The Tears of a Broken Man

I sat and cried The bleeding wouldn't stop I wanted to say I was sorry But I had already made the cut I convinced myself to stay strong I would cut until I finished the job First I destroyed that beautiful day With sun on our faces With water twinkling on your skin I removed it like a surgeon Cutting at it with a scalpel Next I purged our careful promises All of our careful plans Not supposed to upset any but us As a woodsman to a tree I hacked at those until they fell Then I sat once more and cried Because that's when I realized I wanted to die Before I forgot about you But I kept going I had to get free After I amputated our arguments All of those hateful ages Not helping either of us I sawed back and forth Like a master carpenter Eventually I expelled my emotions All that love and empathy Still hidden within me As a soldier to an enemy I slashed and hacked my way free Then I grabbed the razor Maybe this will ease the pain Maybe I can truly cut it all out Maybe if I just cut deeper But I was a coward and couldn't do it And set the razor back down I seared our secrets Secrets we shouldn't have shared Blackened until unrecognizable A burning paper Leaving nothing of what was there I tried to forget you face So there wouldn't be a trace Just another body in the hall An eraser in my mind Slowly blurring you in my eyes I sunk to my knees and bawled I didn't move because I couldn't move I didn't think because I couldn't think All that was there was sadness All that was there was nothingness Then it all flooded back The first day The plans The arguments The emotions The secrets Your face Everything that made us, us I just want to sit and text you all day To ask about your day To help you threw the hard times To be the one I can tell anything And that's why I hate you I hate your actions I hate that I need you I hate that you are my best friend I hate that you are my person I hate that you will always be these I hate that I'll always love you I hate that I can't hate you