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Raul Gonzalez Poem
life is too short,
to be wasting it,
reading a poem like this.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
I am made of death, life, death again, and everything inbetween...
the laughs the smiles and feelings yet to be seen...
I am made of hate and anger and things that reach obscene...
I am made of blood & tears and all my fears,
overgrown and renamed throughout the years...
I am made of culture, wisdom and background,
set in stone for me to be, way before I was even born as me...
I am made of what you call "poor," and others "rich."
subjective from person to person,
no telling where is which...
I am made of girls who've played me
and the girls i've played.
Friends who've saved me and friends betrayed...
I am made of being lonely in a world of billions,
and being content in a room of one...
I am made of my virginity and the day that it was no longer mine...
I am made of memories subconscius,
and those who harrass my mind.
That is what I am made of
and with that I am fine.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
You are an Altruist.
You: ‘selfless because you give”
You Put others in front of you.
Agree with all else’s point of view? You are better than me because of this?
You shun me and call me an egotist?
I am. I am the creator.
Without others, you are nothing. You need others.
Without me, you are nothing. You need me. If To make and create for one’s own self is bad, Then what is it exactly that you so selflessly give away?
Would it be, that without me, You’d have nothing. We’re taught to admire the second-hander who dispenses gifts he has not produced, above the man who made the gifts possible.We praise an act of charity.We shrug at an act of achievement
I am the creator. No. not a recluse. Not selfish.
I am the creator. Non-conformist. Independent.
You? You’re a second-hander, an imitator, dependent
I think. I Judge, I act, I feel.
You, you look around to see what you will, think, say, and feel.
I am the creator.
Without me, you’d have nothing to give.
I am the Egotist
I am the achiever, I am the inventor, I am the salmon, in a society’s current.
I am…The architect…
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
Have you ever heard of Raul?
“yea he’s cool, he’s straight. Goofy’
Have you ever heard of me, I'm Raulito.
You always seem me. Not Raulito.
“don’t front, be you do what you do”
Why? Are you worth it, why should you see me.
He’s’ shallow, conceited, and horny.
If that’s what you say then I tell you that you don’t know me.
He’s the guy whose loud, outgoing, & wont shut up.
But even you, you don not know me.
He’s the guy whose nice, smart, a wholesome,
But even you. You do not know me.
You see, talk, & even touch me,
You do not know me.
You may kiss, feel, or even raise me,
You do not know me.
I am red sea deep.
And have more goals than Beckhamm.
I have secrets to keep,
& ideas to dream.
I am not what you all see,
But I am not ashamed of me .
I’m the guy that always asks why?
Where, when or how,
If you don’t believe that then just ask around.
I’m the guy that confronts the facts on a daily basis.
And to you my questions are stupid and pointless.
But to you. To you.
So I may come off as stupid and slow,
But I assure you that I have more brains than you’ll ever know.
So don’t judge me,
don’t, look, talk, see, or even hear of me and judge me.
Why? Why all of this envy
Towards me. Why me. I have nothing.
Get off me!
You don’t know….me!
I’m full of pain, anger, guilt, and sorrow,
that’s nothing to envy. If you want that take it I don’t want it.
You don’t want it.
So no act, or play is put up when my alarm wakes me up.
It is just that some skeletons,
Aren’t biodegradable,
They just wont melt away,
I can’t just walk and start all over,
I cant just run away.
So don’t judge me. Not me.
And don’t envy . Trust me.
For I am red sea deep.
and ever high as Everest.
I am the asymptote which you will try to reach and never succeed.
no one will ever catch me.
For I am red see deep
And will always be just out of your reach.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
to be born is...
to flip your hourglass,
and count-down to death.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
today, I die.
Don't Cry, this is the way it is. Don't cry, it's ok.
I'm ready. it's so different, when you know you have to go. everything seems so...so pointless. All I ever stressed about, thought about, and cried about, gone. All I can think about is what lies ahead. In a moment I'll begin my journey into an eternal world. Where my past decisions guide me to my destination. What will heaven be like? Will I get to Heaven? A couple of minutes all I could think about was my mother. How dare she do what she did! A couple of minutes ago, all I could think about was how long before I moved away. How quick that has all changed. My anger brought my actions. and now I lay, I lay here...hopeless. Don't cry. I know I made my mark. And I'll always remain, in your hearts......I sat there in church, in front of a coffin, a man. Stitched lips and powdered face. I saw what death brought, and felt nothing. I sat, watching, staring, as some mourned. Not me. I sat there watching, gazing. Around me, someone was sad, not because of death, but because she lost her cell phone. In front of me lay death, and around me, no one cared. Will I matter. will people lose their cell phones at my funeral. Mother: I'm sorry. I know for 16 years you've done your best. Mother I'm sorry, I want you to know. I did notice all the things you did for me. You'd give yourself to not lose me. A working woman, a mother of three. I noticed. I love you mom, don't cry. dad. you weren't there much, most of my life. its ok. I know that if you could, you would. dad, don't cry. I hold no grudges. for all of you that I talked to, for mom, for dad, for my sisters, and for YOU, don't cry. i have to go now. God.. I'm ready. I'm sorry, I know I messed up...but I was good. Today...I die. it's ok. I'm ready. My whole body...It's warm, a sensation, a tingle, a swarm. now.. I die its ok don't cry, I’m ready.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
A look of shame upon her face.
I know he told her, he must've told her
A silent scorn, a look of shame
As if I've wrecked our family name.
"Good morning ma, how is your day?"
...A quiet scorn, a look of shame.
he told her. He must've told her.
Oh mommy please look at me.
Talk to me.
Be kind to me.
Oh daddy hell, why'd you tell her.
You're a man, you know better
A look of shame upon her face.
Yeah, she's grief-stricken.
obviously sickened.
Daddy walked in,
while I was choking the chicken.
A silent scorn upon her face
caught watching porn, a great disgrace.
hands on board.
pants on floor.
well i was bored,
porn struck a chord.
Yes i was yanking it
Yes i was cranking it
oh ma, please dont throw a fit
just Cuz i was spanking it!
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
In a glimpse of darkness it can all slip away .
So perfectly knit,
And so well- written.
A flawless sculpture, a masterpiece in itself.
So beautifully orchestrated, and remarkably simple.
Yet
So deep and complex in a way that perplexed, even the best of them.
Its intricacies reach far beyond from what the eye can see.
So much of your thought, work, sweat and sweet time,
Gone.
All gone, slashed away in a blink of an eye.
Without notice,
My life, now gone. Snatched away
Drapes over my eyes as it's tucked away.
So unfair, how could he/she/them
how could you leave me alone in a desert
So lonely, and cold and moist from my tears.
I’ve accomplished, shattered and renamed all my fears.
All I ever thought about, dreamed about, and wished for,
Seems so irrelevant, undesirable, and disgusting.
Yet all I already had, and never knew,
Seems so much more important and somehow renewed.
As if all of my life I looked for a new, to replace my old
And while I was out a thief in my own house found gold.
I long, I crave, what in longer have.
Why couldn’t it be me---also
Why couldn’t I go---also
you never told me about this-- I hate you.
Its not fair how was I supposed to know?
It came. It came. It came alone.
Ever so quiet and slow.
But did it make its presence be known
Like an unexpected, and random night of snow
And in the morning the earth. White glows
Yes, smooth, sleek as it creeped, but a secret impossible to keep.
My eyes now open to reveal a world,
That evil presides as peace resides.
My eyes now open to reveal the new,
As The old reality slips into vanity.
Now I can truly see,
It seems as if my blind eyes were cleaned, healed by holy water.
But holy water was not what touched my life,
Or else I wouldn’t be here crying and dying inside.
Our lives we waste and lose as we sleep and snooze,
Wake up. I said wake up to reality!
I lost what I had,
I lost my last chance,
We lose our lives.
Thinking were diving to find hidden treasures,
Truly were drowning and all for some pleasures?
I see now for I have hit the bottom of the ocean and the only treasure is up were I jumped from.
Take what you got and live.
And be happy.
Or else it too will be taken and lost and forgotten
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Whats so special about pain,
that makes humans want to pay,
to stay,
and watch?
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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Raul Gonzalez Poem
So many times I have failed you. Its impossible for me to count.
Yet. Here you are . By my side. It is impossible for me to doubt.
That you are just a phase. Someone I will just erase,
and pass by, once a diploma hits my face.
Lets let it be known. I’m not the perfect son.
Let it be known I’m not a good brother.
Let it be known. I’m not real Christian.
An let it be known,
That I’ve failed as a friend and lover.
I have made many wrong turns In the road of life.
Only 16 you think,
"At that conclusion how could he arrive?"
Some of you out there Think you know what I’m about.
I’ve showed you part of who I am .
And you have taken it as my whole.
Some of you look at me up here and think hypocrite, liar, and manipulator.
I showed you part of me and you took it as my whole.
You look at whose stands by my side and feel anger, pity, or envy,
Maybe think that person to you is lucky, stupid, or a dummy.
Why cant she see passed his act?
That’s right you think: act.
It's my fault/
I showed you part of me and you took it as my whole.
The thing that you don’t know is that I showed that person my whole.
Not the just the good and the bad.
But my whole.
I too find it hard to believe that by my side you stand,
You put up with so much ,
And in return nothing demand.
It must be hard for you to work so hard and see that at the end you get nothing not even a hand.
You do so much for me,
And yet I only choose to see,
What little I do for you.
Yet you still stand by me.
Strong by my side.
As if you know something that know one else knows.
I am not perfect or great or good that is known,
But something about, keeps you in my zone.
That I am grateful for,
Ill never forget.
And Some things I’ve done I'll always regret .
And hope they don’t come back and loosen the grip,
Between I and you.
You are so beautiful inside and out.
And if I lose you, I lose me.
And flip inside-out.
And it seems as if I don’t care until it is all about to be over.
You realize the only positives about me have faded into times no longer.
I’m sorry. I’ve done wrong and it’s holding me back.
I tell God to do as he wishes as long as he don’t take you back.
You’re my second guardian angel.
With a very human disguise
But I can see passed it whenever I look in your eyes.
So stay strong. Please…For me.
I betrayed you I’m sorry Please don’t leave my behind.
I need you. I want you. I love you. Bye.
Copyright © Raul Gonzalez | Year Posted 2005
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