As a new day arises, you are once again faced with that trenched alarm bell.
You open your eyes to feelings of emotional turmoil in the pit of your stomach, a remembrance of this living hell. There are too many thoughts spawning in that very moment, paranoia and voices within the depths of your head.That leads to your irresponsibility and lack of motivation, it's much easier for you to pursue another day in bed.
You feel you have no one you can trust, no one who understands your pain, distress.
Opening up fully to others makes you look vulnerable, disconnected and an uncontrollable mess.
So you struggle on with life, stating your fine to those of whom should dare to ask.
But you know time is an essence of revealing the truth behind your hidden mask.
You try different interventions as a strategy of coping, one of many being selfharm.
But how long are you able to keep this up before others notice the scars on your arm.
So you turn to alcohol, drinking yourself in to oblivion, continuing through to the following day.
Until the hangover kicks in and you realise you've spent the greatest majority of your pay.
Unfortunately it's your last as you've lost it all, family, job, everything that you are. Such a constant reminder as you are the only one left sitting at the end of the bar.
Is there an escape from this, hope relishing somewhere beyond the dreaded fear. It doesn't seem to be the answer right now, all you can see in front of you is a fifteen pack of beer.
It's all you have left, the one thing you look forward to, your only friend. You keep telling yourself this as you battle to diminish thoughts of how this will all come to an end. You see the problem is you know too well, you've watched your father for years in a similar situation, now fate has taken over and you have inherited the same genetic predisposition. You tell yourself you've no hope, dreams orca positive future, whilst deciding to end it all, before jumping in to your car. If only you had sought help, services, treatment available, you may never have let it get this far.
Now your kids are left parentless, due to this painful disease of the mind. And it's the responsibility of others to pick up the pieces of everything you have left behind.
So u see mental illness cannot be seen and is one of the hardest disorders to mend.
But if we join together as a community, we can save the lives of others by finally putting the stigma to an end. ??
Copyright © stacey trolan | Year Posted 2015