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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
Two and half years ago my friend was diagnosed with lung cancer.
He was at stage 4; the prognosis was not for a long sickness.
We surrendered ourselves to this final ending.
Days became months and months turned into years
We thought he was going to beat this evil.
He accepted chemotherapy with such determination and patience
But his resolve went on unhindered.
He submitted himself to radiotherapy with humour as they had
Tattooed his chest with markers, and to him it was funny.
For thirty months we felt the end coming,
His breathing became obviously painful
He couldn’t swallow and probably suffered panic attacks when his
Throat closed and his food came back to haunt him.
I started feeling his end coming before it arrived.
I prayed that it would be peaceful and painless
And I held my breath when it looked imminent.
I tried to prepare myself
Through tears and sorrow
I watched his shallow breathing with terror
And when the end came I was not ready.
Nothing in this world nor in my mind could have prepared me
For the moment when I had to say
Goodbye to my brother, my mate, my best friend.
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2012
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
Transition
It was a smooth transition
So imperceptible that I hardly noticed.
The passage from life to death was so sudden.
It happened as I was driving
Making a right hand turn.
The bright sunlight softened
Became less harsh.
A blanket of peace embraced me tenderly.
I turned inquisitively to Eliane.
She wasn’t there.
I was truly amazed
I didn’t comprehend.
Somehow I wasn’t stressed.
I want to go back.
I turn the steering wheel,
However the car does not respond.
I want to panic
No I cannot
I am at peace
I look in the rear view mirror
And I see commotion,
Eliane is leaning over someone,
Who is she so intimate with?
I am brought closer to her
I see that she has someone in her arms
She is crying.
I still cannot comprehend,
Why is she sobbing?
People have gathered around her,
There is Brendan
Now Mel is running
And Carlos too,
Why?
As Louise pulls Eliane gently away from this person
I see that it is me.
My eyes are staring nowhere
My face is wet from her tears
Am I?
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2012
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
Hypocrisy
We are punished and jailed when we do wrong
We are warned of God’s wrath if we do something immoral
We are told life after death can be brutal or rewarding
We are threatened with Hell and rewarded with Paradise
But
We know about hell on earth
We know about the abundance of wonderful feelings while we live
But
When we die does our pain from hell or our richness from joys come with us?
After they die do we know if a cruel tyrant is punished
Or a child-molester, or a drug dealer, or a murderer, or an abuser
Are they made to feel the anguish and the terror they have inflicted?
When soldiers are betrayed by their allies
Are those so-called friends chastised after their death?
When you believe your mentors
Who tells you to kill the enemy of your faith
And your rewards will be in Heaven
And you perform the act of wilful murder
Are you rewarded or punished in your after life?
For thousands of years Humans have annihilation races for religious reason
But
Have we learned anything?
We still go on doing the same thing thus proving that
Punishment in the world of the after death does not exist
Because we don’t believe in fiction
We still have politicians who lie
We still have soldiers who die
But
But humans can cry for a bird that is killed
Or for a magnificent old tree that is lopped
And then tolerate injustice and murder in the name of their cause
Thank God
We believe there is goodness in people
If we don’t
Then life is a joke
A bad joke.
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2012
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
WHO AM I?
A match ignites a light into my life
My long sleep is troubled.
Where is my breakfast?
I am hungry!
As I stretch my limbs,
I notice that a spread is set out for me.
I am ravenous.
I timidly start to taste whatever is close to me.
It is an exhilarating sensation,
My hunger grows as I savour food.
I am losing my manners and like a wild beast I devour what I can reach.
I don’t like the way I am and I desperately try to control myself.
I am in my element with the awareness of heat and wind in my hair.
Oh! Please God please make me stop!
The Devil has taken my being and I have lost control.
I am falling.
I am so dizzy spiralling down and down and down this endless shaft.
I want to stop but I cannot.
I need nourishment.
Now that I have had a taste of the uncontrolled sweetness of intercourse with nature I want more.
My senses are at their peak.
Like a crazed lunatic I need more and more.
I want to ravage and take as spoils all the virgin maidens.
I want their young bodies to satiate my need to keep my fire burning.
Like a thunder clap I suddenly realise that mankind is my enemy.
This is very strange because while I was asleep I had so many amorous and soothing dreams of our mutual feelings.
Man and I have respected each other for centuries.
NOW HE WANTS TO STOP ME ENJOYING MY VORACIOUS APPETITE!
We are at war!
But I am so huge that I sneer at his efforts to starve me.
I have my friend the weather on my side
She gives me all her support with dry heatwaves and wind.
I will go on forever and ever eating the delicious Pines, Eucalypti and all the nice vegetation that man has nurtured.
I savour the taste of his homes and the beasts he ingests,
What I relish most of all is when I carnivorously eat his flesh.
I am the fire that rules over this sunburnt country
And I am here to stay.
Man will have to wait until I have had my fill.
Then and only then I will go to sleep again!
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2013
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
Where are you my darling
I do not know where you are,
I look for you every time I turn my head,
I miss your closeness and your support,
I do not know where you are,
I desperately need to feel you,
I need you to help me cope,
I do not know where you are,
I am blind without you,
I cannot shake the loneliness
I feel without you by my side,
I do not know where you are,
I have tunnel vision and the light that
I see is so far away,
I do not know where you are,
I want to die! Perhaps then
I will know where you are.
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2012
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
SOFT DEPARTURE
I can be so gentle
I can be so soothing
When I come to help.
I am not intrusive or malicious
I am here with love and kindness
I am mysterious.
However it does happen that I am deceitfully used
That is why I am feared.
Evil people have used me for vengeance
Or used me to threaten others for gain
I have also been used as an excuse to rule.
I am the right hand of God
I help him to bring back into the fold lost souls.
You cannot come to me
But I will call for you when the time is right.
I make your transition so easy, so banal
That you realise how stupid you were
To have been frightened of me.
I am not ugly.
I do not hurt.
I am Death.
When I come, you will find peace
I will shield you from
The chaos of life
I will put an end to your physical pain
And I will let you rest undisturbed for
Eternity.
5th October 2013
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2013
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Joseph Ben Mayor Poem
The telephone rings:
Joe: “Hello”
Judy: “Joe”
Joe: “Yes what’s up”
Judy: “It’s happening”
Joe: “I’m coming… I’m on my way”
Gloomy thoughts invade me as I am driving. My mind is looking at the past trying to revive some happy moments. And there are so many of them in my memory. All these hours we spent together working out the details of ambitious projects. As I picture in my mind both our homes I can see the marks our endeavours have made. All the times we talked our way through differences, I cannot remember us ever arguing. We admired each other because, I suppose, we complemented each other. His cautious approach to life and my careless attitude were at such contrasting poles that one could wonder how we ever achieved what we did together. It was our way of spending time together.
My love for him is nearly obscene. I would have never allowed another woman other than Eliane to get so close to me, but this guy is more than a brother, so much more that it will hurt so much not to have him around. I cry for losing him and he is not gone yet.
……. I’m Knocking at the door
Judy: “He is slipping fast”
Joe: “My god, this is terrifying. I am not ready for this. I cannot start imagining how you must feel”.
Judy: “Nobody is ever ready. I am numb. I am trying to make some sense of all this but I can’t”.
Joe: “I don’t know what to say but I will desperately miss the bugger”.
Adieu my friend, my brother.
I cry for you.
Am I selfish?
Copyright © Joseph Ben Mayor | Year Posted 2012
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