Its not easy being a penis. I have a head I can't think with, an eye I can't see out of, I live with 2 nuts, my closest neighbor is an asshole, my best friend is a pussy and my owner beats me all the time.
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Roses are red; Violets are blue; I want to stick, My penis in you
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Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his knee caps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: THAT'S, that's quite enough, Minstrel.
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The only bodily organ which is really regarded as inferior is the atrophied penis, a girl's clitoris.
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Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologise for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused.
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The fundamental impulse of the movement is neither masturbatory nor concretely lesbian -- although it of course offers warm house to both these possibilities; it is an impulse to maidenhood -- to that condition in which a woman might pretend to a false fear or loathing of the penis in order to escape from any responsibility for the pleasure and well-being of the man who possesses it.
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Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused.
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Dorothy MacMillian: “What are you looking forward to now ?” Madame de Gualle: “A penis” General de Gualle: “My dear, I think the English don’t pronounce the word quite like that. It’s not ‘a penis’ but ‘appiness’.
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God gave man both a penis and a brain, unfortunately he didn't give enough blood supply to run to both at the same time.
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With His penis like a chisel He carved the Pietà....
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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
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There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.
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Today an 80-year-old libarian broke my penis.
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