camera?
Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? No seriously, I can't tell from here.
1001 insults story...
I think I’m the only one of my friends who still keeps a diary.
When I was in middle school I was picked on.(ok, who wasn't - at some point)
I'd moved back to the US from overseas and I was a wasteland of cultural ignorance - you don’t want to be clueless in middle school.
Side note: The movie “mean girls” came out 16 years ago and it’s still the most relevant movie ever.
Well, my brother had the solution - he bought me a book called 1001 Insults. That book saved my LIFE.
I studied that book and before long, if someone made a snarky remark about me I DESTROYED them - I mean I started insulting them with machine-gun-like one liners like some vengeful stand-up comic.
Example: “You've got enough cotton in that bra to start a first aid station.”
It didn't take long before the word got around - don't mess with HER. Ha!
General...
I miss hanging out at 5 guys, with my friends and eating nothing but french fries and the Ulta store, where they have 40 gaZillion perfumes to sample.
You know why girls spend so much time on things like perfume, and makeup tips - like foundation colors and eye-shadow? Because girls believe what we hear and boys believe what they SEE.
I’m watching more TV in this lock-down and there’s one thing I can tell you. The hot guys in high school on TV - those aren't high school boys those are MEN. =]
School goes on (virtually) but I found I can put my laptop on our treadmill and do my classes AND my walking at the same time! Woot!!
I'm in the living room browsing Flipboard and I see: "TikTok introduces parental controls". "WHAT THE F**K??", I blurt out. *hand over mouth & looking around for mom*
We also got Disney + and I've been watching some classics like "Hannah Montana" and "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" and I think they hold up pretty well (considering I was what, 5?, when I watched them originally?).
Do we all miss friends - sharing physical space with friends? I've been Zooming and Face Timing like CrAzy but for some reason I can't name, I find myself getting short tempered and angry - for no real reason other than in some ways it's an empty experience. People talk about teenagers on screens but I don't think it's the screens they like - it's the socializing they like. It could be that when this lock-down is over teens may not want to do as much online socializing.
Don’t judge me for things I wrote 20 seconds ago - I’ve changed since then!
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