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Sunshyne Godis Poem
I loved you
I lusted you
I needed you
I trusted you
I imagined you
I imagined you to a fault
I imagined you at the expense of your reality
I lived in duality
Love and lust
Lust and love
red flags ignored
seeking connection when lonely and bored
A person who is to many people an idol
I entertained you while Idle
and your games made me entertain suicidal,thoughts
idle mind is the devil's playground
I was in a weird place and in certain ways bound
red flags were waving at me, they shouted at me, screamed at me
your red flags were singing at me, i picked them up and danced with them
and told myself as long as i can have him
but he wasn't God sent he was sent by dark forces
to validate the negative voices
and to show me my wrong choices
his red flags and my red flags would play tag.
tag you're it
tag i love you
tag you're not
tag i want you
tag I need you
Tag you're it
now im done playing so i'll leave you
red flags,lust,feelings of love but nothing solidified
wondering if it's his fault
or was it my heart that lied?
all the red flags were there
yet we couldn't stay apart for too long
no more wonder what or where we went wrong
healing
elevating to ceiling
crying through the process
as i process
whatever lesson so it may then sprout forth as a blessing
and can open my sacred garden open to the right one
not one i entertained while suffering shame, and one who plays games
and i won't mention any names
because at the end of the day it's all about
self awareness and growth
and that is what gives me hope
taking accountability for my own choices to entertain
sunshine or rain,
heartache and pain
the good or the lame
its all one and the same
but grateful for the awareness
next chapter
Copyright © Sunshyne Godis | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Sunshyne Godis Poem
Was it your demons?
or was it your ignorant decisions?
what made you not listen?
what made you lose sight of your vision?
everybody battles with their own inner struggles
exhausted from trouble & years of aimless tussles
was it your ignorance or was it your demons?
you're back and forth like the waves of the ocean, searching for reasons?
of why you've felt defeated and down trodden for so many seasons
spirit wants you to know that sometimes it's hard to stay afloat
But your answer to your question is that sometimes it is both
sometimes you knew better but did not CHOOSE better
if you tap into your power of CHOICE
you can welcome new levels of growth
and sometimes buried deep beneath what the natural eyes can see
are forces and patterns and unsolicited scenes and dreams
and principalities that create castles of strong fortitude inside of your mind
that influences how you use your shine and time
But don't lose heart there is hope
continue to cry out to God and the universe
and you must do the work
and trust me the work,hurts!
but its better than not having peace internally
tranquility
clarity and longevity
you are a blessing
being a human bein is a lesson
and sometimes the lesson feels like a gift and curse
but may you experience peace
whether its your own ignorance that's causing you suffering
or darker forces and voices
may you come to know the voice of peace.
peace.
Copyright © Sunshyne Godis | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Sunshyne Godis Poem
Wow lucky me
I came to you so free
I’m leaving you broken
Uprooted no tree
No oxygen, no nothing
Just barely even there
That’s what happens when you give yourself to
Someone who barely even cares
How could you dare?!
I’d scream from the pain
Drown in my tears you caused
And you would just stare
With a sinister pleasure in your eyes
With hands on my thighs
I suddenly realized my torment turned you on
I called on my angels to rescue me from your demons
We created something beautiful with my eggs and your semen
Have you ever desperately given yourself to Someone heart to someone waiting to pull the plug on it?
How about ready to put a knife on it after running so many games on it?
Have you ever loved somebody who wasn’t even who they claimed?
Someone who “loved” you so much in the beginning?
But hated you seconds later for everything they just praised?
Lucky me I got to see what it’s like to experience
The hell & betrayel
Of a narcissist male
Who put me in the coffin mentally & emotionally
And couldn’t wait to hammer in the nails
Didn’t blink or flinch
At the thought of what he caused
Just as long as the public image was good, all his problems were solved.
Lucky me I got to see…
I got to see that monsters are real
And that they are not only in scary movies
Or under my bed
Or hiding in the closet
Or a figment of my imagination
Or something in ancient times
But they live in our houses and our heads
And sometimes we call them “mine”
And sometimes we call them fine
And sometimes we see the signs
But we could never prepare for what’s on the other side.
If I knew then what I know now,
I would’ve hit reverse quicker and I would flee
But when you’re caught in the dark web of lies of covert narcissism your vision is blurred and you can’t fully see
But I got to see the monster fully now
And got out finally so I guess lucky me ??
Copyright © Sunshyne Godis | Year Posted 2025
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