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Colbi Hagan Poem
A women
A shell of a body
A chest held close
Clothing hanging off them
Holding to be the only thing they have
The barrier they keep
The barrier that keeps them walking
Keeps them from looking back
Keeps the footsteps behind them
Keeps the hands in their pants
And not in hers
She keeps your lights on
Her headphones in
Her pace fast
Her clothing layered
Her dog's leash tied to her wrist
Her dogs big and vicious
Their breaths smell of liquor and bad decision
Their fist beaten raw
Like another's face
Their heads are bare
Bald young
Wrinkled and ugly
Stained with those decisions
Drug abuse
Alcoholism
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
Somewhere someone remembers your smile
Somewhere someone kissed those lips
Somewhere someone knows your body
Somewhere someone has touched you
Somewhere someone has hurt you
Somewhere someone has made you cry
Somewhere someone has lied
Somewhere there is a someone both better than me and worse
Somewhere someone makes you smile wider than I do
Somewhere somewhen I wish I were the person that has made you smile
Somewhere somewhen I wish I were the one that kissed your lips
Somewhere somewhen I hurt you
Somewhere somewhen I wish you didn't cry
Somewhere somewhen you felt something for me
Somewhere somewhen you stayed
Somewhere somewhen I loved you
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I admit I look at pretty girls
Most I don’t think about after that
In that way I’m a straight man
But not a cis one
I could be a lesbian, I guess
But only in a way that would be frown upon
Because I do like guys
Guy, in specific
And it’s barely like anymore
Love
I love this man
If I cannot be his I will be a straight guy
I’ll fish
Listen to heavily metal music
I will be homophobic if I must
I’ll drink the gay away
I’ll go home with girls I don’t know
I’ll go bald young
I’ll have a few kids
By then I guess I’d be a raging alcoholic because no amount of alcohol will ever make me as straight as I can pretend to be
I know I’d disappoint myself by then, and most definitely not be a man he’d be able to love
This poem would be the most I have to give him
A poem from years ago
From the one that wouldn’t give up for him
The one that is still listening to the music and sending text messages
The friend he can talk to
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2023
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I loved you.
I really did.
My poetry is about you
Your face so neatly carved into my brain I can draw you from memory.
You were the first to know how I felt
How you tugged at my heartstrings in a way so excruciatingly painful
I saw you through my rose coloured lenses and gulped down painkillers forgetting that you ever pained me.
You lead me on like one of your mindless pets
I would have died for you
If you told me you wanted them dead they'd be dead
If you told me you wanted me dead my last words would be yes sir.
I want to break from your grasp
Although the words you speak bring too much comfort
The way you look at me
The wonder in your eyes as if you never have seen my suffering or the way one could trip over themselves and sacrifice themselves as I for something like you
I scavenge for the love you once gave me
Trinkets that I keep in a box and at the bottom of my bag
Your love is a drug
My stash low
I crave for every bit of love you give me
It's a bad influence
My memory blurry
You make me sick.
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I love you like the moon loves the sun
Like the ground to the sky
Like Joey to Rachel
I love you passionately
With every beat of my heart
With every glance I dare
Sentences of words you understand
Questions
Answers
I love you so much
So painfully
I show you my affection
Reflecting your light
Smiling to myself reading over old text messages
Songs
Jokes
I write the words
Sentences
Paragraphs
Poetry.
I speak
References
Joke
Opinion
Suggestion
I suggest
Music
Pieces of writing
I market myself
With every bit of energy I put thinking of you and only you
Music
Poetry
Cries.
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I'm promised to your finger tips
The ones that run through my hair and run across my skin
When there's space between that skin and the cloth that hangs off me
My shirts aren't tucked into my pants you can enter and exit as you please
Your fingerprints left over the seats of our parents cars
People we forget we know
People that are nearly the blood we rub off our skin and let drain into sinks and bathtubs
I promise you my nights
When no one can hear us and no and can recall what exactly we've done
Asleep or unaware
Passed out or might as well be
Your the drug I take
The one that makes me forget
Making me numb
Your lips the cure for the problems I can’t solve
You the reverse to the sins committed that night
I smile for you
And for the numbness you bring
For the morning may come and your name may be gone
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I raise a glass to you
My lips lingering along the glass
I pull away the stains along my wrists permanent
Your eyes roll to look at the mind you don't have
"To the happy couple." I smile over your bodies
I cannot tell if when you told me I was insane if you were right
I remember how cold your hands were, maybe you were already dead
I don't think you can be colder than this
The miss you dawn on me
The lies you spew like blood
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I hate the way you talk to me like you didn't break me
The way you pull me close and whisper your spells
Your hands hold me warm but your nails dig deep
My arms are marked with my decay
Like my grave I will stay
Buried alive in a shallow grave I weep
I hate you with the fire that once burned for you
I let the fire burn at my arms and legs
I let the fire feed at my soul
The papers I write
The life I had before you.
I hate you in a way that isn't hate
I love you and it feeds to the hate
I burry out the heart I kept for you
I let it shine with the clean water I pour over it
I let myself shine for you
My smile
My laugh
You heard me once
You smiled once
Every good thing would come to an end
You didn't hear me
And I didn't hear the dishonesty
I still smile
I still break
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
I promise you the most pure red
The red lips I bare
The reddest blood I see
I promise you my heart
I rip it from my chest
You make me heartless
That's fine
I love you
My arms bleed
So do my legs
My wrist
I'm half dead
I'm your dead man
I kill myself for you
I let you kill me
Try yourself
I'm ready
I've done it myself
The first when I was 9
I lay out my wrist
A smile I bare
My eyes blank
My lips dried with blood
My hair I rip out
I'm ugly
I'm weak
I'm love
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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Colbi Hagan Poem
My arms over my chest
Where you want yours to be
My back bent over my body
To have the layers fall over my chest and my stomach
My collars held closely at my neck
The rolling of my curves hidden always
Sleeves held down over the arms that hold marks of shame
Upon shame I hide my body
Upon your eyes I hide from
The ones that don't see mine
The ones that don't mention the smile I muster at eye contact
The eyes that follow my chest
My curves
Your eyes aren't a problem when I can nearly hear the thought in your head
The images
The ideas
The emotion.
Copyright © Colbi Hagan | Year Posted 2024
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