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Lillian Storer Poem
Swallowed fear down my throat
In the whirlpool of my stomach
Striking lighting in my chest
Sending earthquakes along my skin
Hair stands on end. Alert.
Fear.
Draining.
Fears a draining thing.
A fight for my sanity against evil that doesnt exist.
Labored breath fills the room
That slams into darkness
I.cant.breathe.
A stale room filled with the scent of my own tears and sweat.
Is this what dying is?
Am i dying?
Living?
Im living each day with another panic attack
in my mind,
im breaking.
I cant stop shaking
I just wanna go home
To simpler times
Wanna rewind
A place where everyday isnt dark
But instead light is shining
Where i wake up in the morning without
Fear.
Fear.
Fear is draining
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
And how i always said id Let the water take me,
Im begging now.
Drown me beautiful ocean.
Let your waves tie around my ankles and tug me under.
let me watch the bubbles rise up as i sink ever so gracefully.
Seaweed tying knots around my lungs,
Consistently aching in such a bittersweet way.
Sand meets my toes that dig softly into the ground as my back
settles on the ocean floor.
Too dark to see the particles blurring in my eyesight before me.
Light filters through in certain spots,
The only thing left filling my vision.
my mind succumbs to the deafening quiet.
No more air to release into the sea bearing an anvil on my chest,
A tomb i built only for myself.
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
Forgetful baby
Wallows in the night
Screaming out
With dry eyes.
Bruised up child
Cleaning up her sorrows
Before morning comes and questions are asked
Baby girl forced to give in
Teething on her bed sheets
Scratched her thighs
With greasy nails
Water droplets cold on her forhead drowning in the tub thats meant to cleanse
In a room filled with the scent of bile, liquor, and shampoo.
Its over.
Its quiet.
For tonight at least.
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
Black like ink, slimy gooey terror
Marking trails across the floor.
A dash across the concrete leaving panic in your wake.
My minds like putty, adjusting to your story youve all but written into reality.
Pills slide down my throat
To force you away
But you come back
Everytime
With a feeling of vegence.
I cant help
But to submit to your presence
Cowering in the dimension you reside
My heart melts to the floor, scattered feelings in the shadows in the walls.
Uncertainty in my mind
Choking me silent
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
Its been two years
Living in a daze
Im living well
My only regret is you cant see me now
Flourishing under all the things you taught me
I hope your up there watching with delight
As i take on this nearly apocalyptic world
It would be selfish to say i want you back
As the world crumbles in defeat.
But to say i wouldnt have you here with me every step of the way is a lie.
You'd love the people ive let into my life
And you'd be proud to see
Im using the skills you taught me, everyday single day.
I miss you dearly
.L
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
My nana always says "lilian, make sure you buy yourself some really good shoes, because your feet are gonna have to carry you for the rest of your life!"
But recently i was giving words of encouragement to someone, and realized the same could be said about your mind.
Its one of the few things, if the only, that will be with you forever. So you need to be kind to it, give it sleep, and food and water.
Be nice to your brain, encourage yourself and hopefully learn to love yourself.
Because your only guaranteed yourself for eternity
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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Lillian Storer Poem
I used to hear myself
In the back of my head
Telling myself the most aweful things
But ever since you showed up
The whispers have slowly quieted and replaced
With every word of encouragement you shower me with.
I feel like i can finally breathe again
Copyright © Lillian Storer | Year Posted 2020
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