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Below are poems written by poet Hatter Eggburn. Click the Next or Previous links below the poem to navigate between poems. Remember, Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth. Thank you.

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Ode to a toilet on a mountaintop

I climbed a mountain in a land of sun
Of epic landscape and of sweet cuisine
But scarecely had my lone ascent begun
Than woke a silent urge for a latrine

Too long must I have lingered at the wide
And bounteous smorgasbord in the hotel
Time came for that accounting from inside
That urge, first faint, now grew to gastric hell

Yet upwards still I climbed, in the vain hope
That somewhere on that rocky mountain range
A toilet would appear with towel and soap
And under that hard sun, my luck would change

Alas not so - on all those barren rocks
No trace of any building could I see
Only the birds and scattered alpine flocks
Of sheep or goats to keep me company

All hope was nearly gone - when on the crest
Of a high ridge - O joy to make one cry!
I saw my heart’s desire made manifest
A wooden toilet underneath the sky

Upon the hilltop, there it stood with pride
A simple box with hole and plastic seat
A pristine roll of paper at its side
I took my place, in happiness complete

At last the gastric turmoil could relent
At last the call of nature was obeyed
I did the deed without embarrassment 
Installed as king of all that I surveyed

It was a long-drop without flush or chain
After each movement - a short pause - then splash
How pleasant to relieve that nether pain
Upon that throne of wood - and pay no cash!

Copyright © Hatter Eggburn | Year Posted 2020


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  1. Date: 2/18/2020 7:16:00 AM

    LOL … the last line is a doozy!