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Never Enough

Have you noticed I haven't showered in three days? 
Every hour, every minute passes in a haze. 
Have you noticed that my clothes are still the same?
I smell terrible, but I can't be ed to change.
Have you noticed that I'm quiet most of the time? 
Only when I'm around you, do I smile. 

Do you notice that I serve you in all of my minutes? 
Do you notice my annoyance when you push all my limits? 
Do you hear your own words when you're talking to me? 
You always speak as if I can't hear, as if I can't feel, as if I can't see. 

I hate the person I'm becoming, one who's not so loving. 
It's not easy to heal. 
Especially when my wounds
Seem to be all about you
And about everything that you feel

In my mind I have this image 
Of you that's not realistic 
And it's hard to lose you again
I'm struggling to survive now
I don't really know how 
When I cling to every word that you say

You stab yourself with your knives
Then blame it all on our lives
But I'm the one who has to hear
I wish that I could speak out 
But my voice is taken from me now
Keep quiet because you are near

I can never please you 
No matter what it is that I do 
You'll always find a way to be mad
Now I'm just surviving
While thinking of dying
Then maybe you'll finally be glad

Copyright © Amrita Griggs | Year Posted 2021

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