Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a-younga cristan man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: 'I wanta shit'. They tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'No,no I wanta shit in my bed'. They say: 'You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch'. What is sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: 'I wanta piss'. She tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'I wata piss on my plate'. She then say to me: 'You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch'.
That is the second person who do not even know me calla me 'sonna-wa-bitch', an why is your staff replying 'Go to toilet', is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me!
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanta fock'. And she tella me: 'Sure, everyone wanta fock'. I say: 'No,no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table'. She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!
How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner?
So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: 'Thank you and piss on you'. I say: 'Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I go back to Italy'.
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.
Sincerely
Dicci Elgre
|
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce The cuckoo clock.
|
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
|
It finally seems to have dawned on some of the England players that, if they are to beat the likes of Brazil, Germany, Argentina and Italy in a World cup, they need an iron manager to forge them into a team, not a nice guy to massage their inflated egos. The gooey love affair between coaches and players is coming to its inevitable end. Does Eriksson have answers? There are times when you have to wonder if this vague, distant albeit charming figure is really all that interested in finding them.
|
The Bell of Justice'. In an old city in Italy, its king had installed a bell in the public square. Anyone wrongly treated would ring it and get justice. After many years the bell rope rotted away so it was tied with a wild vine to make it longer. One day an abandoned/old/starving horse wandered into the square, took a mouthful hungrily of the vine... and the bell rang! The king hurried to the square and saw an old/thin/hungry horse and said he should have justice. He immediately summoned the owner and ordered him to look after his old horse, to give him good food and water, a proper stable and peace and if he didn't he would be punished! Justice was done and all the citizens felt their magistrate acted wisely.'
|
Every country gets the circus it deserves. Spain gets bullfights. Italy gets the Catholic Church. America gets Hollywood.
|
Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy.
|
There is confusion regarding the position of the External Affairs Minister. We are trying for the membership of the Security Council of the United Nation. The UN has set up a high-level enquiry committee, which found the involvement of some companies of Switzerland, Italy and India, and after that Singh gave a statement that he is being implicated for supporting Saddam Hussein's regime.
|
the San Marco Library, Whence turbulent Italy should draw...
|
Foreign diplomats in Rome disconsolately say, Italy is the opposite of Russia. In Moscow nothing is known, yet everything is clear. In Rome everything is public, there are no secrets, everybody talks, things are at times flamboyantly enacted, yet one understands nothing.
|
England is a paradise for women and hell for horses; Italy a paradise for horses, hell for women, as the diverb goes.
|
Opera once was an important social instrument -- especially in Italy. With Rossini and Verdi people were listening to opera together and having the same catharsis with the same story, the same moral dilemmas. They were holding hands in the darkness. That has gone. Now perhaps they are holding hands watching television.
|
Italy wants to help Albania to reconstruct the state and to have quick democratic, transparent elections,
|
There is, in fact, no law or government at all [in Italy]; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.
|
Italy is going to remain at the back of the performance tables. We should see a pick-up in growth this year, but it is coming off a very low base. It is a cyclical recovery rather than any kind of real structural improvement.
|
That's probably the greatest curling game in the history of Italy. You saw it. You just saw curling in Italy.
|
There is something majestic in the bad taste of Italy.
|
During my first month in Italy I lived a nomadic life.
|
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
|
A man who has not been in Italy, is always conscious of an inferiority.
|