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Cassidy Trix Poem
Life is nothing but a sea, a sea of pain and misery. Full of lying and endless crying. Endless pretending and make believe that everything is not what it seems.
Putting on a mask of a smile, just for a little while. Only for it to fade and turn to gray by the end of the day. This is not what life was supposed to be.
Shattered dreams tearing apart at the seams. Broken apart in misery
Copyright © Cassidy Trix | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Trix Poem
"The looking glass"
Look closely and what do you see? A hopeless addict with hollow eyes, no emotion on their face. A shadow of their former self? Selfishly throwing away everyone they ever loved for a quick fix?
They think they're on the top of the world, when really they're fading away, becoming a ghost of who they used to be. They see beauty and power while everyone else sees a powerless, washed up ghost of who they used to be.
Their friends no longer recognize the person looking back at them, they remember the bright and happy person who used to love life, and it makes them feel terrible for the stranger that looks back at them. The things they do chase their friends away and they don't even see it until its too late.
Their siblings see a complete stranger taking over the one they love most, and they can't do anything to stop it. The things that fly from the mouth of the one they love so much, makes them wonder if the person they once knew is even in them anymore. They wonder if the loving sibling they knew can ever come back from the monster they've became.
Their parents watch the destruction of their child, wishing that they could go back iin time and make things right and keep this from happening. They cry themselves to sleep as they remember the person their baby used to be and what they've turned into. A total stranger of a person.
The victim of it all just sits their and allows their life to destruct right in front of them, doing nothing to stop it. Because they think that this poison is making them feel ok, when it's really robbing them blind of everything they ever had.
It's destroying their soul, making it harder and harder to ever become the person they used to be. They hardly even recognize themselves in the mirror anymore, as they just keep on poisoning themselves, from the inside out.
This is the power of addiction.
Copyright © Cassidy Trix | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Trix Poem
"Insecurities and scars, in this messed up world that's how I got it all. Endless sadness, endless worthlessness and wishing the emptiness would fade. I wish I could go back in time to stop myself from making that mistake.
Because all I am now is anger and misery. Disgusted with the woman I've became. I'm absolutely nothing compared to what felt like it was just yesterday. I've let myself fall and now I can't get back up.
I'm sinking further and further into this hole. I don't know if I even want to come back up from this dark depressing hole that has become my life.
Oh how amazing and horrifying just one year of time can make your life."
Copyright © Cassidy Trix | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Trix Poem
I come to you with the lie of making you feel better, when all I'll do is bring you pain and misery. I promise you beauty, but I'll take that away from you, that much is true.
You think I'll make your problems go away, when all I'll do is make them worse. I'll take you away from your friends, your family to. In the beginning you'll feel amazing and in the end you'll be a ghost of who you used to be.
Just one try and you'll belong to me. Do you know me? My name is methamphetamine.
Copyright © Cassidy Trix | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Trix Poem
It's been four years since I submitted my last poem, I was only one year into my addiction to methamphetamine. I'm currently five years in and boy oh boy do I have some perspective to give
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You see the crazy eyed girl in the corner of the room, eyes completely vacant when they used to shine so bright? She can feel the stares from everybody in the room as her body involuntarily twitches and spasms by the time she's taken her 4th hit because the meth has started giving her partial epileptic seizures,
she can feel her mind rotting away even though she's tried desperately to hold onto the immense amount of intelligence she once had only 5 years ago. She just stares blankly into the phone because if she looks up and sees even one snicker on anybody's lips she'll go ing ballistic
Once a girl with an IQ of 170, now she can barely read a page of paper because her eyes won't quit darting across the page and she can barely form a coherent sentance when she's high.
The only thing she's seemed to retain from her former life is her youthful appearance amazingly, you'd think that that would've been the first thing to go
As she sits in misery day by day, Crystal just continues to take and take even though theirs basically nothing left
She wants to get clean but everytime without fail she gives in by day 6 and has to have another hit or she could just ing kill somebody
All alone in the shadows of her mind, she gives herself so much grief every single day for turning to this lifestyle.
So as her eyes get crazier and crazier overtime, you're probably better off just not asking why, because at this point shes convinced that anybody who shows even a spark of interest or care is simply out to get something in the end and has ulterior motives
This isn't the life she ever pictured for herself......hell of her 15 year old self knew where'd she'd be in only 10 years, she wouldn't have gave a about anything or anyone feeling guilty, she'd have blown her brains out, hell she could've just hi ad her son 2 months after her 15th birthday and if that would've been when she'd seen her future she still would've chosen to blow her brains out as long as it meant that she didn't have to live a life as miserable as the one she lives now........24 years old 2 kids that she never gets to see because her addiction is so bad and nobody thinks she will ever beat addiction..she don't even
Copyright © Cassidy Trix | Year Posted 2024
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