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Kristiana Bennett Poem
Clever queen, I maneuvered my way through all of the subtle and most obvious plays
Masterfully
Sensual aestheticism, sexual teetotalism, romanticism, sadism, masochism, hedonism
Calculating many moves in advance, I played the game mercilessly
Surrounding my opponents with a plethora of carefully crafted traps
I kept my love fortressed behind invisible walls that many broke themselves against
Refusing to welcome my destruction by embracing the most pertinacious of instincts...
I vowed never to surrender to the capricious whims of the human heart
My fortress was freer than freedom, if the path to it was ephemeral love,
Because it was constructed solidly and openly with the manifold pleasures of a solitary existence
I'd rather be a prisoner of life than a fool walking a tenuous path, I concluded
Until
Him
I, who prided myself on my wickedly razored skills, found myself disarmed and stepping blindly and willingly into the intricate skein of the softer human emotions
I found myself happy, not a happiness derived from a place of ataraxis,
But a happiness spawned from the most contradictory emotions
It started more subtly than pure physical excitement
Passing each other in treacherous currents in the midst of disaster
I subconsciously dreamed he'd lay siege to my heart and submerge me in the torrents of a sweet and stormy love
Passing casually, we'd share a look
A smile
A quick burst of energy
Only to keep going about our business, blithely unaware of what was in store
A chance encounter on a different playing field
We engaged in conversation that led to engaged possibilities and realities
The battle was so pure
It gave birth to the beginning of a limitless and vulnerable affection
He ensnared me with abstinence
And then he conquered me by impenitent penetration
I took him first into my soul, then into my core
So that when he thrust into me, he tore a hole into the fabric of my reality
My vision clouded
My senses hummed
Lines and shapes converged and diverged
And I listened to my moans and raspy gasps as if from another place
My body, ripe for his plundering
And my convoluted mind, which had distrusted so long, learned to love and then to believe, were my gifts to him
Like a bouquet of fire flowers, I detonate in celebration of his victory
And gladly, I realize
That he is my prison
© All Textual Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
Copyright © Kristiana Bennett | Year Posted 2012
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Kristiana Bennett Poem
I was conversing with my son yesterday when I came to an awful realization...When we become adults, never again do we feel love for another person that isn't marred by other antonymous emotions. As our bodies become tainted by all we allow, or seek to welcome into them, so our wells of love become tainted by our experiences, both firsthand and vicarious. Our inheritance of loss.
I thought of how I've dealt with my own experiences and how I could guide my son to a better path. One where he will lose much less and maybe gain more courage than I possess.
It's all too easy to disengage, to neglect to garner the strength to make a supplicating gesture to another...Easy to allow pusillanimity and false pride to grow in the fertile soil of regret until they become wide, tall trees that block the light of love and cover you in the dark shade of desolation...
In keeping with my cowardice, I realized that I have developed the habit of associating love with absenteeism, or what I disingenuously call freedom. It's so much easier to love an ideal, safer too, but so lacking in the richness,purity, and unselfishness the voluntary enslavement that deep love often demands can bring.(c) All Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
Copyright © Kristiana Bennett | Year Posted 2012
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Kristiana Bennett Poem
This day, like a warm woolen blanket
Covered the evidence of my hypertrophied heart
Gave me a plausible alibi for the resulting exuberance
And formed a lovely background for the artistry of two souls and bodies entangled in the grass
Blue skies with scudding clouds
Were a worthy distraction
From eyes that saw too much
And pierced through my flimsy facade like a sword
Cerulean turned to cobalt
And white puffs of air to orange, pink, purple and gray
As the heat disembogued from daylight star
Turned into the cold breath of night
As I was lying down
Tangled up in you
On the cool, hard ground
I found
That cold night air
Doesn't stand a prayer
Against the warmth generated
From feelings that are shared
While I contemplated the rightness of the wrong
And the wrongness of the right
I realized that nothing within me was prepared, or willing to fight
The destruction of the darkness of solitary shade
An unconscious decision was made
And so I stayed...
And prayed
That the sweetness of those moments would not ever end
And that even though I could not comprehend
How my friend and I could transcend
The boundaries of time and place
I would one day understand
The magnitude of the gift we were given...(c)All Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
Copyright © Kristiana Bennett | Year Posted 2012
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Kristiana Bennett Poem
He has spring sky-colored eyes
The sort that hold the remnant of winter's cold with the promise of summer heat
Lips made to sin, corruptibly curved
In a face that is at once friendly and reserved
He's a study in contrasts
Strong, yet sensitive
Astute, but a practitioner of selective perception
He wields his intelligence like a deadly weapon
Laid back, but definitely extremely alert
He piqued my curiosity
Provided fuel for an intense desire
To bask in the blaze of his intellectual fire
He is a comfortable companion
But he evokes conflicting sensations in me
I find myself blushing for no reason
Feeling like my affinity for him makes me guilty of treason
I wonder what purpose lies behind our meeting
I hope that we can share time and energy
Without any of the drama I abhor
And I hope that he sees that my intentions are pure
I recognize his spirit
And see its similarities to my own
I hope that he will understand that I truly intend
To allow every opportunity for us to be friends... (c) All Rights Reserved by Kristiana Bennett
Copyright © Kristiana Bennett | Year Posted 2012
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