You'Re a Monster, Donny Dump
Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP
You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they all miss you,
though they tried so hard to keep you,
loving everything that you do,
eat up every word that you spew,
though each word of it is untrue,
Donny Duuuuump.
You’re a purple septic scab leaking a nasty orange ooooooze.
Up there on Wall Street, Donny Dump,
they reeeally loooved you toooo.
You’re as crooked as they had been
as obsessed with all the green.
Make them richer than they had been
cause you’re really one of them.
Just like your very own kin,
the endless money that they spend,
fools the public once again
the economy booms for them
Donny Duuuuump
You’re the featured orange freak show, at a midnight carnival of sleaze.
You astound me, Donny Dump
I caaant beliiive you’re realll.
Your so tiny shrunken brain
has most everything to gain,
as your test does well explain,
person, woman, camera, … plain.
Your stable genius would remain
if your head were full of grain
much more info you’d retain
but your head’s an open drain.
Donny Duuuuump
You’re a plate of writhing worms covered in orange-brown fecal sauuuuuuce.
You drug us all down, Donny Dump.
You suuuurely stomped us gooood.
You failed to make us great,
more like second or third rate.
With your penchant to dictate,
you spread your vicious hate.
All you do’s obliterate
institutions that restate
how our principles are great,
it’s America you hate
Donny Duuuuump.
You soiled the office, Donny Dump.
You reaaaly stunk it uuuup.
Said the swamp, you’d drain it clean
but stocked it worse than ever seen.
Filled it up with much obscene
and a double-dose of mean.
Papered the walls with demean
and a giant slice of spleen.
Treated the halls of power
like a carpeted latrine
Donny Duuuump
An 8-hour steel-wool scrubbing with Pine-Sol, bleach, and borax mixed with Comet, Ajax, turpentine combined with virkon, phenols, and thymol, suspended in vinegar, vodka, and peroxide couldn’t nearly get you clean!
You failed to steal it, Donny Dump.
Your deeeeal has noooow been seeeeealed.
You no longer have the power,
you grow weaker by the hour.
Now it’s you who can go cower
in your tasteless plastic tower.
You can lift yourself higher
self-copulating in the shower.
And if your mood has really soured,
they’ll find you a teen to deflower.
Donny Duuuuuump.
Have you seen "The Hudsucker Proxy", mister Dump? Why don’t you go to the very top floor of your tower, stand up on the end of a very long table, face the far end, take a sprinter’s starting stance, lift your head and say, “person, woman, camera, window”, put one foot forward then another, haul your lard-ass bulk down the table at ever-increasing speed and do a walrus dive, head first through the giant window, pummel 58 floors, kiss all our asses on your way, and leave the art of your final deal spread all over 5th avenue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ken Page, 11/20
Copyright © Ken Page | Year Posted 2020
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