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Autumn Smith Poem
the evidence.
splatters of black bold print
contrasting to the white of my past.
its all getting blurry.
i think i see a night ,
where rain fell like knives
into my skin.
i saw red for the first time,
shaken against walls
a inner earthquake
as sirens blared
replaying your screams
as her fist fell like explosions
to your blossoming womb
i cried like i never had before
and I ran
fast as my legs could carry
as you screams kept skipping
on the worlds surround sound
your blood stained my hands
and no matter how many times i washed it off,
i knew the image had been
tattooed
on my eyes
it's all getting blurry
but i remember
one night
dark as your skin
you crawled to my door
and your blood trailed behind
shards of hidden pains
and hopeful dreams
scattered around your body
"please"
you whimpered
i let you in
and hid
behind my mother's figure
whom i once ran from ,
it was my only form of shelter.
your tears turned black
as you screamed
hatred
and cried
love
contradicting in your own being
i couldn't help but feel bad for you
the pool of your tears flooded the floor
and i
kneel down and pray for your tattered heart
that it could heal past the feeling
of losing your wings in a moment of anger
and being thrown to the pavement
as you rolled away from your "savior"
Lucifer in disguise
i wondered how angels
could kill so much
you screamed he was your everything
but what were you to him?
i cant seem to remember
so many moments of red
it's all getting blurry
too much to see
as I rock myself to sleep
and say it'll be alright
cuz her hands will never leave my mind
as more than the bombs she rigged to explode
in your stomach
and their eyes will never seems pure again
as i remember their trickery
and the pool of your hearts tapery
cut into a million pieces
i don't remember much
and in this white room
where i'm all alone
i still feel i'm safer
and I thank god for this heaven i'm in
because i'm losing the tainted images
tattooed on my mind
it's all getting blurry
till it finally turns white
Copyright © Autumn Smith | Year Posted 2010
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Details |
Autumn Smith Poem
drenched in the way
your words press into my core
like a nucleur expectation
i grew with the weight of three worlds on my shoulders.
fragile as i was ,
i attempted to carry all of them:
your last chance ,
your last chance to prove
that you ,were a good parent .
my last chance to prove
i'm more than a kid from the streets.
their last chance to see
someone actually make it.
mistakes surround me,
failures in my blood
thicker than our relation.
i feel it,
pulsating ,
as the tempermental flares
send uv flames
onto my trembling limp
limbs.
controlled by wanting ,
wanting to exceed,
wanting to meet,
at some halfway point
just so i know that I'm making progress.
because i've been running in
footsteps
so many have tred
that they have started to wear,
and soon I can't see if I'm still standing
in a shadow
or paving my own concrete.
i'm not a god,
and I can't do everything.
failure ,
taunting me
whispering
that i will never be anything more
that another human being,
striving for the power of the gods,
for the perfection
of the heavens.
But I don't really mind
my imperfection
because I've come to realize
that I can never be a god
with these feet that have been planted
firmly on this ground
and no matter how many pairs
of wings
I've managed to fabricate
We can't all be Icarus.
I can walk,
on this ground,
as clumsy as I am,
making mistakes
and saying to the
blood that I fear.
"I'll be okay"
and though your expectations
torment me.
Your words so contradicting,
your hopes foreshadow fears,
and create doubts
of being anything..
but I don't let them weigh me down
And though I may never fly,
at least I'll hover.
Copyright © Autumn Smith | Year Posted 2010
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