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Rita Paige Poem
College is the time to get away from parents
Getting an education at day, going to house parties at night
And it was one of those house parties that I met my love
He was standing there so handsome and all his might
I didn’t want to go
Having to be around havoc and chaos wasn’t my style
But when I saw him, I suddenly felt helpless
And he made that moment feel worth while
I wasn’t as skinny as the other girls
I was a dirty house maid compared to them
At least he didn’t care about that
Because I was the only special one to him
After that night, I got his number written down
I held on to it tight and close to my heart
As I imagined a future with him by my side
No one could ruin this moment, tear it apart
Call me crazy or a fool
But it was something that ignited me deep inside
He was everything I ever wanted in a man
And these gentlemen are rare to come by
Our first date was beautiful
It was beyond compare
He took me out to a fancy restaurant and got me flowers
This was something that I wasn’t prepared
As we were seated, and dinner was served
He kept looking at the skinny hot girls that would pass
I would ask him why he would stare at the them
He would day I am his only one and turn away fast
As our relationship progressed, so did his ideals on the perfect girlfriend
He told me to do my hair more often
And a little makeup would suit me well
I looked so beautiful, Like Marilyn Monroe on a budget
But he started to take it farther
He would have me put on these hurtful heels to wear
Once I complained about them being so tight and hurtful
He made me take the bus and I didn’t have enough for the fare
But this is love
He cares for me
Everything he does for my good
Even if most people don’t understand and see
One day he brought over this tight dress
I couldn’t fit in it and it started to stretch
He gave me a sign
And a look of a wretch
“This is love
All that extra weight is starting to interfere
I want what’s best for you
You are going to be perfect my dear”
That what he said, and I did as tell
He was able to get me a gym membership
I work out every day to get fit
So, I wouldn’t lose the relationship that I had finally got a grip
Of everything that I did, he still wasn’t pleased
I had lowered 20 pounds in two weeks
I looked thinner than a twig bug
But on our next date, he said he could still see the weight in my cheeks
Copyright © Rita Paige | Year Posted 2020
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Rita Paige Poem
His tough love broke me down
His tough love put everything in perspective
His tough love made me better
His tough love brought out perfection
And if it takes me lying in this bed
So be it
It gave him satisfaction
Even though its not what I wanted it to be
He was the manual I followed for love
And everything I followed had me dead
But I saw the grin in his face
So I would follow the script over and over again
But could have things been different?
What would happen if I hadn’t gazed in his bling?
Would it created an effect?
Or would it have not done a thing?
Tough love is bittersweet
And it takes and it takes and takes
Everything out of me for love
But it never make anything beautiful, it would never create
His love was toxic
His love was addicting
I always followed him at every beat
I called it torture, he called uplifting
I was with him in the high
I was with him in the low
Now when I hit rock bottom
He said he has to go
No person found it hard to see
The relationship that we were in wasn’t right
And after he destroyed everything in my life
He decides to leave, and I don’t put up a fight
I am tired of this
Tied down to the bed is the consequence
He left me here sick to die
And went looking for a girl that was a monument
But it love right?
Destroying, hating, belittling
Only person h could love was himself
But everything he done to me was hating
I hate that he tricked me
I hate that I had failed
But not failed to his every obligation and demand
But failed to listen what was always in my hand
I made my voice go mute
Ii stored it and boxed it up in the shelf
Everything I did was for him
I fought for him and never for myself
When everything is said and done
It’s the scars that stay
Its up to me to decide whether I want to keep going forward
Or letting them keep me at bay
I left the hospital looking like me again
The old skeleton puppet was gone
It was up to me to decide
And I want to move on
I look at myself now
I realize I am better that I have ever been
I have found that joy and light
That existed in me from the thick and thin
He was toxic
He was controlling
And what do we do with trash
Well, you know where its going
I have found love
And I have fallen head over heels
Who is that person you might ask?
Well, that person is me
Copyright © Rita Paige | Year Posted 2020
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Details |
Rita Paige Poem
I took the weight off my checks
He said he couldn’t hug me because of my hips
I wore waistbands to get an hourglass shape
Then he said he couldn’t see the red tint on my lips
I did more makeup, a more strenuous workout
But this is love
He sees the better, the perfection in me
He only soars high, sees up above
Everything I did was for him
I cut my friends for him
I cut meals for him
I cut everything until it went dim
During a workout session, I blacked out
I woke up in a hospital with an IV in my arm
The nurse came in to up the dose of saline
She asked me what I had done to cause so much harm
She handed me a mirror and saw a reflection
A thin, pale, skeleton figure stared in my eyes
With a weight as light as a feather
I looked like meal for the flies
My boyfriend came into the room
He asked for permission to enter from the nurse
She left; it was us alone
He sat down next to me, removing my purse
I was so happy to see him
He would know how to cheer me up, he’s a pro
As I touched his warm hands with mine
He took his off and let go
“You are not the girl I met
You are not perfect
Let’s admit it, what happened was bad
But you, you look tragic”
“I am seeing another girl
And you honestly deserve it
You couldn’t love up to my standards
You couldn’t be perfect”
“The other girl is so beautiful
She is a skinny, beautiful, just how I like them
She needs little work to be perfection
You shouldn’t be compared to her; you wouldn’t reach her hem”
“I would wish you the best forward
But you are far from it
I am moving out and packing my stuff
So, don’t expect to see me in the apartment”
He gave me a sigh
And let the room with me alone to think
Why when things were going good in my life
They all must go down the sink
But this is love, isn’t it?
You find someone who can bring the best of you
And through sweat and tears
You work hard for that reality to become true
They tell you what’s wrong
So you can make those fixes
And when it is all done
Something else comes in to dimiss it
And you are sitting there thinking I am crazy
But I know he did it for me
And love isn’t always pink roses
Its tough, bittersweet
Copyright © Rita Paige | Year Posted 2020
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