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Alison Wonderland Poem
He disappears again. Can't say that I'm surprised
I know he thinks when he comes home, that hell be chastised
But I won't say a word cause I'm all out breath
Sick from pacing round in circles like I'm high on meth
I know it's pointless to try to talk to you
So many promises, so little follow through
With words, there's no denying, you're the master
But what starts as hopefulness, ends in disaster
There's this place for you, I made inside of me
Cut a hole inside my heart where only you would be
Safe and protected, by my love so strong
I thought you'd never leave but baby, I was wrong
You walked away from me, you left so long ago
Now that part of me? It's dark and hollow
Tried to replace you but nothing fits the hole
Sometimes your body's here but it's missing the soul
And I've laid awake, so many nights that I lost count
You've taken so much, I lost track of the amount
All the times I needed you and you were absentee?
Why can't you go back to who you used to be?
But I can't change a man who never even was
The jokes on me. Clap clap, applause.
You fooled me once so shame on you
Fooled me 5000? Shame on me too.
And even as I write this rhyme
I know I'll never find the time
To tell you that I've had enough
To just get out, to pack your stuff
I know that when you do come back
You'll say you're sorry, you went off track
And then you'll string words one by one
Til I'm enchanted by the phrase you spun
I'll wear your lies like fine jewelry
And we'll both live blissful in foolery
Copyright © Alison Wonderland | Year Posted 2014
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Details |
Alison Wonderland Poem
Theres this knawing in my tummy
A burning in my ear
I feel your presence next to me
Yet you are hardly here
I'm not sure when it happened
but now it's crystal clear
Though your body's in the room
Youre vacant. --Insincere
I wonder- was it worth it?
To throw it all away?
All the things you squandered
to keep the pain at bay
All the things you had to pawn
just to get you through your day
Traded growth for comfort
Traded gold for hay
And I don't think you'll ever realize
the person you used to be
Now on a quest with no direction
In drunken ecstasy
These thoughts so sick and twisted
They make me want to flee
Spinning round in circles
A pirate lost at sea
I wish that you could see it
the way I clearly do
Suddenly I wonder
Who am I talking to?
Look around one last time
There's no one here. It's true.
And that is when reality
finally does come through
I see it there in front of me
A reflection in a mirror
I know it now for certain
Death is creeping nearer
I poor myself another drink
I hold my poison dearer
Then anything I've ever held
Reality becomes much clearer
I know I'll never break away
from this cage I built
It's destiny to end it here
There's nothing left but guilt
So I gently shut my eyes
And pray I'll quickly wilt
I look for one last sign of comfort
Grab tight to my quilt
The one my mother gave to me
on her final day on earth
She died too from the bottle
Pitiful, without self worth
I set a lonely fire with a lonely match
I watch it slowly flicker as I lay by the hearth
There was never once a chance for me
Doomed from the day of birth
Copyright © Alison Wonderland | Year Posted 2014
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