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Gareth Stockwood Poem
Why do I bother being truthful
When everyone I meet seems so hateful
They wonder why I don’t talk about my former life
If they want to see the pain i've known
Just look into my eyes
You will see the millions of tears i’ve cried
And you wonder why I hide
Behind these dark and lonely eyes.
I’m alone because it’s the only time I feel safe
I still run and hide in that special place
I feel like a child
Afraid of the dark
I don’t want sympathy
And I don’t need any more sorrow
When I go out i am tall and proud
I stand out in the crowd
Then they see these lonely dark eyes
And they think to them selves
Why a young man cries.
At this time, life is good as I crack a smile
It’s a cover for this lonely man inside
I’ve been that low I often wish I had died
When I went away to fight for my pride
I’m still fighting
A personal fight battling with nightmares every night
I want to tell people how I really feel inside
But will they break down and cry
We all feel sorrow we all know pain
But why is mine, here to stay
I have fought off illness
But still I hurt inside
I’ve got my life organised
Please what ever you do
Don’t ask me what goes on behind these dark and lonely eyes
Because I will only smile and tell you lies
You wont believe the secrets hidden behind these lonely eyes
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
I hear your voice when mine is drowned
I hear your voice crawling over the ground
I feel your breath when i am cold
I feel your warmth when i am longing for home.
You sheltered me when days were cold
You lifted me when I was feeling old
I followed the wind which carried your voice
I followed for many years not knowing why, or giving a choice.
Here I am safe and well with a story of love and I am eager to tell.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2012
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
I recently went to see my doctor. I suffer with a degenerative disease in my spine, only after
a car accident did the disease wake up and its been down hill all the way for me. A recent
doctors appoinment reassured something I was thinking about. He gave me a tablet to take
in the night time, it shuts down part of my nervous system so I can sleep. The doctor didnt
even examine me he looked at me with sorryful eyes gave me tablets and let me be on my
way.
I thought fare enough there isnt much he can do for me at the moment anyway, but when I
got home I decided that I would research the operation I need for me to save the use of my
legs. The operation is called A spinal fusion, sounds nasty, and looks quite nasty. All the
information I could really get was after the operation what to expect and what tablets you
are offered to help with the pain.
Not one person wrote a article about how good or bad the operation is. What I found out for
myself is that if there is a pill to help, people in general will except it and take it without
question or reason.
Instead of taking a tablet and shutting up, im going to nag until i get some answers, because
27 months ago I was a young fit healthy man. I have served in the army and worked all of
my adult life. I have been admitted to hospital a few years back with some thyroid problem I
recovered from that all good and well. If I had this debilating disease lurking in my spine,
how on earth did did it slip past the radar, when I had my full medical assessment for the
army or random check ups with my GP.
Now I have a future full of agony and pain whilst trying to get use to my disability, everytime
I have been to hospital with problems caused through issues with my health, I have been
given tablets and sent on my way. I wish someone would let let me know how the health
service in general gets away with it.
I must have this operation this year and its through my claim against a not so clever driver,
my operation is being paid for private, but when I had my accident I was admitted to a
normal NHS hospital, and if the staff in that hospital had done thier job which they are trained
and paid to do, I would be alot better than I am at the present moment, neglect
mistreatment and overwhelming sense of idiocracy, left me disabled and feeling let down by
the same people who I fought to protect in the army. Where is the justice in that? take care
all and dont except excuses from anyone. Get the answers you deserve.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
you cannot see me for who I am
You only see what I have become
you do not see a proud soldier or a family man
you see a broken man
limping, strugling beaten by life.
You cannot see me
you can see my disability
I am more than a limp
I am more than a crutch.
Look at me without my limp
look at me and see me
I am still human and dont need sympathy
I just want to be seen.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
I sit here all alone
Gives me time to ponder on what ive done
Ive known pain ive known loss
Ive even known someone take a shot at my boss
When I get up in the morning I think of the night before
Makes me feel old because the nightmares never go
I never knew someone like me should feel life so incomplete
When I was young I used to think of a career in my head
One with guns and tanks
Me being the one with medals pinned to my chest
How far different life is I must confess.
I used to dream of telling the grand kids stories of war
Of the famous battles we won
Now I know what its like
I can’t even look someone in the eye
Without the fear in going to cry
I still live in fear
If that day comes
When one of mine
Say I want to go of and play with the guns.
How can I say no
When my own father said that to me before
He said why do you want to go to war
Fight in a country far away from this
Fight for people that don’t know you exist.
If I had only listened to a wise old man
And not gone away to that far away land
I would go to sleep every night
Without the dreams
Of why did these people die?
Now I am older and have a bit more sense and alarm
I no the answer to question above
I’m not telling anyone why I done what I have
It’s a secret going to my grave
Of young men strong and brave
Now the years have past
Kids grown up stopped nagging at last
Of to college to further their mind
Wonder if they ever think what goes on behind these tired old eyes
Thank goodness they can’t see what’s buried in my mind.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
I just recently read on another site, that a young girl wrote that all soldiers are scum and
bullies. Full of anger I write this because the small minded fools like that, give our service
people a bad name. I would like that person to wait until november the 11th, and stand in
front of the war veterans, and tell them what they fought for was pointless. I would want her
to tell the families of the fallen that thier loved one died for no apparent reason. This young
girl also said that anyone that serves in the forces cant make it in the real world, this is why
they join up. I just wish all the small minded fools like this would just speak to soldiers or
veterans to gain the knowledge to make a real assumption. Yes freedom of speech gives us
a voice but when that voice runs down our soldiers when they fight abroad for our freedom,
this is one of them times when voices shouldnt be heard, our thoughts should be with the
families and friends of the fallen. To anyone who cares, our heroes fight for our country and
our democracy in the most unforgiving circumstances believable to man. Why should anyone
come home from war to be told that thier friends died for nothing, and to be classed as a
bully for doing thier job, well not just a job, doing the most honourable thing anyone can do.
to all soldiers and ex soldiers im proud of my service I done for my country, and I salute
each and everyone of you, you work hard for no thanks and no reward.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
The problem with war is not just confined to the front lines where the battle rages on. A
single shot can be traced all the way back home. For instance a young man stood on the
front line takes a single shot to his stomach, the patrol he is on is down one man, it takes two
pilots and 2 medics to collect the injured solier and take him to a feild hospital, where a team
fight to save his life. One of the medics, who work on him knows the injured soldier very
well. He feels distraught working to save the life of his friend. The young soldier's life can not
be saved and passes away. When the medic telephones home to his loving family he tells
them of the sad news that his friend has died doing the job he loved.
The family of the deceased war hero get an unsuspected knock on the door which, breaks
their hearts. One shot of a gun, one round, one family is destroyed, another family feels the
loss knowing thier loved one fought but couldnt save the life of his friend, and a full company
of heroes feeling overwhelmed with sadness for thier fallen comrade, and a growing fuel of
hate for an unforgiving enemy.
This is an example of one hero falling, and what effect it has had on so many peoples lives.
Imagine the domino effect when over one hundred soldiers have died in one conflict, and
remember there is two war zones at present, Afghanistan, Iraq and dont forget the peace
keeping missions.
How many have to die or get left severely injured or disabled before someone stands up and
says no more?
War is not particular about religion, in most religions murder and hate is forbidden, but when
a religious man fires his rifle at an enemy, does he say to himself forgive me God for i have
sinned? War does not care for religion. For all of those who have been in a war, who have
stood in the heart of a foreign land tight fisted without fear, i commend you for we all fought
an ageless war against an unforgiving enemy.
Do we all know what we are fighting for, not the lies the politicians bring, i mean the cold
hard truth about why our government want that far away land. Would you still go and fight?
All i can say is a few hundred men and women have paid the ultimate sacrifice for what i can
make is oil, is it really worth it? and how long have this got to go on?
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
Tormented
A crude soul remained, of a life of a hero silent but brave. Tormented with dreams of days
gone past, tormented of lives of whose destiny didn’t surpass. It wasn’t a gun or a knife that
altered his way; it was the reckless humanitarian way. To watch kids as hard as veterans to
watch a country broke but resilient and brave. This changed the mindset of a selfish man this
changed the outlook, of a spiteful man, a man trying to survive the darkest desires of a sick
spiteful way. Not murder but genocide, not ethnic cleansing but a deviant sick mindset of a
twisted soul, breaded out to an unsuspecting nation. A nation without a goal but bloody
violence, in its toll.
How I long to see him there, standing toe to toe with those who are left reeling with they’re
despair.
The torture remained taking innocence along in its way, taking lives filling graves all for the
name which, the deviance betrayed. To be human the soul remains, when tortured and
beaten beyond repair, how can a soul remain. How can they stand tall when all that is left is
an empty black hole, with memories which once were good, all turning sour as they knew
they would, ruining life in such a sick violent way. I see those tortured souls, not giving up
not letting go. They are in his dreams they are in his past hopefully this felling of hurt will
succumb and not last.
Civil unrest remains in the heart, not in soul.
How I wish to see them there, unarmed and afraid, the same way they left the innocent who
remained, left in the darkest coldest of days in a country so broke but so brave.
Sleep well tonight for you hold the flag of your country, in your eyes, power of all nations in
your arms, for you we salute our proudest day, it was not what we done but what you gave,
this honour and resilience is what made you all so brave.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2011
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
Here today because of you.
I try harder each and every day
I try to be a better man
I intend to be good
I intend to say I love you
each and every time you smile.
You have gave me the strenth I needed
You helped me when I was broke
You filled my soul full of hope.
I am today a better man than I ever imagined I could be
You rescued me from myself
I love you and thankyou, You are my the keeper to my soul.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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Gareth Stockwood Poem
An ode to my friend
whos tears were invisable to us until the end
he cried in silence
he would rather be ignored
but we miss him
he will always be adored.
He cried for us in an silent voice
he cried for us
without giving a choice
we would of helped him
each and every day.
We cried that day he went away
we will forever cry at his grave.
he will live within us forever young and brave.
An ode to my friend
wishing you farewel
goodbye sleep well.
Copyright © Gareth Stockwood | Year Posted 2009
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