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Tammy Heckman Poem
Dear Mom and Dad,
Please don't weep for me,
I am not lost to you.
I am just in heaven,
not far from you two.
I will look down upon you everyday,
with my heart full of love an peace on my face.
Shed tears of sorrow,
for the loss you feel
because the pain in your heart is very real.
But know it is now God's face I see,
the blessed wonder that It be.
You guided my hand,
You showed me the way.
I'm sorry your heart is broken on this very day.
Know that I am with you,
and I love you still.
Smile for the life I led,
and the love I shared.
For my life was good,
because you cared.
Your Loving Child
Copyright © Tammy Heckman | Year Posted 2006
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Details |
Tammy Heckman Poem
I was innocently playing around one day,
when along came a man who told me his name.
I wasn't scared for this man I knew.
He took me in his arms and held me close for a few.
In my ear he whispered, "I love you."
A smile plastered on m face, I whispered back, "me too."
The safety I felt shattered at my feet,
as this man I loved made me a treat.
He started with a kiss, this was true,
But it wouldn't stop there--somehow I knew.
He reached down and touched my breast.
My tears fell down my cheek as I waited for the rest.
Next, his hands were between my legs.
I was paralyzed by fear at this stage of "play".
"Where is my Mother? My Father? My Brother? Those I trust?"
My heart has broken, now I'm crushed.
I waited forever as he did what he wanted.
This friend, this father, this uncle, this brother.
No longer a man, but now a monster.
Holding me down, doing what he will.
I'm trying very hard to be perfectly still.
I'm so little, made smaller by Him.
"When will this be over? When will it end?"
Each second an eternity, as the pain just begins.
"What is he doing with his 'thingy'? Why is he putting it in?"
I'll never be bad or do wrong again! What did I do to deserve this sin?"
It's all my fault! I know it is!
My mom will blame me because the sin isn't his
What did he pick me to change forever on this day?
Think of your dolls, your bear, your toys.
But whatever you do, don't make a sound."
The smell of his breath, his cologne, his hair.
I want to scream at him, but I don't dare.
I'll never forget this day, this time, this now awful place.
"Thank God he's done! NO! DON'T! He did. He kissed my face."
"This is our secret. Tell no one else! They wouldn't understand!
They can't see your a little woman, and I'm but a man!
I don't want to hurt you, but if you tell,
I'll make your life a living hell!
No one will believe you! No one will care!
So speak your mind--If you want--if you dare!
I'll kill your family! I'll kill your dog!
You will be punished for your dialog!
I will tell them you're crazy. You're going nuts.
There's no one you can tell! No one you can trust!"
He's done what he did, and now he's gone.
This secret is too big, I can't keep it alone.
I'll tell my mother, but not on the phone.
'Mom!' I called. 'Mom!' I cried."
With a heavy heart and tears in her eyes,
she lifted her shoulders and let out a sigh.
Copyright © Tammy Heckman | Year Posted 2006
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