Because I Live
I AM A Foster Child THAT FAUGHT AGAINST SOCIETIES STIGMA
In a world off track from thoughts like mine.
In a dream, rewinding back, are the hands of time.
In a place where I look to-and-fro,
searching for someone to save me from this low.
Trauma expressed through words unclear,
maturity followed in the rear.
I always push myself, digging up potential, and polishing a heart of good. Spoke to a voice of only wealth misunderstood.
Images, utmost despair,
surfaces just to tear me down.
Illusions, not even prayer, touch my lips, erase my frown.
A mother, does she understand?
A father, what is in his plan?
My guidance, do they set the tone?
All have left. AM I all alone.
To contemplate self-destruction,
I do not fit this world’s construction.
What must I do to change my views?
What leads me to the life I choose?
Dysfunction is a family trait.
So why is this something I hate?
Do I choose to rise above,
in hope to find something I love?
Will I be accepted then or will my voice fade in the wind?
A problem that I must not share,
although I want someone to care.
Concern’s a shadow. Will I heal?
My thoughts, a matter, unrevealed.
Why must I feel like I belong?
Does family stand proud and strong?
A parentage that lacks in splendor,
where growth of social skills is hindered.
Do peers bond with elite in homage?
Do they find traits they have in common?
Amidst the crowd, among the few,
where do I find myself, a new?
Puberty has scars that hide,
beneath the surface,
they are wide.
Does education have a place?
Is my life a total waste?
Will my plight become assuaged?
The answers, they’re not on the page.
I wander lost in my distress.
What does it cost to pass the test?
Feign contentment.
Leave not a clue.
A guise to keep my thoughts from view.
Shut out world to build a wall.
My folks astounded when I fall.
To focus on the problem’s core,
do I seek help from the Lord?
When pain’s too deep for thoughts to center,
Do I find a guide, a friend, a mentor.
A child-like faith is on the brim of confidence
found strong in her in light becoming very dim.
Intellect grows with nutrition developed
'till it meets fruition.
This is the hope that keeps me still.
It helps me cope and keep it real!
QUOTED FAVORITES :
“ Failure is not the OPPOSITE of success”,
ITS PART OF SUCCESS.
Copyright © Catalina Freitas-Estores | Year Posted 2023
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