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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Replay
I see your face
The memories we share
Underneath that starlit sky
When you were still here
Before we muttered goodbye
Replay
I feel those butterflies
That mixture of emotion pulsing through my veins
The feeling of suffocating
Just from saying your name
Recap my favorite images again and again
Your face so perfect
Your brown eyes burning
The sweet way you were smirking
The way you blend
Congruence between you and me
The imminent euphoria
Found within “us” and “we”
Every fiber of my being longs to be with you
When you kissed my lips
My necessity for you was recognized
I choose suspension
If it takes a century
Never will I find
What you mean to me
Replay
Driving away
Fighting the repressive
Dealing with my feelings for you
My panicked objective
Feeling the sting in my voice before I left
As I said goodbye and I will miss you with regret
Repeat
We have been distanced
And yet we are so close
Every second of the day is when I feel you the most
They can send you over seas
They can make me afraid
That you won’t return
They can play with my pain
They can puncture my heart piece by piece
You see they are cutting a hole
But they will never possess the capability
Of draining my Soul.
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Rain falls
Lights brighten the space above the sidewalk
There on the corner stands a girl
She stands tall yet frail
Her face is in anguish, so pale
Pain clearly controls her
The emotion on her face is washed out like the light softly brushing the pavement.
She screams, tears stream but there is no sound
No way to convey the truth
No one to witness reality
Suddenly a crowd forms from the darkness
A wide range of individuals
Looking pained
Looking lost
They all scream in unison
Still their screams are hushed
She is in the center now
All the individuals are isolated from each other
Each in their spaces of pain
A new form of crowd immerges
They are bright and glad they laugh and there is sound
Ringing clearly
They whisper happiness is a choice
They burn bright
Contrasting to the black and white individuals
Suddenly the girl stops screaming
Tears stop streaming
She brushes her coal black hair from her eyes and rolls up her sleeves
She grabs a marker
She writes “Freedom of expression”
Along the pavement squares
Like the completion of a crossword
She draws a paintbrush and paints her heart
She spills her soul
She releases her grief
She draws a microphone and sings
Sings her mind
She spills her innovation
She draws and paints and creates
Feels and thinks and exists
She cries and laughs and breaths
She colors her world and when she screams
Notes and chords
Rain and sunshine
Light and dark
Pain and joy
Are set free
As the others watch her they begin to follow
They scream and Rain falls
Everyone can hear the piercing
Expression Is Freedom.
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
A
Smile gleams
Unfolding the light
Found buried within bright eyes
I fear we have become a dream my darling
A figment of the imagination
Pretend and false
A notion of love
Love and loss
Every day is a piece to the puzzle
Being put together
For the sake of resting from the chase
From scurrying about
Trying to escape these demons
Hidden within each place
Within walls of sanctuary
Within walls of rest
Alive and well
They breathe down our necks
When the mind is alone
How it tends
To lose color
To become faded and rustic
Existing Lifeless.
A
Deadened
Flower.
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Why do you always take control?
Why won’t you leave?
Wish my problems would solve themselves
Wish I believed
But you don’t change
And I’m stuck waiting
Glued to the floor
Searching for more
That I will never find
You will never try
You will let me scream
You will let me bleed
You will let me jump
I’ll be Free finally
When I hit the pavement
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
It’s the kind of day to cry about
To open your eyes let the tears rush out
The rain is falling
Pavement slick
Maybe I should just slide into a ditch
Lie there cold
Lie there still
Sun-faded in summer
Enameled brightly by fall
Dew lined in spring
Winter, chilled and thawed
Lie there in an anomalous state
Lie there taut and still
Loss of mechanism
Loss of will
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Glazed rain drops hit me in the face, stinging
Why is the caged bird singing?
Scars and lines
What defines individuality?
Rationality is it necessary?
Cracks in the side walk
Why is my heart blocked?
Freeze or Thaw
Toughest decision of them all
Question and Predict
You and I just clicked
Sink or swim
What is this invasion?
True or False
Run, Run, Run
Lungs, heart, Mind
What defines Individuality?
Is it sincerity?
This is beautiful because you have become my concealment
Thaw
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
The heat of the water burns my skin
And Yet I remain cold within
The water streams down my face
Like a quiet creek
Quickly coursing
Falling softly where my tears should be
All the days that I
Just want to scream
To hit something
To sense relief
All the night I want to disconnect my head
And all the thoughts that you
Are kept alive within
No tears fall
Their purpose has been lost
They have been spilt
For no result
Frustration surfacing
Held together by love
Can’t release anything
Emotions are numb
How heat of the water burns my skin
And Yet I remain cold within.
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Woke
To a cold surface
Woke
To a confused state
A metal enclosure surrounds
First impression hit the sides with all the strength I can gather
Fight the cruel force of matter
But really does this matter
A mental enclosure surrounds
First impression is to punch the sides with all the strength I can assemble
I breathe in and out beside this cold metal
The mind is saying everything is wrong
The mind says you aren’t strong
The mind said you are alone again, see?
Doesn’t matter
I love you
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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Kelsey Rutledge Poem
Leaves lie below the shallow pool
Rippled water engulfs them
They are still
At the bottom
Of their own ocean
Touching the pavement
Longing to breathe and rattle in the force of the wind
To be where they were designed to be
To be taken home again.
I am a leaf at the bottom of a shallow pool
I touch his face
Awakened
From a cold sweat dream
I touch this earth
My hands reached out
Attempting blindly to feel and figure it out
Fragile and small I become
Each day beneath these waters
Submerged by the dark wave of outside forces
Controlled by predestined courses
I stand but my knees feel numb
I weep
But my tears fall soft
I long to hold what I was destined to hold
To be taken home.
Copyright © Kelsey Rutledge | Year Posted 2011
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