Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
I stripped down to my skivvies
Revealing all flab
Something is sagging
I think it's my BALLS
MAN! am I bummed
Can't examine the rear
Who would laugh
but the kids drinking beer
Their's are nice and firm
While ours is dragging skin
The bulge on my weenie
is old age coming in
When I go to the john
the diaper is smelly
especially the parts
that connect to the belly
When worse comes to worse
My uncle makes house calls
To the old and weary
geezers with sagging balls
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
As I was driving to work early morn
The Police and Fire fighters were cleaning their horn
in Preparation of a Certain Alert
Evacuation exercises while the Hunks take off their shirt
DUCK AND COVER:The Best of DVD has hit the store
To take you back to the MISSILE CRISIS before
You and Sally will be laughing on the floor
And then..MR CLEAN will wipe the debris off the door
Crime will heed to the Political greed
Mother Nature won't be bothered indeed
The "after-effects" will fade after a few million decade
Deorderent of choice:a Few billion cannisters of RAID
Momma is upset at the current STAGE 2 alert
She didn't have a chance to get ready for work
papa is filling his gut with morning beer
He knows it is wise to drink up while it's here
Turning to the Sports section just one final time
and then the BIG BANG as the Desperatos cross the Line
The children's corpses are still on their bed
Radioactive creepy crawlers have taken them by the head
Outrage
Chaos
Mayhem ensues
No more Katie Curic and the 6:30 evening news
Before I die,of Certainty this night..
One last Hurrah
to Hear Eric Clapton play the blues!
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
I am small
and gaining WEIGHT
from the chips that I had ATE
Just around the BEND(I can barely do that,FRIEND)
Gut around the MIDDLE while my nephew tells a RIDDLE
Exploding sudden GAS ,it came from my rotund ASS
Chicks no longer LOOK at this unsightly SCHNOOK
as I eat my TWINKIE,the underoos are getting STINKY
What do men and women FEAR-besides an enema to the REAR?
unbearable stomach SIZE of a fatso that we DESPISE
Mother wants to give son TREAT by buying hamburger,Burger King SWEET
Dom Deluise has shown me the WAY to get more pound and flab
by expanding every DAY
Spaghetti and a MEATBALL to placate hunger and it's tasty CALL
Love handles is a feeling WHICH..
I quite fear,
life can be an unfair -ITCH!!
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
Prescribing a pinch of INFERNO
Add a mg of TNT
A Bomb a day will keep Eden far away
DEATH always cures the sinuses
SLEEP,DREAM,PRAY,SCREAM
And when you wake up
Mommy will give you a touch of NUCLEAR ICE CREAM
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
everywhere I try to walk
The cement is dirty
With the most outrageous talk
Slang here
F YOU's there
Mothers on the street
Obscenities everywhere
The thrill is lude
Trying hard to be rude
I am a Hyprocrite nitwit
it's so easy to conclude
The Cross around me
But my mouth needs some soap
Heckling and swearing
How can my ideology hope to cope
My own word
a cursory absurd
when will I sleep
and people stop calling me a nerd
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
We position the Taepo Dong I
on your friendly city
A press of our little Red button
it will soon be gone,what a pity!!
One arrogant Man has challenged
us with his AXIS OF EVIL brand
We're not allowed to have but one
But his country keeps a million
under their American Sun
DOUBLE STANDARD HYPOCRITE
There is no trust if you hug yours next to it
If "The Rogue Nations" as you say
"Give It Up",will you turn and blow them away?!
We must gamble to ensure the sake of our own survival
Judging us for a questionable sin
WHERE'S YOUR PROOF before our country caves in
Sanctions to starve our children
Hope in living is by selling "THEM" the fuse
You keep a few and more
Close at hand and right next door
If our nation choose to reply
Then you must eliminate your arsenal or many will surely die
That is how trust can be won
Moving and testing our Nuke
We have no choice but to Taunt and spook
Words from the wise
Remember them
before you send yours near our skies
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
Boy! am I a Lard
The Belly is soft with a flab
where once it used to be firm & hard
My appetite is eating just about every day
Sagging abs and the unsightly make way
French fries and mcnuggets on my plate
Looking for Ring Dings after a hardy meal I just ate
Love handles all around
The expanding waist,
after an unpleasant flatulent sound
The sound of opening Coca-Cola
And the M&Ms that I keep in my drawer
lets me off easy
I am filling up with The Doritos that's cheesy
Content with a junk food pleasant scent
Exploding gases which smell
and the 2nd coming of my very own movement
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
Twirling around and around in the Night Sphere
Creepy eyes that scream out for a Partner in Loungerie
Two
plus 2
6 and then Twenty
The Boogeymen of the night
Catching the souls of the departed in flight
Sending them to the loneliest corner of Hell
With a Dunce Cap on every head that read:
HERE YOU ARE STUPID..AMONG THE ZOMBIES AND THEIR DEAD
A quiet empty trio of fools who did not play it cool while they were alive
Who refused to submit to the booze,the Pot,and all that Open Up Jive
Sweethearts on the dance floor where the Dead party all without a smile
Takes us back to that Halloween Trick or Treat town,at least for a little while
Mothers swing their Fathers
The Grim Reapers do their do-si-do
Harper Valley 1-800-NEXT-OF-KIN
Biting Teeth on a Harker Jonathan
Sipping blood with a grinning Mina
She is lovely in that shade of dead
Vein vessel blood all around her neckTAR and thy Head
Here in the ram shackled Studio 50 for DEAD
Dancers are the Boogeyshoes
With one eye alive and the other socket popped out
Sleep Deadly tonight Beneath the full moon and the Tango of cold Harvest Fright
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
Each day that I get up and greet the new dawn
Posing at the mirror,first..to see what changes have been going on
My eyes cannot look at what lies before me
55'waist on a 5ft 7 frame
These hands reach into the old treasure chest in the closet
I open it up and there before me is
A Superman comic(circa 1986-A CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTH crossover)
12 vhs tapes of STAR TREK,the original series(courtesy of Paramount Pictures)
An E.T.The ExtraTerrestial costume that mom made for me
and of course,the most treasured possession of all:
A FRUIT-OF-THE-LOOM jockey short that I wore throughout Freshman and
Sophomore year in High School
The DIRTY jokes that my Classmen used to tell
Old and disgusting chewing gum sticking to the toilet bowl with this note:
BERNIE&CHRISTINE,SITTING UP ON THAT TREE..K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
I hold up that smelly jockey garment from long ago to my expanding waist
Now I do know WHEN and WHERE the years did go
too much partying with the cubicle nerds
PAPA GINO'S and A&W root beer just lying around for some aging X'er to take
a bite and a gulp
Every night before I trot off to sleep,the hemorrhoids keep acting up
disturbing the many custard pie remnants that exhale from the behind
Mother told me that too much of that would be Dangerous,sickening,and unkind
I can't help it if I do not want to let go of my young appetite,as yet
Creatures from the old yearbook,Ravishingly young and wile
It brings forth a pleasant memory and before I am off to dreamland
This face offers up,one more juvenile smile,from yesteryear
GOOD NIGHT
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2007
|
Details |
Bart Jonas Poem
(chanting)
Atom Atom Nuclear Atom
See the evil in continent stratum
Folly Folly Mankind's Jolly
Come to end my daughter Holly
Nova Nova dear planet Johovah
destroying utterly my Irish Clover
Sinner Sinner despot Winner
After explosion he will eat his dinner
I,I, I cannot cry
To feel no emotion before we die
(end chant)
Why do we want to explode our waste
to leave upon this planet such sour taste
Mothers and their children
Fathers in their Ferraris
Farmers cannot plant
Animals will never again graze
They would be nothing except
An ash in piles courtesy of that Purple Haze
Lovers no more
Remnants of my Uncle's General Store
There is nothing to be found
Just a billion skeletons rotting on the ground
Copyright © Bart Jonas | Year Posted 2006
|