when you died
The wind blew thoughts of you to me today
I felt the day you went away.
The last breath in your lungs
After your final injection of bliss
The disease…your catalyst to an eternal cyst
Quietly suffocating you from the inside out
Not a word was spoken, not even a shout
Silence made a noise in the pages of your book
I decided I wanted to take a deeper look.
I know what the note said,
I know your internal fight
After all, it’s been mine too day and night.
But you were a soldier that was tired of the battle
You rode that fine horse without a saddle.
I remember the day we met in that sullen place
Where there was no time and there was so much space.
We played endless hours of checkers as you danced with my feet
Our souls were both empty but our hearts roots grew deep
And you listened for days about where I had been
All the pain in my life that was buried within
The white walls turned to colors as you spoke with such grace
You were an angelic being with a lovely face
Your long blonde hair was a golden delight
You were so precious to me and you were so bright
And years went by and I didn’t know if you remembered my name
When we came back together you were filled with so much shame
The needle had punctured more than your arm
It had deafened your ears and your spirit was gone
And I told you all I knew of the love from up above
But I had yet to learn it so it wasn’t enough.
I recall the time I broke in for you
Just to see your smile made life seem exciting and new
I hid scrapes of paper in all of your stuff
Inspiration for the days ahead that were going to be tough.
Than a few years later I got the news
That you decided to go on a permanent snooze
And you willingly took more than you should
So the demons would be silenced forever in you
But I bleed on the inside not knowing where you are
Are you a sun in the sky or a shooting star?
Are you dancing with angels or burning with demons
Are you bound by shackles or are you a fee man.
I will never know your final thoughts
The plague that feasters… the fear that rots
But I know I did love you with from the start
Forever you will remain a scar in my heart.
Copyright © Sabina Nicole | Year Posted 2017