Home » Poems » Best » Diet Water » Best Diet Water Poems

Best Poems Written by Diet Water

Below are the all-time best Diet Water poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Diet Water Poem

Basketball

I tried playing basketball
but i suck 
everytime i try to shoot the ball someone ducks
i guess my aim is off i might need glasses
because everytime i shoot the ball something always crashes
i don't know why i'm bad at this game
it's kinda like a race
until i go to shoot then i hit the ref in the face
they kicked me off the team then i got real sad
but it's ok that ref had a reason to get mad
i was walking down the hall and then i found a dime
and then thought maybe i'll try soccer next time.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Clock and Hoes

I'm a farmer 
and i like clocks and hoes
get your mind out of the gutter
i'm not talking about those

i use my hoes to get what a need 
whether it's a new car or a fancy tv

i was short on money 
so i put my hoes out for rent 
but then i had to stop when a
couple came back bent

stop bending my hoes i said 
then he threw a rock 
so i went out there and i beat him with a clock

then he asked me what time is it
then i said it's time to leave
and when he got up he got stung by a bee
and then he flipped out and ran into a tree
then i grabbed one of my hoes and said 
i'm glad it ain't me.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Doorjob

I need the handyman to come give me a doorjob
my door don't lock so i might get robbed
it's annoying and always squeaking
everytime it rains or storms it gets weakened
i don't wanna have to go to the store
i'll be the only guy carrying a door
so this guy needs to come fix my door to my house
i'll kick him out if he shows up in a blouse
so the guy came to fix my door 
he fell through the floor
i don't know what to do 
i think i'll move

Details | Diet Water Poem

Thongs On Fire and Other Storys

my thong is on fire 
i'm up for hire 
but no one will 
so i started selling pills
i needed the cash
but then somebody found my stash
it wasn't even drugs just mashed up smarties
so no one's gonna be getting high at their parties
this life is just way to sad
that's why i decided to move in with my dad.

Details | Diet Water Poem

French Fry

I'm glad that tator tot is out of my life 
but then i seen a french fry
and then i said it can't be true
i started to wonder what can i do
so i went out for the night 
the french fry was chasing me on a bike
and when i seen it i said this doesn't make sense
then he rammed me into a fence 
and then he came and punched me in the eye
and when i thought i just might die
i realized what i must do
i ate the french fry and then i puked
so i went home to my wife i'm glad that french fry is out of my life.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Deer Logic

Deer logic doesn't make any sense 
they hear one noise and they run
until a truck hits them then there done
it's really dumb
there worse than raccoons
you think i wanna see your dead body
on the side of the road
i would rather constantly stare at a toad
so just stop running into the street
or a big truck will give you a treat.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Tater Tot

i have little tater tot
til it talks crap and gets shot
i eat it then get really sad 
and then comes back and beats te crap out of me because it's mad
so i went and got drunk at a bar 
and when i left i got hit by a car
and then i got up to run 
it was clear he wasn't done
he came and beat me with a bat 
and then  got up and got mauled by a cat
and as i was laying there half alive 
i seen my tater tot and started to cry 
and them i ate it then it died
a and then i went home to my wife 
im glad that tater tot is out of my life

Details | Diet Water Poem

Street Fighter

There's this weird guy that nobody knows
he just sit's there all day and punches the road
i asked him
why do you punch the the road 
and he just looked at me 
then punched me in the nose
and then he went back to punching the road
he punches the road day and night 
almost like he's in an actual fight
so people just leave him alone 
because he's just a man who punches the road.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Good Times

people get mad at me when i say good times
and then i start getting pelted by dimes
and then i get arrested for crimes 
and i still said good times
i think i can rap 
but i'm really crap
people tell me i suck
and that is just luck 
but then i stutter 
and eat some butter 
and sometimes i start 
to fart
a dart 
while riding in a cart
and then i like to get naked with jack
people say thats wack
but it's not like we do things 
but he did buy me a ring
so i punched him in the face 
he ran to first base 
and said were over 
so i smacked him with a clover
and sent him to dover
i went to my mom 
her name is dom
she is really calm
she likes lip balm
she gets cuts 
on her buts
and i think she likes it
i tell her its weird when she starts to bite it 
all my friends call me craptrap 
especialy when i start to crap
this is the end 
as i start to bend 
and even though i like to right after this i might start a fight.

Details | Diet Water Poem

Troubled Tuna

i happen to be the owner of some troubled tuna 
always drinking and doing drugs
sometimes they get desperate and try to smoke bugs
there the troubled tuna they can't break the habit
i'm more proud of my pet rabbit 
he wins medals and cash
but my trouble tuna 
always selling there bodies
so they can buy a stash 
i don't know what to do
they seem to far gone
that's why i did what a good owner does
and threw them back in the pond
i haven't seen the tuna ever since that day
so i'm glad that those troubled tuna finally went away.