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Cassidy Mercer Poem
It’s funny how you think I care,
As if your glare
Puts me in despair.
I’m well aware,
That you think I’m the monster,
But I don’t have a care to spare.
It seems that kindness is rare,
And you rather conjure nightmares,
While throwing out words that taste bitter.
This place is covered in blood from your massacre.
You are queen of hate, the worse kind of leader.
You left your wounds to fester.
It got to the point where it infected the others,
While you stood back watching from your tower.
But you never learned, doing the same things over and over.
I couldn’t handle being trapped in your lair.
So, I broke through your border,
Creating a grande departure.
Your game was unfair,
Filled with sour words and chambers of torture,
The screams turning to echoes as I ran further.
The world finally gained color,
As I ran faster.
But the bitter taste on my tongue lingered.
I think we would be better off playing solitaire.
Because I have grown tired of being walked over,
And dancing around your anger as it grew denser.
I had no energy left to play the role of the defender,
While you got to be the jabber,
Drawing blood with only your cruel, rapid fire snicker.
You may be the supervisor,
But I have grown wiser.
And your home is full of dishonor.
I’m the organizer and philosopher,
While you are outnumbered.
And from what I’ve heard, you have a lot to pay for.
I’m the problem, or so you declare.
But I’m not the one having an affair.
I’m not the one trying to cover up my ugly nature with sugar.
You are a traitor,
Trying to beat me down like a hammer.
But you’re just mad because I’m no longer your prisoner.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
I am broken.
Every bone in my body cracks and splinters, piercing through muscle and skin. My lungs close in on my heart, blood oozing from the invisible fractures. I itch, skin peeling of in flakes and falling to the ground like confetti. My hair falls out in tangled clumps. My head hurts as my skull shrinks, squeezing my brain until all my veins pop.
I crumble to the ground in an unrecognizable heap.
I am a broken a thing, falling through their fingers like sawdust.
They turn a blind eye, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling, favoring the bliss of ignorance. They disregard me as they brush the remaining bits from their fingers.
I am a broken thing.
Falling into a pile of nothingness.
It’s as if I were never here. They don’t even bother to sweep up the mess. They trample through me instead, grinding all of the pieces into the ground, smothering me into oblivion.
I am nothing.
All I ever wanted to be was something. But wishing for something isn’t enough to manifest it into truth. I do not exist to be loved, but to be destroyed. They made sure of that.
But I am not to be forgotten.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
You pulled apples from the tree.
A tree that was not yours or mine.
“They aren’t ours to take. Let’s go,” I plead.
But you just threw a smile at me that was so divine.
I couldn’t say no when you look at me with that
shine in your eyes.
So, I grabbed your hand as we slowly walked away-
Bug eaten apples weighing down our lies.
My heart was in dismay because my body couldn’t help but obey.
We ended up at a fence surrounding a horse pasture.
You held out an apple, beckoning the horses closer.
I knew this would only end in disaster,
But the thrill filling my veins didn’t want this to be over.
When you asked if you should climb the fence-
I smiled and said, “You’re already breaking rules, why not?”
I watched as you feed stolen apples to a horse that wasn’t yours, in suspense.
When you waved me over, I shrugged, acting like I wasn’t afraid of getting caught.
I placed my hands on the top of the fence-
And pulled myself up,
Wondering how my morals got so complex.
Because once I got to the top, I did not hesitate to jump.
You placed an apple in my hand.
And instructed me to bend down.
My heart beat against my chest, unable to withstand the demand.
All I wanted was to turn back around.
But as I tried to stand back up, you placed a hand on my shoulder,
Pressing my knees into the ground.
You always had to be the controller.
I really don’t understand why you were crowned.
I looked up at you,
Your smile plastered to your lips.
I couldn’t tell if you liked the view.
Or if you were just playing by the script.
Either way, I was afraid.
Because I didn’t want to be a thief.
I knew then that I shouldn’t have stayed.
My hands shook in disbelief.
Because in that moment, I realized it was too late to leave.
And that you had me right where you wanted me.
I believed the lies you weaved.
In shame, my tears fell to the ground, deciding it was time to flee.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
CRASH!
The mirror cracks and breaks,
Pieces falling onto the floor, onto my feet, onto the vanity.
I look down at my hand…
BLOOD.
Blood running from my knuckles, down my fingers.
DRIP
DRIP
DRIP
D
R
I
P
P
I
N
G
Onto the floor, onto my feet, onto the vanity.
I punched the mirror…
AGAIN.
But this time it broke.
I don’t feel the pain, that must be a good thing.
I don’t feel the pain, that must be a bad thing.
I don’t feel the pain, and I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing.
I turn on the faucet and shove my hands under the lukewarm water,
The washed-out red water swirls
AROUND
And
AROUND
Until it gets sucked down the drain.
GURGL
GURGL
The life getting sucked right out
OF ME.
I look up into the destroyed mirror.
The reflection looking back at me is
BROKEN
And missing
PIECES.
How accurate, I think.
The reflection never lies.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
I cannot win this battle.
You pull at the loose treads until I unravel.
You point your fingers, calling me absurd things,
While claiming you’re king.
But you’re not the one who built this castle.
So, stop trying to cage me in like I’m your cattle.
These cruel words and wicked smiles sting.
You don’t have to keep showing me your wings.
I already know that you’re more than I’ll ever be.
But that doesn’t mean you should underestimate
me.
You act like you know all my colors,
But if you looked closer, I wonder what you would
discover?
It doesn’t matter that you are on top of the food
chain now.
Because once this is over, you’ll fall all the way
down.
You and me, we’re not that different.
We both have the potential to be magnificent or to
get caught in the undercurrent.
We all hurt.
And we all end up in the dirt.
So, why do you add more pain to my heartache
When I’m already about to break?
Tell me, what would you do?
If I fell to pieces at your feet and there wasn’t
enough glue?
Would you be happy if I disappeared into thin air?
Or would you swear you would never do it again in
your prayer?
You need to mend your wounds.
Otherwise we are all doomed.
I hold out my hand in truce.
But you slap it away and use your past as an excuse.
I stoop to your level and strike back.
And I blame it on the cracks in my mask.
Tell me, will this ever end?
Will we ever call each other friends?
Or does high school never end?
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
I have tried to TEAR MYSELF APART.
Picking at my skin until it bleeds.
Pulling at the extra skin around my waist as if that simple act would make it disappear.
I debated wearing a bag over my head just to cover up my face.
I held a razor to my wrist and wondered if I should pull it across my skin and down my arm.
I just wanted there to be proof on the outside so they couldn’t tell me that my scars are invalid just because they are invisible to the naked eye.
But I never did those things.
As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t tear myself into pieces that would resemble my heart and mind.
No matter how many extremes I took, I would still appear whole, allowing people to tell me that my pain would never add up to theirs like it's some kind of contest.
But I decided that I hurt enough the way it is.
Enough people made me feel invisible and unwanted.
Enough people mutilated me in ways that will never scab over and heal with time.
So I set the bag on fire, and dropped the razor into the garbage can, and waved goodbye to all the tormentors as I ascended the ladders leading into the sky.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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Cassidy Mercer Poem
Sometimes I wish I could defy atoms
so I could TEAR MYSELF APART into
O b L i v I o N
and
d i s a p p e a r
right before their eyes.
Copyright © Cassidy Mercer | Year Posted 2020
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