The Tears of a Broken Man
I sat and cried
The bleeding wouldn't stop
I wanted to say I was sorry
But I had already made the cut
I convinced myself to stay strong
I would cut until I finished the job
First I destroyed that beautiful day
With sun on our faces
With water twinkling on your skin
I removed it like a surgeon
Cutting at it with a scalpel
Next I purged our careful promises
All of our careful plans
Not supposed to upset any but us
As a woodsman to a tree
I hacked at those until they fell
Then I sat once more and cried
Because that's when I realized
I wanted to die
Before I forgot about you
But I kept going
I had to get free
After I amputated our arguments
All of those hateful ages
Not helping either of us
I sawed back and forth
Like a master carpenter
Eventually I expelled my emotions
All that love and empathy
Still hidden within me
As a soldier to an enemy
I slashed and hacked my way free
Then I grabbed the razor
Maybe this will ease the pain
Maybe I can truly cut it all out
Maybe if I just cut deeper
But I was a coward and couldn't do it
And set the razor back down
I seared our secrets
Secrets we shouldn't have shared
Blackened until unrecognizable
A burning paper
Leaving nothing of what was there
I tried to forget you face
So there wouldn't be a trace
Just another body in the hall
An eraser in my mind
Slowly blurring you in my eyes
I sunk to my knees and bawled
I didn't move because I couldn't move
I didn't think because I couldn't think
All that was there was sadness
All that was there was nothingness
Then it all flooded back
The first day
The plans
The arguments
The emotions
The secrets
Your face
Everything that made us, us
I just want to sit and text you all day
To ask about your day
To help you threw the hard times
To be the one I can tell anything
And that's why I hate you
I hate your actions
I hate that I need you
I hate that you are my best friend
I hate that you are my person
I hate that you will always be these
I hate that I'll always love you
I hate that I can't hate you
Copyright © Nicholas Logan | Year Posted 2015
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