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Tracy Mullins Poem
My dreams are not
what I thought they would be.
When I was fifteen,
and thinking of me.
"Twenty years from now..."
the thought ran through my mind.
"I'll be beautiful and smart.
Happy and kind."
"I'll be a stay at home mom,
with my high school sweetheart by my side.
He'll work nine to five,
we'll have nothing to hide."
But the years they change us.
And life gets hard.
You fall out of love.
And your heart gets barred.
You raise your kids.
Alone and depressed.
You work too hard.
Never getting any rest.
And then one day
you find someone new.
And your dreams,
they change.
And your attitude too.
Twenty years later,
I'm a stay at home mom.
My high school sweetheart
is long, long gone.
I am beautiful and smart.
Happy and kind.
Who knew it would take
twenty years to find
this wonderful man,
here by my side?
And him and I,
we have nothing to hide.
My dreams are not
what I thought they would be.
When I was fifteen,
and thinking of me.
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
cardinals fly by
wind plays a tune in the trees
the waterfall gleams
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
I have a daughter,
she was my first.
A mother to her,
I was the worst.
I divorced her dad,
when she was just two.
What a time I had.
All we went through.
I remarried a man,
who drank too much.
Divorced again,
and not much luck.
At twelve years old,
a decision she made.
To live with her dad,
to this very day.
Now she's fifteen,
and a beautiful girl.
Honor roll queen.
Life's in a whirl.
During the twelve years
that she lived with me,
she helped raise her sisters.
There are more than three!
She's beautiful. She's happy.
She's one of a kind.
This may sound sappy,
But i am glad that she's mine.
Her hair is not curled.
Her eyes are not blue.
She's a blessing to this world.
My baby, I love you!
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
Five months in the hospital.
They don't know what is wrong.
I.C.U. and feeding tubes.
What the hell is going on?
They've run every test known to man.
Still can't say why she's sick again.
Amputate the leg. Shave the head.
Dialysis on stand-by.
Shots here. Procedures there.
And specialists of all kind.
You get to know the hospital staff.
Patients come and go.
Visitors cry and patients die.
People you get to know.
He stays in the hotel right next door.
What's it all for?
He's been here for every meal.
Late night calls and four bare walls.
Talk on the phone, at least twice a week.
Keep her on the prayer list at church.
And try not to cry.
"Hold on strong. It won't be long.
And home you soon will go."
Then, "Where do I begin?
There's an infection again."
Two more weeks to stay.
She looks at her husband
and she cries again.
"If I'm gonna die
I'd rather die at home.
Not here all alone."
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
When he's been gone too long,
And the days never end.
State after state
He misses his best friend.
He hates to say good-bye.
Too macho to cry.
Gotta pay the bills.
There's no time to kill.
He hugs his wife good-bye,
as his little girls cry.
They miss him so much.
And he misses so much.
First steps. First words.
School days. Birthdays.
The phone's always there.
But it's not the same.
Always alone.
No one to blame.
It's just a job.
A career. A life.
It's all he knows.
And he misses his wife.
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
This is the way
the relationship is founded,
they love him and miss him,
and hate him when they're grounded.
He teaches them respect.
It is because of him
that they don't know neglect.
He loves them, and hugs them.
And makes them do their chores.
And all of this
makes me love him more.
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
Once every nine weeks, I dread going there.
I know it's expected. I'm very well aware.
The children will act as nice as can be.
But all eyes will be directed and pointed at me.
The room will be small, with nowhere to hide.
The parking lot full, with no one outside.
The halls will seem longer than ever before.
As I slowly approach and knock on the door.
The chairs will be empty, except for one.
And she'll say that she's glad we could come.
Now I have to sit down, and listen intently.
In a chair that's too small for this mother o'plenty.
I will hear all the things that my sweet children do.
It's parent/teacher night at my childrens school!
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
The paths that we take
At first seem right.
But then soon
We all lose sight,
Of how we began
And what got us here.
Once again
We will be filled
With nothing but fear.
To turn and run back
Is your first thought.
Soon you realize
That that door is locked.
You must move on
And make your life right.
Stand up for yourself.
Fight a good fight!
Put it all back in order.
The way it should be.
It's gonna be hard.
But just look at me.
I came from a family
Honest and proud.
I walked around
With my head in a cloud.
I could do no wrong
And the world couldn't hurt me.
Then I turned off that road
And never looked back.
I was lost to this world.
Fell into the crack.
I gave it all up.
House, car, and kids.
Wanted nothing.
And had no reason to live.
Then one day
After months of pain,
He came into my life
And everything changed.
Now I'm better
Than ever I was before.
Scared and crying
And lost no more.
I don't know how
He turned me around.
But in him
A true love I have found.
I got it all back.
After years of hard work.
Had I not turned down
The roads that I did,
I would never have met him
And had these great kids.
They are my life
And what I live for
Who could ask
For anything more?
As the years go by,
And I look back on it all,
I can see the mistakes.
The wrong roads that we take.
Lives lost and battles won.
Daughters and sons.
If you could change the past
How awful would that be!
You wouldn't be you.
And I wouldn't be me.
We learn from the stupidity
Of ourselves and others.
Although we often
Break the hearts of our mothers.
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
In the dark outside,
all the kids try to hide.
Door to door.
Looking for more.
Running and screaming.
Not knowing the true meaning.
Of this night.
What it could be like.
I look around
to find my own,
and I notic to my horror,
that one of them is gone!
I have six daughters,
and the count is five!
Which one is gone?
Is she alive?
Gather them around
They're all scared now.
Their eyes are big and round.
One's gone, they don't know how.
Now I'm yelling,
"Where's your sister? Where?"
Without a word they are crying,
and looking for her.
And where could she be?
Then they all just look at me.
"Mom, you're tired. Lets go home.
For our sisters not alone.
No need for scolding.
The sister you lost, you're holding."
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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Tracy Mullins Poem
I walk through the doors,
frozen with fear.
What am I stupid?
Why am I here?
A doctor. A lawyer.
A carpenter, too.
Oh, I don't fit in.
I feel like a fool!
They taught me that
I am no different from them.
They walk the same roads.
Sing the same hymns.
I am lonely no longer,
when my husbands away.
My bonds have grown stronger,
at the church where I pray.
Come in and you'll see.
God loves us each one.
Hope can be found
in the arms of his Son.
Copyright © Tracy Mullins | Year Posted 2005
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