The Vision: a Hallucination
My pain is constant and buried deep within my bones,
And in this darkness I am left alone.
The cartilage throbs and ceases to remain,
Yet I'm left in the silence with my pain.
And where water and trees once covered the land,
I saw desert unending amidst the sand.
A vision so real it resembled a time,
Where nothing but barren was left outside.
Where children felt pure and flew their kites,
I saw a crater so devoid of reason and light.
And a land so ridden of any sense of life,
And swallowed so deep within the blackened sky.
Where there was once a sun that gave us day,
I saw a black hole that overcame.
This vision held such a vital truth to me,
That inside my soul I had felt a peace...
It was a painting like this that reflected my life,
A vision so clear buried within my mind.
Yet you may feel my touch and sense my pain,
But my mind is simply somewhere far away.
My personality is as empty as your words.
I am fabricated, dissociated,
I am nothing but an illusion,
A reflection, an abstraction,
Of my sketchy unformed self.
Yet this vision that has overcome my mind,
Describes every last step I've plotted in life.
My lifeless actions and cold clammy skin,
The emptiness that sits within.
And even after an epiphany as this,
The life inside still ceases to exist.
And I gain no deeper knowledge of myself.
There are no subliminations,
There is no evidence of any kind of hidden meaning.
My personality remains vacant, empty, and unoccupied.
Yet I inhabit this human body,
And I share some of the same characteristics as a human being,
Such as flesh, bone, eyes and blood.
But there are no recognizable emotions,
No love, no guilt, no regret.
There is only pain,
A sharp, constant throbbing pain that never leaves my mind.
As if someone had slowly scratched their nails against a chalkboard.
I want this pain to be inflicted upon others,
I want no one to escape.
I want you to suffer in the way I do,
Every-time I wake from this deep, cold, unending nightmare.
I am nothing but an entity.
The sooner you accept this the sooner you will find peace,
In knowing and recognizing that,
I AM NOT THERE
Copyright © Nick Ruffolo | Year Posted 2016
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