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Dorine R Spruill Poem
Molested the first fifteen years of my life. My mother remained silent the whole time. As the molesting continued all those years. Forced to live a pretend life all my childhood. Beaten and punished every other day. For no reason other than being a child. After all this I figured I was a unwanted child. My mother couldn't love me abusing me. She brought me fancy expensive clothes every year. To cover up all her verbal, mental, and physical abuse. She tried to hide me from people, family and friends. So that they wouldn't see the embarrassing scars and bruises. Sometimes so bad I couldn't even go to school the next day. Or I would get into fights or act rude to get a suspension notice. That would have allowed my body to heal. One time I even tried to get ex-spelled. However, it didn't work. I only came home to more beatings. Her boyfriend watched and help hold me down on the floor as she would beat, and beat, and beat. Maybe this gave him a idea that it was ok to abuse me. Being that my mother was already doing it. Yeah! From the outside looking in my childhood was perfect. Every child wanted my seat. Name-brand clothes, shoes, computers, and almost every toy in the Jc Penny catalog. From the inside looking out I was screaming to get out. Scared, alone, abused, and still a child. So there was nothing I could do. I had no brothers or sisters at the time. All my family wouldn't believe me.No! Not him they would say, and did say at age fifteen I started getting older, and more developed. I had to put a stop to this. So after talking to some school friends. I decided to talk to my mother about what was going on. So later on that night I called my mother in to talk to her. I had told her what had been going on. while she was a work, and out late shopping. She in return asked me to draw a picture of his *****. As if she didn't believe me on the spot. What! I thought to myself. How could she ask me a thing like that? After one hour she finally called the police. I was brung in also for video questioning. I told them what had been going on in the house while my mother was away. The police in return asked me "what took so long for me to tell" I replied" I was scared, alone, and threatened. I had no one in the house to protect me. From my mothers abusive ways. I thought people would tease me." The next question was to my mother. The police asked "How could you live in the same house, and not know that your child was being raped?" My mother sat quietly and had no answer. So she got charged with neglect. My mother's boyfriend got charged with child molestation, and a few other things. I can't remember them all. After all that I was still scared, but finally free. Free to be a kid again.
Awh, hell the relationship between my mother and I went down the drain. After trial she hated me even more. Every day she was threatening to kick me out of the house. I was only sixteen so she couldn't just kick me out. Yet! She even got so angry at times. She went as far as not letting me communicate with my newborn brother. She even told people to keep him away from me. That hurt me so bad everyday. I prayed to God everyday to soften my mother's heart, but it never happened. When I turned eighteen she finally kicked me out the house for real. With no place to go, no money , and no food to eat. I ended up living with family and friends until she let me back in. I don't know why, but I thought things had changed. About a week after moving she called the police and told them that I was prostituting. Which was a lie. Thank God I didn't spend time in jail. Due to her lies and deceit. I never thought I would have to leave my own mother alone. However, after that incident that was my final decision. Sporadically I call her to hear her voice, and check on my brother. Unfortunately she never answers the phone. Her guilt for abusing me won't let her answer the phone.
I moved to Albany, NY for a fresh start. A new beginning! There I met more friends, moved into a brand new apartment, and fell in love. I wasn't expecting to fall in love, but I did. With a adorable, hot, and sexy Italian guy. For the first time my life was great, and I was happy. I even tried some plus size modeling, nursing, and I started self-publishing my writings. I was accomplishing things that my mother never encouraged me to do.
After about four years I started feeling homesick . So I came back to Virginia. Wow! What destruction was happening. My whole family fell apart. Nothing or nobody were the same. They all became police property. That was a sign to continue to stay away from them. Continue my happy life. Continue self-publishing my stories. Praying to God everyday. that I remain successful. This is a true story. Unfortunately it happened to me. From a mother who brung me in this world. Only to use and abuse me my whole entire childhood. Then pretend that nothings even going on.
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2013
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
Once upon a time we all used to live together. By we I mean blacks and whites. The people from Ireland 'Irish" lived with black Caribbeans. They were shipped from Ireland as slaves to west indian masters. they settled in a place called Montserrat. None of the were freed from slavery. They never had a law passed to free Irish slaves. However, after they finished their work of their masters they eventually were set free.
Blacks lived with some Irish whites and British whites. They had to travel to Africa to gather people who knew nothing about slaves or slavery. They couldn't capture west indian people because that's where they came from. They used the money collected from their masters to buy their new slaves. African slaves were indeed freed by president Abraham Lincoln. Who wrote and signed the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863.
Even after slavery blacks and whites continued to live and work together. Some even had children by their masters. Things were this way for years. All they had was each other. All they knew was each other. The only two races forced to live together. Can't get along today in today's society. These facts maybe be a harsh reality, but oh so true.
They only two races of people that were not slaves were the Spanish and Italians. They were never owned, sold, or brought by a black or white man. They fought for their belief and freedom. Also demanded respect so they would not have to bow down to any master. They never got captured and beat. They did the beatings and never got beat. They also lived in black neighborhoods. Which sometimes caused riots. rivalries, and many fights. Due to they fact that both races are very similar in alot of ways.
Overall, blacks and whites both endured slavery to some extreme. Our ancestors would, protest, march, died, and sacrificed for our freedom today. So I don't understand why there is so much hate in the world today. If you don't know your past;you won't be able to handle your future. You will be without understanding. History does repeat itself. Thank You!
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2013
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
He walked the streets of Bethlehem, Jerusalem, and Nazareth
one hundred percent pure African soil
he was borne and raised on pure African soil
both parents given to raise him here on earth
walked and traveled on pure African soil
he journeyed acrossed the Nile river, Rea sea, and the Jordan river
all rivers of Africa the texture of his hair was as course as wool
his eyes red like fire his skin was bronze brown representing the many
African tribes his feet the same feet that walked across African soil
his story has been myth however, the bible reveals Jesus Christ yes Jesus Christ
is African No one really understands his life's story
so society changed his skin color and hair texture so people would
feel comfortable praising him in our new generation a "white world"
they will not praise a black Jesus having a black president proves that the white world
is in outrage and doesn't want to acknowledge black leaders or prophets
they either want them dead or in jail so no one
can hear the truth about Jesus race and background
alot of black men help found this country from pure African soil
even my lord and savior Jesus Christ
Its very sad but very true today's society would rather praise a statue, plant, or figurine than
to praise Jesus name that's why we have so many religions
I guess God understands that's why he said"you can blaspheme against Jesus name, but if you blaspheme
against God or the holy ghost you will never be
forgiven". Even though he said that, that doesn't mean its ok to blaspheme against Jesus
Always be mindful of what you say because it could be your own destruction
everybody will see Jesus before they all die out
then the mystery will be revealed
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2012
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
There are many colors in a rainbow
Red, orange, green,blue, purple,violet, pink,and yellow
To be exact but what about black Rainbow's are God's
promise and commemoration on how he will end the nation
A gift in a combination of colorful marks
If you don't resemble any of those colors you will
Live to see the gift which is the pearly gates of heaven
Black is excluded because their world will not be destroyed
Rainbow's are fun to look at especially after rain storms
mid-day however, if your gay or living in the rainbow world
blaspheming against God you will be destroyed burned in a lustful fire
Aides! Each person is drawn out and enticed by their own desires
What is meant to be will be
Save yourselves and call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ
remember the promise and wait for the fulfillment
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2013
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
Together we are suffering a slow silent pain
like a execution I can feel the stinging electric shock to my heart
separated but together I thought I wouldn't care
but I do my heart aches and my soul cries for you
tell me darling does your soul cry?
I am thirsty for your love again
don't be afraid and don't cry
if you do I will drink your tears of fears
until we unscramble our relationship puzzle
lets give love another try forget about your mistakes
as I will for get about mine
with arms wide open I will accept you back
now and forever I love you
its not lust I just trust my heart and
it will lead me right back to you
in your arms where I suppose to be
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2013
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
Banished for years
I found myself wandering around on a sacred land
away from my normal life
I found sanctuary and peace in a unknown place
the stiff pacification allowed me to hear the
second hand stroke on the clock
everyday as the calignosity approached I would feel
a alacritous breeze on my right shoulder blade
without indecisiveness I continued to enjoy myself
turbulent and exasperated paying little attention to
the paranormal activity surrounding me
until a horde of banshees swarmed me
I had no idea what commenced this fright
my legs and feet were benumbed
I started to believe I didn’t belong in this place anymore
After being forthrightly besieged
almost sure that these incorporeal beings
wouldn’t understand my chronic vagabondage
It was time to migrate I was typhlotic to the fact
that it was an invisible mansion
where a shipwreck caused their souls to be buried their some even alive
I can hear the never ending snivelling in the dead of the night
penetrateing their voices into my ears
trying to abscond I became convulsed
the strange breeze brushed my shoulder blade again
only this time it stayed “what do you want?”
I asked the strange cadaverous speckle flash
it flashed at the entry walk way showing me an invisible door
that I had walked into a haunted invisible mansion
and could not get out until they released me
my eyes instantly became blood shot red
furious and rampageous I tried to run away but was pushed
to and fro by an unseen force was I indeed trapped in another dimension
I asked myself without skepticism I was ambushed
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2018
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Dorine R Spruill Poem
Finally!
it was finishing
tonight was the night
as she watched her life set
with the evening's sunset
over the ocean
she instantly became a protégé
of Pavarotti
joined by other spirit beings
she became steal overlooking
her life's final decision
sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean
her death's inauguration became
a surprise suddenly rising
above her sinking body
rising above the earth
soon to meet up with God in heaven
to explain why she sunk
in the deep depths of the earth's ocean
the new portrait of her life
became the "Mona Lisa"
painted across the sky
with her death's inauguration symbolizing
completion of living a given
life of fact or fiction
a proper farewell to the lady
as she departs with the sea
"salute to her rising value"
Copyright © Dorine R Spruill | Year Posted 2018
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