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Kylie Routley Poem
I sit at the window
and watch the rain fall
as the puddles grow bigger
and my heart just grows small
I pushed all my feelings
way too far down
so they can't be let go
and I can't make a sound
I wish I could cry
or just tell a friend
and maybe my pain
will all come to an end
but my eyes will not cry
and my mouth will not speak
the feelings that torture me
inside, so deep
I need a release
so I just watch the rain
that's crying my tears
and releasing my pain
forget all that hurts me
that I've kept all inside
and focus on the puddles
gathering rain while I hide.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2006
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Kylie Routley Poem
Through troubled times of struggle, hearts were muddled, I'd dissemble,
I'd drop your hand, chest buckles, you withstand and reassemble,
you've restored so many times what I've tore down, disassembled...
you understand my loss, first hand, "I love you", your lips trembled.
Though record shows my deeds forgo your love, you're more than gentle,
refused the bounds of apprehension, tension disassembled,
unleashed affection, your devotion, yet emotions tremble,
there's something uncontrolled, it has a hold within, it's mental.
Your intuition, my acts of indecision, temperamental,
propriety, on my behalf, falls way short of monumental.
Your heart permits my love, undeserving, unconditional,
though reservations pull back elation, unpredictable.
I promise you my heart, my spirit, it's unequivocal,
you complete the parts of me I thought were integral.
Burdens, troubles, tension, dissension, all now invisible,
all replaced by exuberance I once thought was mythical.
Trepidation, dread, fixation on perceived forged fictionals,
bring forth false truths expected to be unpredictable.
Look forward, opened heart and eyes, keep close what's fundamental,
I understand your fear, first hand, "I love you", my lips tremble.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2013
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Kylie Routley Poem
I'm all alone
though everyone's here
I'm trying not to cry
'cause no one will hear
they're not going to listen
to what I have to say
because they don't care
they're all the same way
I have to do something
to end all this pain
that I've kept all inside
I'm going insane
this is all your fault
but soon you'll pay
and know how it feels
to lose me this way
I can't wait to go
and see what they do
when they find the note
then they can blame you.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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Kylie Routley Poem
Lonesome, sustenance impaired,
Whispers echoed, undeclared,
Overlooked and unprepared,
Caught off guard, I thought you cared.
Regarded gone, inanimate,
Benevolence inadequate,
Self destruct, abandonment,
My ego, my antagonist.
Recreant, my feet retreat,
Unable to admit defeat,
Tenebrous, distant concrete,
Starlight shows abyssal streets.
Breezes flurry overhead,
Strands are stirring 'round my head,
My minds museful heed misread,
Wet streams down cheeks of words unsaid.
Legs fixed in place eternally,
Sunrise peaks beauty fervently,
Night's thoughts now an absurdity,
Abstain death's fall, uncertainty.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2014
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Kylie Routley Poem
The skies above me falling down
No place to go to escape from it
Sometimes I wish it would just go away from my life
I’m lying out under the clouds
I’m sleeping through all my precious time
I used to waste my time dreaming of leaving this place
(Now I only waste it dreaming of home)
Chorus:
Turn upside-down and turn down the sky
All of the clouds rain the tears that I cry
And all the pain that fills me up will go away
Like the snow in the spring
The skies above me falling down
No place to go to escape from it
I used to waste my time on…
Waste my time on…
Waste my time dreaming of leaving this place
(Now I only waste it dreaming of home)
(Chorus)
I’ve got nightmares
While moonlight shines through my open window
I’ve got nightmares
While moonlight shines through my open window
I lay awake
The skies above me falling down
(Chorus)
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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Kylie Routley Poem
I see your reflection
you're sitting on the floor
all curled up in the corner
behind the bathroom door
I hear short, soft sobs
while you look into my eyes
in me you see the pain
that caused yourself to cry
you reach for a tissue
and as do I
and while you bring it to your face
I too, bring one to mine.
I don't quite feel the hurt
that you are going through
but I sympathize your pain
and so I cry for you.
I'm the only one you talk to
you think no one else will care
this world is dark and cold,
lonely and unfair.
I'm your one and only friend
and that I'll always be
and I'll never turn my back on you
'till you turn yours on me.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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Kylie Routley Poem
I love his eyes
at times they're almost gray crystals
glistening and flickering
white-blue pillows
They seem to absorb
the paper he's scribbling on
with such haste
his freckled arm moves over the tabletop
frustration on his face
he has no idea I'm watching him
he rests his forehead
in the palm of his hand
his fingers through his hair
I love it when he's like this
deep in thought
trying to make sense of these complexities
in his mind
because he's too stubborn to do it on paper
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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Kylie Routley Poem
lonely,
my voice echoing
in my ears
while my mouth remains silent.
No one will listen
because no one cares.
They ignore my being,
my existence.
They treat me like I'm already dead,
so I try to make it come true
but I'm too much of a coward.
I stare into darkness,
the stars providing little light
as the breeze slightly blows my hair
and freezes my tears to my cheaks.
I never know how long I stand there
until I see the sun rising
and I realize the beauty
of the new day.
If the sun never
would have rose,
if I never would have
heard the bird's song,
I probably would have jumped.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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Kylie Routley Poem
I'm trying to listen,
to just listen to the music,
but all I hear is you,
whispering to me,
saying those sweet words,
the ones I now only hear in my dreams.
While I sleep
I see you
standing there,
telling me we can still be friends,
but that means nothing to me.
I try to hold back
the tears,
but all I do is cry
into my hands
running,
running away,
far away
to wherever there's nothing
to remind me
but there's no such place
so I'm trying,
trying so very hard
to just listen to the music.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2009
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Kylie Routley Poem
Why do you push me?
is it because
you know that
I'm already so close
to the edge?
I can only
go so far
before I fall off,
but maybe
you already know that.
Maybe
you want me
to fall,
to be crushed,
to die
on the jagged rocks
below.
Maybe you
want to see
my blood
dripping from
my heart,
bleeding from
my eyes,
just like the tears
you cried
for me.
Or maybe you
don't want
me to fall,
just to be so close
to the edge,
so very close
so that
maybe
you can rescue me.
Maybe
you just want me
to go back
to that place
where
our love exists,
or at least
once existed,
if you even
want to call it
love
at all.
but I won't go
back.
There's no way.
We had nothing but
meaningless words
and lying
hearts but
it wasn't our fault.
It was everything
around us,
inside us,
and even above us
looking down
on us
not meaning
a thing they do
to us
but not knowing
that they're
doing
so much,
which is probably
just like you
right now,
not knowing that
I'm so very close
to the edge,
about to fall off,
to lie on the jagged rocks,
bleeding because you
pushed me
just a little too far.
Maybe you really
don't mean it,
you don't mean a thing
you do to me that
hurts me at all.
Maybe you just
don't care
anymore.
Maybe I'm the one
holding on
to what should be
let go of.
Maybe I don't know
anything anymore.
Maybe
the whole world
is trying
to tell me to
listen,
to understand,
to wake up to
what is going on.
Maybe I just
don't want to
wake up.
Maybe I want
to stay in my
dream world.
It's definitely better
here.
Out there you never know
what to think,
believe,
or who to listen to
and to trust.
Maybe I'm
not cut out to live
in this world.
Maybe I really don't exist.
Maybe YOU don't exist.
Maybe I just made
you up.
You're an excuse
for me.
Maybe there's no one
pushing me but
I'm just walking
willingly,
or maybe even
running
toward the edge,
or maybe
there really is
no edge at all.
Copyright © Kylie Routley | Year Posted 2008
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