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Sandisiwe Yengeni Poem
Children of absent fathers walk around with empty baskets in their hearts, waiting for anything that resembles love to fill them up.
A lesson in love:
Your eyes are kind and beckoning, you must be a version of love
You are present. Here. This is more than I've ever known, therefore you are more than enough. And yet...
I woke up to your half-baked presence, swallowed my questions and would not let the vomit of my grumblings come out.
You are here.
That is more than I have ever known.
Daughters of absent fathers wear their feelings like oversized coats with deep pockets.
Can you not tell?
How I am able to hold your darkness without being consumed by it.
Oh darling, I have rinsed my soul in ink, drenched my heart in black so I am resident in the dark.
I have walked a mile without light. I've lived my share of suffering and hid it deep within these pockets.
These days, I cannot even tell where yours ends and mine begins.
Questions on love:
Did you know, daughters of dead men - in whatever form death may come - look for faces that most resemble or least resemble their fathers.
They say this is love, an antithesis of death.
This is presence, orbiting each other's existence though it choke the life out of me. Holding on tight though I choke the life out of it.
Tata, ndinjenjenje nguwe.
Masirhaxe phantsi kwalamanzi sobabini.
Ngoba kaloku nguwe umenzi, ndim umgcini.
Copyright © Sandisiwe Yengeni | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Sandisiwe Yengeni Poem
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee from the genesis.
Blessed was our encounter. Sovereignty spoke and we had no choice but to listen.
Our bodies, seemingly understanding the magnitude of the moment, locked hands and lips became the seal.
Though marred by sin and self, I am all the better for it.
I love thee in the process.
This friendship, so anchoring in the tussle of blooming and cocooning and laughter and hurt and distance and time and chance. We knew not what we were given but you were smart enough not to taint it.
Then love arrived. And grew. And grows.
You, the captain of our ship treaded these uncharted seas with the utmost care.
A tenderness that protects yet prunes.
We vowed to try and try we still.
Thank you for being intentional then and now.
Still steady at the wheel, with many waves and storms we’ve passed and mannier ahead, our ship has a glut of seas to chart yet still.
I love thee in the turbulence, as we hold each other’s hands firm.
I love thee when hurt and pride and self stand in the way, yearning to yield to meekness.
I love thee in the misapprehensions. A thing of treasure, you are worth every frustrating conversation.
I love thee in the shallow. When beauty is the standard, you win every olympic.
I love thee in the stillness, when words cannot suffice. A look, a touch, a note are but a few of the supplements.
I love thee deliberately. A choosing on the daily. I love thee in the becoming.
I love thee in the forward. A thing of hope, I shall love thee better then.
I love thee more than I did then, a now greater than yesteryear.
The future shines all the brighter with the thought of you in it. What bliss, it fuels my love all the more!
Copyright © Sandisiwe Yengeni | Year Posted 2021
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