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Matthew Herfurth Poem
CONT ... from Part 2
THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT WOOD Part 3
Through frowning ululating flowers
of full colours she waded
for hours.
She scaled sharpie sharp rocks
and slid down roughie rough slopes.
She rested out of breath
next to the bones of fox dopes.
She heard the elf somewhere yelling, promising,’
Santa has changed his mind!
I’ll take you back to work! Christmas is back on! I’ll meet you at the vines maligned.’
B knew Mark was lying through his reptilian teeth
so she quickly got her breath back and headed east through a bush valley to a suburb called Heath.
A dim tunnel dripping she past made her thirsty
so she went inside with her
mouth open wide.
The water drops were just right for her.
When she closed her mouth,
lowered her head,
swivelled around,
Santa was right there in bright white-and-red.
He was staring furiously
and licking his lips.
B screamed, ‘HELP! HELP! HELP!’
and clutched her hips.
Shockingly he opened his super five metre wide like Pac-Man mouth. Then he sucked up B into it
so she wouldn’t be able to EVER AGAIN! eat his wood toiled toys. He yelled, 'NEVER again could she do it!'
She laid too scared
in his fat gut, literally a real tar pit!
But she felt positively relieved she’d soon get out
when she remembered, and Santa forgot, that there was no doubt that in a few days he’d poo her out.
THE END
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Mr Rate of Increase of Speed and Mr Rate of Change in Velocity.
Mr Rate of Increase of Speed and
Mr Rate of Change in Velocity took advantage of
Mr Machine for
Increasing the Speed and
Energy of
Charged Particles for
being too agreeable. They have
too much expression of
acceptance in them and
too much applaud of
praise type in
them.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
The Woman Who Could Eat Wood Eats a House
For free,
The Woman Who Could Eat Wood ate a pine house
for a too bitter, battered and bruised divorcee.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Calculator
My calculator is
too worried about
fog getting inside and
stopping her from
functioning properly or
functioning at all.
Seeing our ancestors as
they once were in
their unexperienced state and
condition should warn off the fog from
trying to get into
the house.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Bouncing Ball
One of
my bouncing balls can
electronically amplify with
his ears some
musical instruments.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Speaking Your Mind
Every time you
don’t speak your
mind these things happen:
snails do
aerobics, flamingos update their
details on
important apps, palm trees spill
out Amish hats, combs beg to
eat
lemon pie, stools memorise
flame thrower literature, and
gravy animals, who live in
the clouds, help out
swamped midwives.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
The Woman Who Could Talk Very Well to Cats
Years ago in a settling centre
cameras and people would flock
to marvel at The Woman
Who Could Talk Very Well. She they’d never mock.
Not talk very well to humans, only talk very well to cats in cat language not from around here.
Cats from Spain.
Cats from Japan born in any year.
Cats from Finland.
Cats from any country held dear.
She’d translate their dreams,
and their reasons for coming,
and the contributions they’d
make to the community upcoming.
But quickly the centre upset The Woman
Who Could Talk Very Well to Cats.
If they wanted to keep her there they should’ve payed
her a wage instead of paying her with stupid hats.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Perfectly
Perfectly is
jelly-like.
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
The Man with a Star Head
The Man with a Star Head offered himself as a very small lighthouse.
Seamen never thanked him, not even his favourite Jed! So iron he used to douse
his very bright head
forever out, a big douse!
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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Matthew Herfurth Poem
Magnifying Glasses
I’ve erased using white out some
items listed on my
magnifying glasses’ shopping lists. They get really bad
gas after
eating all
savoury foods!
Copyright © Matthew Herfurth | Year Posted 2024
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