Details |
Kaitlyn Elam Poem
Rain drops
I looked up at the clouds and the rain greeted me with one rain drop by my eye and then two.
Well how do you do mr. Rain cloud? I wasn’t prepared to meet your acquaintance today. I'm dressed for summer. I left my warm clothes at home ?After you leave the sky will be polished up like chrome. You’ve been gone for so long , this is such a surprise . I’ll have to pray for the sun to come back before it turns to night . This change gave me a fright . At last The sun greeted the moon and said it’s time for me to sleep while you go out and play. I'll live to see another day . The moon shined bright with her curves and edges, a golden hue that illuminated the sky. I stared up at its beauty with a twinkle in my eye. The trickling rain drops started coming down faster and I could hear them smacking the pavement . Just like a snap of my fingers, that small trickle turned into a heavy rain hitting the ground's surface, soaking into the muddy roots and nourishing all the plants in sight. Oh my what a beautiful night ! I looked up at the guiding light of stars past the trees and felt a warm breeze. To think my curiosity was the one that led me outside to witness the rain . There was a pitter patter on the roof and trickling on the windows above my classroom . The rain wanted to be heard and seen almost like a child who wants their friends to come out and play ! The rain had my attention. I sat on a bench witnessing each drop hitting the ground. I just loved the sound . I couldn’t help myself by walking into its presence. The rain was warm and inviting. There was something pleasant about its humid tropical smell, not what I anticipated for the first fall but we are in California after all.
Copyright © Kaitlyn Elam | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Kaitlyn Elam Poem
Through life’s clenched jaw, I'm in awe of my accomplishments. The pain in my life has started to fade as I open the blinds and pull back the shades. I've been reaching into my core, allowing my heart to pour out onto each page. Soaring through my thoughts, I watch my depression rot and wither. Looking back at my past gives me shivers; I was once homeless, covered in grit and grime. Sweat dripped down my face as I felt so out of place in reality, watching my life seep away like quicksand. Life didn’t deal me the best hand. Coming from a broken home, substance abuse was all I knew. This was my pattern for years until I was ready to shift gears. In a hopeless state of mind, I cried out for help, not knowing how to cope with the feelings that festered inside me. Narcotics Anonymous became my guide— a guiding light to break these chains within my heart and soul. Drug addiction won't continue to take its toll. I was lost to a society that no longer saw me as a person but as a transient on the street, hooked on drugs and unsure where I would sleep. The person I used to be is gone. I was able to right my wrongs and forgive those who caused me harm—not for them, but for myself, so I could move on. Move on from this torment that held me hostage—hostage to my disease between my ears. It was time to stop living in fear. The ways I coped for ten years left me in a chokehold I couldn't break alone, but with my loved ones by my side, I realized this was a road I didn't have to walk alone. I’ve grown from the broken, neglected little girl inside me—sewn back my broken pieces. If you're fighting something deep inside, don't give up hope, and let your pain be your guide. I hope you cry every tear without fear of judgment because you're introducing yourself to healing when you allow yourself to start feeling. I was once told it’s a sign of weakness to be vulnerable. But they were wrong, so I'll keep singing this song. The song of my pain, my sorrow, hoping to give someone else hope to live till tomorrow. I refuse to be labeled as an addict or a lost cause. The jaws of this world haven't swallowed me whole yet. The fire is burning in my soul, and with the help of others, my heart is whole.
Copyright © Kaitlyn Elam | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Kaitlyn Elam Poem
Today, I see my brisk, cold breath, a shadow in front of my face, as I slowly come to terms with the fact that our summer season is leaving without a trace. The summer fruits are losing their taste and beginning to wither, no longer juicy and sweet, but only bitter.
The watermelon has lost its sweetness, I so desire.
I will have to consider the idea of completely changing my attire.
I’ll wave farewell to the warm beaches and sun-kissed skin.
I’ll soon be back to my porcelain complexion once again
So long to the hyper focus of wanting to be thin
Adieu to the crop tops and dresses breezing through the wind.
Sitting back and soaking in each warm day till our summer comes to an end.
I won’t be dancing around the sunflowers that have so gracefully bloomed time and time again.
They’ve made their presence known, stocky and green, towering over me with their heavy leaves and prickly spines
They are so divine with vibrant yellow petals that shine like the sun.
Growing in rows one by one
Bobbing and weaving through the fields, I could capture photos
and smile with each one surrounded by its rich brown centers filled with seeds
How they fill my heart with so much glee
My grandma passed two summers ago, and every sunflower is a reminder of her presence that softens my sorrow. through every flower that blooms, there's a warmth in my heart that I consume
A loving symbol through nature, my grandma’s always here
I’ll miss the flowers in bloom illuminated through the windows in my room.
The gloomy days are coming soon
The leaves will begin to fall, raining from the trees, green and tall
Our leaves will cover the ground and turn a burnt orange and brown
Tree branches will be bare like a lady without any hair.
The sandals will rest on my shelf
collecting dust till the next warm season comes through
I’ll soon find fleece sweaters for myself
Thick wool socks and long pants, too.
The sky will turn a deep, dark hue of blue
Rain will thunder down
Lightning will pierce the sky and
Summer will soon have to say goodbye.
I will send kisses to the sky till we meet again
Goodbye, Summer, my old friend.
Copyright © Kaitlyn Elam | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Kaitlyn Elam Poem
The wind was howling
The trees were growling
I'm torn between polar opposites of emotions.
One part of me this memory makes my skin crawl and there’s lingering grief that holds a seat at the dinner table . Then there’s the other half of me that is filled with some comfort that my cousin Brittany was present for my birthday .
When I was in second grade my cousin appeared with her husband at the time to be present for my birthday celebration . She sang like an angel. The harmony was untouchable . I’ll never forget her voice, the voice of an angel . She would play the piano and it would echo beautiful melodies through the hallway into the kitchen. A familiar sound I grew up with in my aunt's home. My mind is stuck replaying this memory when I hold this beautiful soft blanket in my hands . I think of her. The hearts represent her kind loving spirit, the softness of the blanket represents her tender caring heart . Her life was taken away like quick sand . This was the first and last time I saw her . I met her husband the same day too. There was tension in the air at the end of the night that you could cut with a knife ,this gave me a fright. There was discomfort in my body telling me something wasn’t right . Even as a little girl my intuition was strong and I could see he was the dark cloud dimming her light. Eventually her light was blown out from the overwhelming darkness of his spirit . She tried to escape him but he couldn’t let her go and may 10,2011 she had to say goodbye . A man filled with greed and jealousy couldn’t live without this light so he took her away from everyone she loved, everyone she knew . I still hear her voice in my head distant now but her memory and essence will rain true .She’s forever 27 .
My angel in heaven.
Copyright © Kaitlyn Elam | Year Posted 2025
|
Details |
Kaitlyn Elam Poem
My Honor
In this box, you’ll see a variety of colors that hold high importance to me ; they represent the hurdles I’ve overcome and the achievements I’ve won . I’ve walked along a treacherous road paved with horrendous battles . Once a broken soul shackled and chained to the disease of addiction that created so much tension and friction in my life, most people questioned if I would live or die. Die from a disease that brought me to my knees.
A disease that took everything away from me, my job, my home, and my sanity
It was blasphemy . This road was filled with blood , sweat, and tears.
I was fueled with fear . But these tears have watered the seeds of unhealed trauma and began my journey of healing as soon as I allowed myself to start feeling .
There has been a continued feud within myself that only an addict would know
I’m grateful I gained some hope to create a place for love to grow.
The battles I’ve fought and the pain I’ve carried remind me of all the loved ones I’ve had to bury
This box is a symbol of my triumph and resilience, proof that I am more than a negative statistic. By recovering out loud, I offer a message of hope to others suffering in silence.
My broken wings were mended, and self love was transcended .
Once a dope fiend is now a woman with self-esteem
My father didn’t think I would live past 18. The wave of self-doubt crashed over me like a tidal wave, and recovery became my life preserver to save me from myself . I hold the privilege of being a recovery addict today, with 5 years clean, once a homeless, reckless, broken, lost soul who fought to survive, now holds gratitude for being alive . Addiction is a generational curse in my family , that's tormented so many of my loved ones . But my story has been rewritten, I’m no longer living in self-pity, but I have a heart full of gratitude and a mind with integrity. I’m continuing to honor all my angels from above, thank you to the program that taught me how to love.
?
?
Copyright © Kaitlyn Elam | Year Posted 2025
|