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Shelby Mccullough Poem
Noise.
Loud noise.
but it was not just noise, no, not to her.
It was the wild cries from the heavens, calling out to her, reassuring her that everything will be ok, that there is somebody out there who understands, who is just like her.
She emerges from her throne, in her cold, abandon dungon, in her lonly, abandon castle where she is kept prisoner. Kept prisoner from her dreams, her temptations, herself.
Serenity.
Bliss.
The scent stunns her.
Memories from her former life proceed to play like a movie in her memory...
a movie that she can not pause, can not forget.
She stumbles, -afraid to move for the thought that this magical moment may dissapear if she becomes too hasty- to her only escape.
Destroying the barriers that stand in her path.
Ice cold.
Refreshing.
The tiny rain drops fall from the sky,
releasing her temporarily from her own personal hell.
From judgment.
From criticism.
From the abandonment that overpowers her.
Lifting her pale, desolate face to the sky
she lets the rain wash away...
Wash away the hate
Wash away the pain
Wash away the lonliness
Wash away her...in the end.
She cries.
No one would notice, the rain unselfishly disguises her pain so any on lookers would assume that the moisture is just from the malicious storm.
The wind.
So rude, so loud, whips past her.
Attempting to knock the fragile being to the ground.
But she is strong, stronger than she thinks.
She is not phased by it's attempt.
Mother nature is kind.
The heavens cry out again,
begging the young girl to remember, to be happy.
But she cannot.
She can't breath.
She can't think.
Her heart stopped beating a long time ago.
Stopped dead in her lonly, broken chest,
and the heavens cannot understand why
No one can.
But no ones ever tried.
Suddenly, the vicious winds attack her once more,
this time getting a reaction.
A violent tremmor shakes her body
raising goosebumbps on her skin.
She barely notices.
Her imagination runs free,
unleashing all her memories, all her former happiness.
They all consist of Him.....
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
Close your eyes...
Close your eyes my sweet girl.
Dream...
Dream happy dreams my sweet girl.
Stop crying...
Stop crying my sweet girl.
Talk to me...
Tell me what's wrong my sweet girl.
No.
I will not.
I will not close my eyes
-In fear of what might find me
No.
I will not dream any dreams
-In fear that I might not come back
No.
I will not stop crying
-I'm afraid I do not know how
No.
I will not talk to you
-For you will not understand, you will never understand, no one will ever understand...
I don't understand.
So open your eyes my dear friend
-Bask in the knowledge of knowing…knowing life, death, love
[.For I can not.]
So dream my dear friend,
-Drift to a place where all is well, where no harm can come to you
[.For I will not.]
So shed a tear my dear friend,
-And with those tears comes love, happiness and peace
[.Though not for I.]
So talk to me my dear friend,
-Tell me your story, your happy ending. How all is well and kind and how this knowledge of yourself has brought you life.
No confusion.
No loneliness.
No pain.
Tell me about your happy ending
[.For I do not have one.]
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
The lie, its universal.
"I'm fine."
Nobody is ever fine...
Nothing is ever fine.
The imperfections are what make us human, what make us not fine.
and if you're perfect then you're just as messed up! Because being perfect....that is a flaw in itself.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
[THE DANCER]
The shattered glass, in a million pieces.
The blood spilled on the floor.
She never lived, she never was.
All the pain, all the disdain...
she never was one for tolerance.
Alone she dances.
Those shattered pieces mean her no harm, it was not her fault...
She's just dancing.
Don't think
It hurts.
You'll never know the hurt of complete isolation.
She doesn't even know,
she just keeps dancing.
Beautiful
Graceful
Lost
Broken.
In her mind she lives,
she loves
she knows
she is.
For her, the music never stops, she just keeps dancing...
Beautiful
Graceful
Alive.
The pain never reaches her, not when she's dancing.
She knows no loneliness, she knows not what it is to cry, to hate, to fear.
She just dances.
But no, not even she can escape reality.
The music stops.
She falls.
The shattered glass pierces her,
Hate, Loneliness, Darkness, Pain, Fear, Anger, Jealousy, Self-Loathing...
She Feels.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
Thats all she needs.
She desperatly wants his strong, protective arms to wrap around her and sheild her from this cruel world, this world that has broken her.
She desperatly needs him to whisper to her the words that would set her free.
That everything will be ok, and that he won't ever leave,
Like the many times before, where she would lie in his arms for hours
just listening to him breath in and out. His steady heartbeat playing its beautiful composition in her ear. The most signifigant sound in her world.
She drops to her knees, pulling her drentched hair from its roots,
Screaming at the heavens.
"WHY?!"
The heavens respond with a loud bellow,
shaking the earth beneath her.
She knows the truth.
Yet she refuses to accept it.
The pouring rain continues to fall.
She continues to break.
He does not exist.
Not anymore.
He never did.
She wanted it too much.
She wanted to feel love.
She wanted to feel human.
She wanted to feel the unconditional need to be with another person,
and have that feeling returned with equal amounts of passion.
Was it too much to ask for?
Is it too much to ask for?
She can not move.
The rain starts to freeze mid air,
violently pelting her exposed body, leaving red marks as proof.
She does not care.
She can not feel.
The heavens cry out to her, begging her to get up,
To get help.
She refuses.
All she needs is him.
Who ever He is...
Where ever He is...
She will wait.
Wait for all of eternity if need be.
She will wait for the unconditional love.
For that unruly passion that burns in both of their souls.
She waits for the man who was designed to love her,
to need her the same way she needs him.
Forever.
She waits for the man who cannot live without her warmth,
her touch.
And with that,
She slowly, unwillingly pushes herself off the muddy pavement,
permitting herself one final glance at the angry sky,
catching a glimpse at her diamond among coal
Her only friend in the wake of night.
The moon.
"Save me, my angel...Save me."
she whispers towards the sky, allowing a tiny smile to dance across her pale, desolate face
Before returning back to her throne in her cold, abandon dungon, her in lonly, abandon castle.
Feeling a new emotion she's never felt before.
Hope.
Hope shoots across her sky like a metor.
Shinning so bright, filling her with warmth that blinds her.
The heavens cry out,
Relief.
He will find her one day.
And she will be waiting.
[.Because Falling in love, Is giving someone the power to break you.]
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
The suffocation, when did it take over?
Why is it so hard to breath?
'Why' is such a common question with absolutly no answer.
Why do we want it?
Why do we need it?
Why why why why why why why?
I don't understand, understand this pressure, this suffocation.
I can't breath,
but maybe I dont want to.
Maybe then all the suffocation, the pressure, the questions....
maybe they'll all go away...
Maybe, Just maybe.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
It never ends.
This pain, This suffering,
It never ends.
Everything is wrong, everything is wrong.
Hate is such a strong word...well taste my hatered and lie to me as you say a strong word does not belong with such a strong feeling.
You'll never know, you dont understand..
This will never end,
Never End.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
Let it take over,
consume you, become you.
It tells the story so well, when the story need not be told.
Understand.
Understand the pain that flows through the music and into your soul, flowing freely from mine.
Welcom it,
for this pain is the only reality I know.
So welcome it,
for now it is your reality as well.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
[NIGHTFALL]
Why doesn't it stop?
Close your eyes, feel it...just feel it.
It's horrible.
You want out, but you can't.
You're suffocating, drowning.
Nobody hears you, nobody understands.
Nobody cares...
Terrified to let reality in, you sink
False hope keeps your heart beating, just barely.
And every blue moon a light shines through,
blinding you into remembrance, but the pain is too much.
Just sink.
The night will keep you safe, keep you alive.
But only for a moment my friend,
for once the sun rises, it's over.
It's always harder to close your eyes against the sun.
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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Shelby Mccullough Poem
She shakes and shivers.
The nights, they are so cold now....
-This is based on a true story.-
The chills are haunting,
and the silence is taunting,
The darkness is what she deserves.
The shadows, they chase her
Her memory escapes her
But darkness is what she deserves
The halls are empty and hallow
And the truth is hard to swallow,
But the darkness is what she deserves.
Her eyes are tired,
Her head is aching,
Her body's numb and her heart is breaking,
Because darkness is what she deserves.
He's showed her once,
and told her twice,
she knows that she's not worth the fight,
and that darkness is what she deserves.
But he held her close, and whiped her tears,
and ran her far away from here,
no darkness is what she deserves.
He loved her once,
He loves her still,
She's worth the fight,
She's worth the kill,
There's no darkness for her anymore....
How simple life would be if all of this were true, but there is no happy endings...No, not ever for you. So let the wounds split open, let the pain run deep, let your mind forget, no happy memories to keep. It all ends here right now, It all ends here tonight, The anger and frustration, the fury and the fight. Let all of yourself go, make sure all of it unheard, because the darkness, my friend, is the only thing we deserve.
[Forgetting how to breath might possible save your life.]
Copyright © Shelby Mccullough | Year Posted 2011
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