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Glennerd Williams Poem
I carry the immense weight of potential with me.
I carry the knowledge that death exists, and that we are all born to die.
I carry the memory of every nightmare and doubt and sleepless night and restless day and dark morning and even darker night; I carry the strain of trying to see into a cloudy, uncertain future, a future filled with a form of destruction yet unknown to me. I carry the constant, unwavering and terrifying suspicion of never being good enough, of never improving, and of never reaching the stars that I yearn to be made closer to.
I carry passion.
I carry the obligation to be and make others happy.
I carry tears, both wept and unwept and the memory of sweat long ago perspired and the recollection of blood spilling, drop by drop, into a white porcelain sink, becoming less and less white as time goes on staining and corrupting the once pure and innocent and undisturbed white coloring.
I carry contradictory contradictions.
I carry the internal battle between happiness and sadness, making life both a constant state of ecstasy and a constant state of suffering.
I carry the weight of others. Within me I hold the experiences and insecurities and fears and dreams and thoughts and ambitions and logic and sympathies and opinions and emotions and souls of many, indiscriminately.
I carry a fear to love, but also a deep and primal and unexplainable need to love.
I carry the weight of my soul.
I am fortunate, however. As I carry others, others carry me. It is this sense of closeness that defeats the nightmares, and sleepless nights, and the restless days, and the dark mornings, and the doubt, and the fear, and the insecurity, and the vulnerability and the uncertainty, and the bitter feelings, and the sense of hopelessness, and washes away the bloody porcelain, and heals the wounds that sweat and blood and tears once leaked from and ultimately overwhelms the sadness with waves upon waves of relentless kindness and happiness, pounding on the door to my heart, determined to drive away the terror and longing and sadness and fear and feelings of inadequacy and leaving only light of the purest form, creating a new feeling- that of absolute and complete awe for the power of this closeness, for its ability to drive away the crushing weight of the void, and stop the contradictions from contradicting, and replacing this blank, empty space with the most essential and human parts of all of us.
This sense of closeness makes all of the weight worth it.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
The cool smack of ocean wind resounded across my unhinged jaw.
I swallowed the gust and tasted the salt of the water.
It mixed well with my bitter tears.
I cried out as I waded deeper.
The sea wept for me.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
I stared at her hair as it glistened in the light summer rain;
I watched as it twirled and leaped in the gentle breeze.
I admired the sway of her hips, and the way that the soles
of her feet rose and fell, all in rhythm with the bounce of
her step. I enjoyed the image her porcelain-like skin, as
well as the dark shadow that it made on the uneven pavement.
I smiled as she smiled, and frowned as she frowned. I wished
for a moment of recognition, for an instance of eye contact,
but all in vain. In the shadows I remained-
a specter,
both devoid of life and full to the brim with it. She passed me,
the image of her being so engrained in my mind that I saw her even
with my eyes closed.
I followed.
I approached her slowly, as one would a wounded animal, afraid
that she would escape the depths of my passion.
I was consumed.
I stared once again at her wet hair, still beautiful even in its lack of motion.
I admired her stagnant hips and the upturned soles of her feet. I touched
her doll skin. It felt not of porcelain, but cold paper. I smiled at her shadow.
I envied her blank, lifeless eyes.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
I awoke one day,
high in spirit,
with a bounce in my step.
I flew above the clouds,
above the sky,
bouncing throughout the abyss.
But as time dragged me through
this eternal eternity,
my bounce faltered, and I began to sink.
No longer could I touch the sky and stars,
instead settling for the feeling
of grainy dirt and hard wood planks
that encompassed my body,
a body that could bounce
no more.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
I can't wait to feel something
I can't wait to open my eyes
and see a thousand colors
ricocheting off the walls of my
marble prison.
I can't wait for the bloody porcelain
to be cleansed by the tears of angels.
I can't wait for this invisible burden to escape me;
for the weight of the world to once again be nestled
in the crook of Atlas's back.
I can't wait for joy; for the muscles in my jaw to
understand the conventions of this
unnatural world.
I can't wait for the day, for any day,
as I am tormented by the night-
the shadow and clouds of my mind paint dark streaks
across the sun and sky and stars.
I can't wait for the LED screen to crack,
for the artificial light to take its rightful place
in the graveyard of inhumanity.
I can't wait for my soul.
I can't wait for thin skin to crack
at the sound of a harsh word.
I can't wait for the universe to start;
I can't wait for it to finally end.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2019
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Glennerd Williams Poem
I stared out far into the milky fog,
desiring peace, but finding anger.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
Freedom of Self Date: 3.29.17
We advance, shackled to ourselves,
Believing in the grandeur of freedom.
The cartridge of war make a dull rumbling sound,
As a drum beat plays to the rhythm of falling men.
The acidic cries of enemies and friends elicit responses both
Mordacious and cheerful in nature, inspiring
The death knell to sound, as wizened men
Send the young and stupid to the grassy knoll.
They loiter under the earth, waiting for the meaning
Of their sacrifice to become apparent,
anticipating the lighting of their ashy pyres,
unaware of the trifle nature of their lives and souls.
Still the horn sounds, as enemies and friends horde the
Field, desperate for the chance to finally be free of their most corrupt enemy,
Themselves.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
The light of my life faded into the liquid night,
Losing its spark with a silent hiss.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
Here I lie,
Broken,
Strung out on the cracked pillar of yesterday,
Yearning to be made closer to tomorrow.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2017
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Glennerd Williams Poem
True terror taps
on my bedroom window.
I know that I have
no choice
but for a while I
remain
under the covers,
the air becoming
more and more stale
as my breathes become
deeper. And quicker.
The tapping is music and
rhythmic and present and
all in time with the frantic
beating of my own heart.
Somehow, it is all I hear.
The shadow cast
on the soft sheets
that my mother chose
leaks ink
and stains the place
where I pretend to
sleep.
I feel my blood
collect at my feet,
as if a magnet were
willing it down
through my body
and arms,
and from my face
the color dwindled.
The tapping becomes
more forceful,
but the sound exists
only in my ears and nose
and the space around them.
I keep my eyes closed
and choke on invisible
sand as the darkness
slides across the floor,
up the bed and onto
my chest.
I cower under the sheets,
but the weight is unmistakable.
Unimaginable.
Copyright © Glennerd Williams | Year Posted 2020
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