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Best Poems Written by Gary Hill

Below are the all-time best Gary Hill poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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The Santa Shuffle

Santa’s helpers, take a break
From the toys they like to make
And just for love and pure funs sake
They dance the Santa Shuffle

Rudolph with his nose so bright
Likes to dance all through the night
A reindeer dancing’s a funny sight
While doing the Santa Shuffle.

Frosty Snowman comes to stay
With the elves he loves to play
And just before he melts away
He does the Santa Shuffle

Mrs Claus is in the pink
Gives her husband a cheeky wink
Perhaps she’s had too much to drink
She’s doing the Santa Shuffle

Santa, resting by the fire
Thinking that he may retire
Suddenly has the strange desire
To do the Santa Shuffle

So why don’t we all take this chance?
To do this festive yearly dance
Mistletoe, wine, who knows, romance
Let's do the Santa Shuffle

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

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Daisy the Red Nosed Cow

This is the story of how Daisy the cow
Became one of Santa’s reindeer
Poor Rudolph was down with the flu
So Santa said “Daisy, come here”

“I’ll put a splash of red paint on your snout
And for one night you’ll be able to fly”
And sure enough, with a glowing red nose
Daisy shot up into the sky

Santa fashioned some antlers from branches
From a nearby fallen dead tree
“Well now Daisy, you’ve come up a treat,
No one will notice the difference” said he

Daisy was ever so nervous
At how the night might possibly go
Especially as the weather took a turn for the worse
And started to heavily snow

But Daisy needn’t have worried
As the night built a head up of steam
Delivering gifts to boys and girls
The night flew by like a dream

That is when Daisy awoke
In her field, that was just by a stream
Daisy realized with heavy heart
That it HAD all just been a dream

Come the time for milking
The farmer looked at Daisy and froze
“Daisy, what have you been up to?
Why have you got a red nose?”

Daisy of course did not answer
Inside she just secretly smiled
Knowing that she had, played her part
In bringing happiness to every child

And in the far off distance
She could hear some carollers singing
And every now again she caught on the wind
The sound of sleigh bells a ringing.

***MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE***

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

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Not Just Another Fairytale

Hopalong was a frog
Who dreamed of a better life
Dreaming of a kiss from a princess
Who he could take for a wife
 
Now, dreams don’t often come true
But this was his lucky day
It just so happened quite by chance
That a princess just came his way
 
The princess was being pestered
By some bothersome dragonflies
While she was trying to picnic
Hopalong heard her loud cries
 
Dragonflies, it has to be said
Was this frogs favourite meal
“I’ll get rid of those dragonflies” he said
“For a kiss, do we have a deal?”
 
The princess did hurriedly agree
So Hopalong gobbled up every one
It was only a matter of seconds
Before every last one had gone
 
“I’ll give you a kiss” said the princess
“But, first give your mouth a good rinse”
Hopalong did and then came the kiss
And POW! he turned into a prince
 
Now, you may think that the end of the story
Sad to say, this was not the case
Sure, the relationship bloomed for a while
But, Hopalong just lacked the grace
 
The king and queen were not happy
They did not approve of his past
Hated the fact he was once a frog
The relationship was doomed not to last
 
Meal times, they were the worst
The posh nosh he grew to despise
Oh! for such simple pleasures
Like munching on small bugs and flies
 
Then the arguments started
Over their planned wedding day
Hopalong invited his parents
The princess alas said “no way”
 
That was the final straw
The relationship they decided to ditch
Hopalong packed up his belongings
And sought out the towns local witch

The witch with her wrinkles and crinkles
And warty skin and long nose
Said “A prince wishing to become a frog?”
“Well, it makes for a change, I suppose”
 
The witch mixed up a strange potion
That included some animal brain
Hopalong took just the one gulp
And POW! was a frog once again
 
He thanked the witch and hopped off
Back to the place of which he was fond
Who needed to be a prince anyway?
When he was already king of the pond
 
Now, Hopalong is completely contended
The happiest he’s been by far
The moral is, it’s alright to dream
But, be happy with just who you are

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

Details | Gary Hill Poem

Succubus

I cannot move, I cannot see
This thing I know is haunting me
Beads of sweat upon my head
Maybe I died, maybe I’m dead

Am I awake? I’m awake it seems
Maybe one of those lucid dreams
Tingles up and down my spine
Something sits on this bed of mine

Then this thing comes into sight
Heart explodes in complete fright
I see her now as she comes to rest
This haggard crone upon my chest

Those blackened eyes, that evil stare
I pinch myself, but she’s still there
No, this is real, it is not fake
My soul this thing intends to take

Crushing, pushing, pressing down
This frightening spectre with evil frown
Then just as suddenly as she came
She is gone, am I insane?

Then people finally hear my screams
As I am shaken from my dreams
Yes dreams, that’s all they can surmise
Marks on my chest, suggest otherwise.

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

Details | Gary Hill Poem

The Day the Devil Hacked God's Computer

The devil did hack God’s computer
And gave it a nasty virus
Now when he tries to upload the sun
All that pops up is, Miley Cyrus
 
God asked “If I could try fix it”
The program, I couldn’t find
Just funny pictures of cats and dogs
And a contract from death, still unsigned
 
Now, I have been trying for ages
But a solution I still cannot see
I’ve reset it to factory settings
Tried deleting all history
 
For now, it seems we are stuck
With Miley staring down from the sky
Men, young and old, so confused
Not knowing whether to laugh or to cry
 
Now, Miley’s OK… up to a point
But she hardly brings the world light
If God doesn’t find a solution soon
We’ll be condemned to eternal night
 
Though God, has at last had an idea
Probably the best one he’s had
He’s going to run the world from now on
From an app, on his personal I-pad
 
Though God really should have known better
Protected his precious P.C.
God should have had a safe password
God, should have installed McAfee

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

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A Brief Snippet In Time

“Don’t blink or you’ll miss it” said God
“Miss what?” Old father time replied
“Ah, you blinked, you missed it” God said
“But miss what?” Old father time repeated
“A lifetime dear fellow” God answered
“A lifetime, it is but the briefest snippet in time”
He continued, ““Never mind” he went on
“I think you’ll find that time
Doesn’t actually exist anyway”
Realizing he was now talking to no one in particular
“Darn it, it can get so lonely in this job”
God muttered to himself, as he somewhat
Reluctantly got back to work,
On his latest creation.

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

Details | Gary Hill Poem

Splat Flat Cat

The horse jumped on the dog
The dog jumped on the cat
I jumped on the horse
And the cat went splat!

The horse jumped off the dog
The dog jumped off the cat
I jumped off the horse
But the cat was flat

The horse went to the races
The dog put on his hat
"I don't want to play no more"
Said the splat flat cat.

Details | Gary Hill Poem

A Walk In the Park

I was out walking in the park

When something grabbed me from the dark

I felt its fangs tear into my flesh

I could smell the blood, sickly fresh

 

It is quite strange, but at the time

I did not realize the blood was mine

This thing tore at me with razor claws

Had my throat within its jaws

 

As I was about to breathe my last

This thing was startled by a shotgun blast

I awoke in hospital the next day

I was attacked by a “savage dog” they say

 

Apparently, that night it had attacked before

Three people lay dead in the morgue next door

They shot at the beast and away it ran

They said  “I was a lucky man”

 

About one month later, around four weeks or so

I was recuperating under a full moon glow

Suddenly a blinding rage filled my head

My toes and fingers grew and spread

 

Then something forced me onto all fours

As my hands and feet turned into paws

I could feel my bones bend and crack

As hair sprouted down my arching back

 

Sharpened fangs, my nose grew in length

I could feel within me growing strength

Senses heightened, smell and sight

And I was off into the night

 

Now I hunt, I am on the prowl

I announce my presence with a piercing howl

I leap and pounce on my unsuspecting prey

They have no chance to run away

 

I rip and tear with a satisfied growl

I bite and gnaw, I disembowel

Relishing in the guts and gore

But, my hunger burns, I will catch more

 

They should not be out after dark

On a full moon, walking in the park

I’ll rip and tear, I’ll shred their flesh

Ah, that sweet, sweet blood, so sickly fresh.

 

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

Details | Gary Hill Poem

Fatty Rascal's Big Ears

Fatty Rascal burst into tears

When someone said he had “big ears”

For big ears indeed Fatty had

He got them from his mom and dad

 

His ears where massive

Hung down to his knees

And flapped around

In the windy breeze

 

What with his big ears

Friends called him Jumbo

And Fatty was dumb

A bit of a dumbo

 

He confronted his parents

“Why the big ears” he did rant

“You’ve big ears” they replied

“Because you’re an elephant”

 

“OK, the big ears 

Are alright, I suppose”

” I guess it also explains

Why I have such a long nose”

 

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019

Details | Gary Hill Poem

Old Salt

In the corner of a pub
There sits an old sea dog
He tells the same old stories
His mind is full of fog

“Ahoy, me hearties! Pass the rum
And I’ll spin you a yarn of old
About the time I was a pirate
A tale I’ve rarely told”

“I’ve sailed the ocean blue
I’ve had a bounty on me head
Sailing under the Jolly Rodger
Doom and fear we spread”

“Few ships could out run
My ship the Whores Desire
Those that got too close
Came under ferocious cannon fire”

“Aye, I’ve scuppered many a vessel
That dared to happen by
Captives had just two choices
To join us or to die”

“My ship did on occasion
Have mutineers, alas
Those scurvy dogs soon saw my point
The point of me cutlass”

“I used to stand upon the deck
With me parrot on me shoulder
But, pirating became less fun
As I was growing older”

“I buried many a treasure
On islands of such beauty
But, my ageing mind was playing tricks
I forget where I buried the booty”

“Aye, I was an old sea dog for sure
But me memory had gone
No pieces of eight to be found
I’d sailed me last horizon”

“A pirate captain is no good
If his mind has gone all blank
It’ll end up only one way
A short walk along the plank”

“So that’s me story, all there is
There’s no more to be told
Ahoy, me hearties! Pass the rum
And I’ll spin you a yarn of old”

And so we’ll leave the old salt there
And his constant repetition
Three sheets to the wind, repeating yarns
To anyone who cares to listen

©Gary Wayne Hill, 2019