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Best Poems Written by Mike Youds

Below are the all-time best Mike Youds poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Star Whores

Obi Wan Kenobi
Said “dooby do be dobie”
He wasn’t one but nearly two
And didn’t know just what to do
In his brownie, Kenobi robe(y)

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Do Statistics Prove Anything?

It’s like this you see
9 0ut of 10 cat owners
like a little kitty (apparently I'm not allowed to use p   y - how droll)
4out of 5 dog owners 
like a bit of ruff
but only 4 out of 8 horse riders
like to mount a filly
50% of everything is only
half of what’s available
and 100% of most things is
far too much to handle
remember though with just 1 other
you can’t be in the minority
Q.E.D. 


How frustrating that single words are censored.  Not words like kill, maim, stab, 
torture, abuse, death, hate  though.  Once again, violence triumphs over mild 
innuendo

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Ballet

Ballet.
Dainty dancers
Anxious to impress
Men in tights, enchanting damsels in
Distress

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Red, Red Whine

If red wine were not red, I
Would probably be a Jedi
I’d use the FORCE 
With no remorse
Be that would Joda said I

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Bridge Work

Extractions are cheaper than fillings
But the dentist went mad with the drillings
So alas and alack
And a bucket of plaque
 It cost me two quid; forty shillings!

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Scan Der Navy An

“In Sweden”, our host did proclaim
“We all eat a whole lot of game
Not chicken or goose
But reindeer and moose
And we eat it with no sense of shame”

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Masters of All?

Oh yes, we have a right to be here to exist
This world of course belongs to us
The human race that came from the mist
And oh so proud of our genius

But think about it, think it through
Given our talent for destruction
Do you really think that’s true
Or should Nature start her deconstruction?

So tell me why we are deserving
So perfect, worthwhile and unique
Exactly why we’re worth preserving
Please be precise, explicit; not oblique

You see it’s just that my contention
Is we have no special right at all
We are simply one part of creation
Pride comes first and then the fall

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In a Stew

Sent a limerick to Poetry Soup
The content quite frankly was “poop”
But the urge for to pen one
And courageously send on
My scribbles, is oh such a hoot!

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Ivories

I’ve a serious inkling to thinking
Which I do in the morning whilst tinkling
Oh no!  What is this?
Is he talking of piss?
“No, just playing the piano,” said winking

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T'Talking

I’ve an inkling to stutter and stammer
In an effort to subjugate grammar.
For although I love words
I adore the absurd
Punctuated, pauses; tend to, enamour.