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Tevin Ta Poem
My therapist once told me to find an outlet
Be open and unbottle all of my insanity inside of me
Plague with such abnormality but I know I’m truly
Beautiful.
Even though part of me know I wasn’t
My soul is half saint and half disgusting
I remember when Asians and Viets would tease me
Point and laugh at me all cause I look different with acne
So I hid myself from the world, a recluse I became
Not feeling the same, feeling in shame with a side of being enflame
At the thought that I’m hideous and not like them
Condemned and banish myself from the light
While I was away, I thought how I wanted acceptance
From others, my presence in patience I lay
To this day I will always rise above in a distance
And better myself and become superior than them
My conscience is clearer than ever
"Oh he’s a loner, a stoner, label L for loser"
Never once was I given a chance in advance
Or even look my way just for a quick glance
Lower than low my self esteem grew
No matter what, I will always be 10 steps further than you
Copyright © Tevin Ta | Year Posted 2013
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Tevin Ta Poem
Just the other night, I had a dream about you and I
Redefined love, whenever I look deep into your eyes
At this point in time, no words could even describe
The mesmerizing feeling that has engulfed me deep inside
In this very dream of mine
So I will try to explain as best as I can to you
To capture true emotions in a clear view
Like a camera do,
As we pan back to Myers Park High School
Can you see me standing out in the crowd
Constantly thinking with a lit cigarette
Contemplating phrases of what to say
And how I'm feeling toward such a beautiful brunette
Having every line rehearsed
I'd say it to you today
Then you looked into my eyes
And they all just slipped away
In class, sitting right next to you
You asked me why my tongue's so tied
I've tried to make sense of all these things I feel inside
I've been searching for the perfect words to say
Through the eyes, they've been said a thousand times
But they will mean more today.
Copyright © Tevin Ta | Year Posted 2013
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Tevin Ta Poem
EatWutUKill, real name's Tevin
I have something called panic disorder and manic depression
Nothing could cope me, not even the medications and therapy sessions
Only made the situation worst, as these prescriptions became my addiction
In bed tossing and turning, my blood's itching as I sit up stressing
If poetry is my blessing, then my curse has to be drug abusing
Cause Klonopins and Oxycontin's been on my mind very often
The more I take these pills, the more I develop characteristics of Satan
Goblins and Gremlins crawling around in my cranium
Now plagued with self-loathing, I don't even like my own reflection
Hallucinations,
I can hear my pets talking, so paranoid, I'm not even the same person
The lights are on, but ain't nobody home, why, I've become so lonesome
It's like revving up the engine and going nowhere, unable to perform my daily functions
I need to stop my addiction, these pills, these medications asap, perhaps
Cause with such a addictive personality,
Hopefully I'll turn my hobbies into my therapy such as writing poetry
Then hope for the best and do what it takes so I won't relapse so my heart won't collapse
If I don't, bright lights fade to black
Instant panic attack
Copyright © Tevin Ta | Year Posted 2013
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Tevin Ta Poem
People ask, why do I always wear white tees
Simply put, if it gets stain, then it gets dirty
A glimpse of a tainted angel pointed out for you all to see
For a while, I have been doing fine
Overcame countless obstacles determined to succeed
When there is such goodness in a corrupted world then best believe
There’s a bad seed implanted in a innocent child with wild hair and acne
On a side note, I am my only best friend, but I can be my own worst enemy
Free me from this body full of hatred that has rapidly clouded me
Not feeling like myself, a recluse and a hater I have become lately
Panic attack medications has altered my appearance my personality
Normal is what I want again, when will this happen?
I guess only time will tell as I sit in this dark and damp dungeon
Copyright © Tevin Ta | Year Posted 2013
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Tevin Ta Poem
M y voice is sinking and my words won't come out
I ’m bleeding from the inside until the blood find its way out
N obody is by my side but a bottle of pills
I quit taking them but this pain I have to kill
N obody loves me cause I'm not good looking and charming
E verytime I tell a girl I love her, why do I always put myself in harming
W henever everything is going fine, it soon becomes low
M y stares then becomes blank and I'm starting to lose control
W hen I leave the house, I put on a force smile
W hen we hang out I make everything worthwhile
T hen it's back to the house as I begin to descend
P ain was from the start and now nowhere does it seems to end
I believe in my faith, it got me to recover from being a drug fiend
N ow its slowly fading as demons are trying to intervene
T here are good days but bad things happens between them
M elancholy clown as the stage lights begins to flicker and dim
I s it really a dark force that is teaching me hate??
A nd wants me to lose my very own possession..my faith
I 'm sorry if it sounds like I'm complaining all the time
B ut this is what I'm feeling & Im trying to cope in form of rhymes
Copyright © Tevin Ta | Year Posted 2013
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