The Addict and the Saint
Keep looking at your picture in my phone
The one you sent me when you were all alone
Pressing that screen to see that live video
Wishing you'd reach through and grab hold of me again
So fond of you but i don't wanna be your friend
We spent too many nights
naked and grindin, you bending me over
your essence on my skin
now i'm strung out like an addict
told myself you were just a bad habit
i couldn't deny it
once you ripped the needle from my arm it felt like i was dying
You went from bending me over
to saying it's over but i'm under your spell
I'll admit you bring out the worst in me
alter ego, that me they don't wanna see
I'm the church girl, the mother the professional
but you woke up that deviant no one knows
I'm not in love
just high off orgasms
and i still don't know what makes me higher
your mouth in my thighs or your mouth on my ear
you challenge my thoughts and my feelings
I just wanna stare at your lips and breath in your intelligence
See i know you did the right thing
this was getting too wild, almost frightening
but my alter ego is a control freak
she's not going down without a fight
she wants you, and she'll kill me to get you
so what do I do?
I'm a sex addict and a saint
don't know which me is more real
who's me and who ain't
i love God
i love sex
i love the sanctuary
and XXX
for a long time the other lay dead
then you came
then i came
alter ego resurrected
i feel so disconnected
but not defeated
if she wants a fight that's just what she'll get
I'm not ready to die
too many people rely on
the woman i am when i'm not under that man
Yea i know it sounds simple but the truth is it hurts
because the addict is still me so fighting her leaves bruises
on my head
on my chest
between my legs so many scars
and i want it to stop
can't we be at peace?
but the battle was never promised an end
it was promised to me if i endured till the end
so the fight is daily
the addict and the saint
i still long for your touch but the saint won't give up.
Copyright © Chanise Hannah | Year Posted 2016
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